0:00 – It starts off gay.
Then it gets more gay.
Then you see a Transformer cartoon of Optimus Prime. What the fuck is this? James is in his mid 40s and putting cartoon characters in this fucking music video. Have you considered sexy ladies in bikinis?
Then this GAY AS FUCK singer starts singing in falsetto.
Then he starts jumping around like the world’s biggest homosexual. What is this? Why in the fuck does James insist on doing this? And I’m talking about James Rolfe, not the singer who I think is also named James. I think somebody else in the band is also named James.
The song is gay. The ORIGINAL song is gay. How much more gay is a cover version by these fucking faggots? With fucking shitty cartoons from the 1980s overlayed on all of this.
0:58 – The drummer has a fucking gay man’s moustache like Freddie Mercury and he smiles seductively and kind of winks at the gay fucking twink singer. Why is this happening? The fucking is making extended eye contact with the drummer and serenading him. This is not subtle. This is OPENLY gay.
And James Rolfe is nodding along like he’s totally into this.
The fat drummer is like a fucking bear.
And what the hell are the Transformers for? What’s the relevance of Transformers to any of this? I haven’t watched that shit since I was 10. And it sucked cock even back then. Those cartoons were not good.
And it’s fucking Rodimus Prime that they’re showing. I don’t even know this guy. I outgrew Transformers by the time Rodimus Prime was introduced.
Oh my god. This is seven minutes long. I can’t listen to this. I’m only two minutes in and I feel like I’m in some sick fucking gay fantasy. With Transformers for some bizarre reason.
I don’t get it. WHY TRANSFORMERS? This shit is all copyrighted anyway. And what’s the fucking connection?
I’d actually rather watch the homoerotic interactions between the band members than this Transformers footage. The Transformers shit repeats a lot as well. It’s just fucking unbelievable. Who is this for? Who’s enjoying this?
2:40 – HELLA gay closeup for James Rolfe as he does some kind of solo or something and he’s nodding his head and opening and closing his mouth a lot. And he puckers his lips like he’s sucking a dick. What is this?
2:50 – What are these faces that James Rolfe is making? I don’t want to look at this.
3:10 – And Dino is fucking gay as fuck too.
3:15 – Now there’s suddenly footage of the Double Dragon NES game. Why? What’s the connection? Why suddenly insert this halfway through the video?
3:40 – The singer puts his arm on the shoulder of the bear, looks him deep in the eyes, and sings “You’ve got the touch.” Come on. This is gay. Is nobody else seeing this? And the bear is nodding along and smiling like, “Oh, yeah. I’ve got the touch alright. Meet me in the alley after we finish with this bullshit.”
3:50 – Now it’s just extended footage of various crotches of the band. This is fucking awful.
Then more Transformers for whatever reason.
4:45 – James Rolfe leaping into the air like a girl.
5:15 – The singer is twirling the microphone around like a girl.
5:25 – Now gay as fuck footage of the band playing at some nerd convention. It’s fucking embarassing.
I think there’s actually a woman in the front really cheering them on. Is she a plant? What woman goes to a nerd convention and then loses her shit over REX VIPER?
5:50 – James Rolfe takes a selfie with the band and some of the crowd. All dudes this time. What happened to that one woman was was there?
5:55 – Brief shot of Justin Silverman. This was filmed when he was still a member of the band but they apparently cut all of his shit out of the video, except for this brief appearance.
6:00 – Brief shot of Kieran. Same story.
Then the singer is holding the microphone right in front of the bear like he’s feeding him a big juicy cock.
Footage of some guy in the audience wearing leather arm…things like some fucking gay leather…thing.
6:15 – Fags dressed up as Transformers and gyrating their pelvises.
Then is mercifully ends after extended shots of crotches and the boys back in the studio about to discuss whose hotel room the gay orgy is going to take place in.
I don’t get it. At all. When was this song even released? I’ll say 1985.
It’s from 1986. Stan Bush is the singer. I never even heard of him. And the song was used in the Transformers movie, that’s why there were all of these Transformers clips.
This is before my time. I don’t know any of this shit. James knows the song from the movie, I guess. But I was too old to watch the movie.
I’m two years older than James Rolfe and I’m completely out of the loop. I was too young to be listening to fucking Stan Bush (whoever the fuck that is) and too old to be watching the Transformers movie. So there’s a very narrow range of people who MIGHT get some enjoyment out of this. People who were seven or eight years old in 1986 and might therefore have seen the movie OR 13 to 16 and might have enjoyed the works of Stan Bush.
Let me look this fucking Stan Bush up.
No, he’s only known for this one song that was in the movie. So he didn’t have any fanbase outside of the movie. So the only people who could possibly enjoy this are people who were seven or eight years old in 1986 when the Transformers movie came out.
And how many people who enjoyed the Transformers movie at seven or eight year olds still enjoy the movie as men in their mid 40s?
Plus, you have to be gay. So take whatever tiny number you have and reduce it by 90 percent.
There’s your audience. There’s your Rex Viper audience. Giant man babies born in either 1980 or 1981 who prefer the company of men.
I think that you need to broaden your appeal a little. This is complete fucking shit.
And look at these Youtube comments. Every single fucking one of them is shitting on the video. No matter how big of a contrarian somebody might be, NOBODY is taking up the Rex Viper cause. Nobody is supporting this shit at all, saying that it’s good, saying that they like it. Nothing like that.
The closest you get are people saying, “Hey, James seems to be enjoying himself. Leave him alone” like James Rolfe is some fucking dodering old man and you’re his son visiting him at the nursing home watching him play checkers with some other old man. “Oh, he always enjoyed checkers. It’s great to see him so happy.”
Why this? Why any of this? If you’re going to start a band as a middle aged man, which is bizarre enough in itself, why not try something interesting? Do some avante garde experimental shit. Nobody is going to listen to this anyway.
Or why not a blues band? Or jazz? Do something that’s old and nobody listens to but at least has some artistic merit.
No, he’s going to do cover songs of 80s bands, despite the fact that he was born in 1980 so this shit is all before his time. I don’t think that I can give you the title of five mainstream songs from the 1980s. I wasn’t listening to music as a kid.
What’s the goal with the band? James seems to want people to listen and buy the album. He says that an album is coming out.
I can’t even get into that video. I watched it but it’s just depressing. He begs you to subscribe to the Rex Viper channel but he clearly knows that this is a giant flop. So why continue? He’s just embarassing himself with this gay as fuck shit.
Imagine doing something and every single person tells you, “Hey, this is complete shit.” It’s got to be demoralising. But he seems to just tune everything out. Same as he did with the AVGN Movie. Everybody hated it but James seems to just ignore the overwhelming concensus that the movie sucks dick.
It can’t be healthy to live in that kind of delusional dream world.
What’s slightly surprising is that the fags on Reddit are all over the comments section repeating their same three “memes” and seemingly indicating that they also don’t like this Rex Viper shit. But in a way, this stuff is right up their alley. It’s HELLA gay. Normally, they enjoy the homoerotic aspects of AVGN like the time James was tied to a chair with an onion in his mouth, the time he wore a wig for that Big Rigs video, that picture where it looks like he’s about to kiss Doug Walker, shit like this. But Rex Viper, an extremely gay “band”, is just met with derision.
It goes to show that there’s not a single person who likes this. And I intentionally looked for ways to enjoy this because it would make for a more interesting article than just adding to the chorus of people dogpiling on this. But I can’t. There’s nothing to like about Rex Viper. It’s 100%, pure, unfiltered, shit.