Gamer Girls

I think I’m starting to understand. With previous songs, I was always baffled because they weren’t covers…and they weren’t parodies…they were just…sort of the song but they would inject random video game references into the song.

So now we have ScarFox, which is a combination of the movie Scarface and the video game StarFox and it’s being sung to a straight cover of Push it to the Limit. What do Scarface and StarFox have to do with Push it to the Limit? NOTHING. But what retard Rolfe is doing is finding a pun title and then creating a video around that.

It’s the same shit that Newt does with his shitty movies that never go anywhere. It’s what creatively bankrupt morons do. Apparently. Newt comes up with a shitty pun title first and then builds the movie around that shitty pun title.

I was looking for something that makes sense, which is where I failed. None of this makes sense. There’s nothing to understand. There’s no deep meaning. This is simply the product of mental retardation.

You can have a song called Super Blues Brothers where you splice in clips from that horrible movie The Blues Brothers and game footage of Super Mario Brothers all the tune of…it could be anything. The song is completely unconnected. Jolene, Immigrant Song, Black Hole Sun, it doesn’t matter. Whatever you want.

That’s the game that’s being played here. Think of a mash up pun title of a movie and a video game, show footage of those two properties, and then do a cover of a completely unrelated song on top of it.

I was getting hung up on that last part. I was trying to figure out how the song is at all related to anything else that’s going on. Because that’s how a normal person would think. They’d make sure that the song is connected to the video. But I realise now that I need to think like a retard when I’m watching these videos. Because James is a retard. So as it turns out, the song is completely unrelated to the other stuff being referenced.

Although, looking at the older songs, I guess there was kind of a connection. Eye of the Tiger Electronics was sort of a cover of Eye of the Tiger with random references to Tiger handhelds and the visuals had tigers in it. Hearts of Fire, a song associated with the Rocky movies, had Punch Out visuals, Punch Out being a boxing game, of course. Nintendo Power of Love…umm…I might need help on that one. I don’t get Mighty Wings and Hadoukens either.

It’s funny seeing Newt in the Nintendo Power of Love video. It doesn’t even look like him. They apparently did something to attempt to make him look like Michael J Fox. They altered it digitally. Seems kind of insulting. Nobody else got digitally altered but Newt did.

Speaking of the Ideas Man, in his most recent live stream, he says that people were telling him that Madilynn Paige died, people obviously reading it on the blog, and he reveals that she didn’t die. He says that she got a job in finance. And I found her Facebook page and apparently that’s true. Sort of. She’s self-employed. I’m not quite sure how you go from prostitution to getting a job in the exciting world of finance. It’s undoubtedly a scam. But whatever. She’s alive.

I won’t be doing a full article retracting anything because if the Ideas Man wasn’t so fucking vague about everything, these misunderstandings wouldn’t happen.

But then who is it who died? He said that somebody died. I believe somebody who was involved in that shitty Amityville “movie” but who knows? I could have that wrong as well because everything has to be so fucking cryptic.

So Rex Viper. What does the future hold? Maybe they should bring Newt back. Both Newt and James share a singular retarded vision. Put these two retards together and you might just have enough brain power to equal one normal-functioning person.

It’s been years. How long can anyone hold a grudge? Imagine if they rehired Newt. Hire him on the condition that he never bothers with any of these god awful movies that never go anywhere again. That alone would be worth it. You’d be doing society a favour.

And what is Tony doing these days? He can’t possibly be making money from his channel. Let’s check SocialBlade.

About $8,000/year. That’s more than I expected. But how much time, effort, and expense is he putting into this? For eight thousand bucks a year?

Maybe Newt could get back with Tony. But again, there would have to be rules. Newt could never appear on an episode that has Horseface on it. He was AWFUL in those episodes.

Or what about that Pegwarmers guy? Newt used to the “producer” or something of that show. And the Pegwarmers guy is STILL just shooting in his basement, solo. Ever since Screenwave closed their podcast studio YEARS ago. Newt could help this guy get it together. Maybe Newt could even be the co-host. They could talk about action figures together.

Why not? Anything is possible. Maybe Newt is going to get back with Horseface. He just needs to show that he’s genuinely changed and isn’t a giant scumbag any more, which I guess is the problem.