So it’s the usual lies and tedium and talking about how some things are cute from old Zombie Gums.
But what I found interesting is that if you go to her Twitch page and watch the unedited stream, she starts by talking about her dog.
Well, first she talks about having the flu. She really wants everybody know about every minor medical problem she encounters. And even the gross ones like when she got her “gum graft.”
But then somebody asks her about her chihuahua.
So she starts talking about how she saw something on Instagram of an AI drawing that they were selling in a store called Hobby Lobby of a chihuahua in space. And she thought that the dog bore an uncanny resemblance to her own dog. You know…because dogs of the same breed tend to look alike. That’s kind of the point of breeds. They’re selectively breeding to get certain traits. But Erin apparently doesn’t realise that her chichuahua looks remarkably like every other chihuahua.
Her dog’s name is Pickles, by the way. I would have suggested Casserole.
Mike, being the complete buffoon that he is, bought Erin the picture. This picture that Erin doesn’t give two shits about. But he’s constantly trying to buy the affection of this personality blackhole.
Erin then suggested that she plans on taking a picture of herself holding the dog next to the picture. So that we can all awe at how cute it all is.
Why is this the first that we’re hearing about this? Why doesn’t she have pictures of her fucking dog on Twitter. Is she posting this shit on Instagram? Let me check.
Not that I’m seeing. She has an AI drawing of herself. She has a picture where she’s trying to look sexy in front of some band poster that Mike obviously bought. She has a picture of her looking awkward where she’s cosplaying as a race car driver. How weird is this? Cosplaying as somebody who has a job. Just go get a job for real. They’re not so bad.
There’s also a picture of her in front of the Highland Theatre holding an ice cream cone. Where is this? I’m going to guess that this was during one of her many trips to visit her parents in California.
Yeah. Of course it is. It’s a closed cinema in Los Angeles.
God, it’s so fucking insulting to both Mike and “the East Coast” broadly that she spends fucking half of her life visiting her parents in Los Angeles. Like she’s too good for both Mike and New Jersey. It’s been over FIVE YEARS and she’s doing this shit. If Los Angeles is so fabulous, fucking stay there.
So anyway, she has this dog. She opted for the most stereotypically “cute” breed, the chihuahua. And Mike, totally without a spine, just went along with this bullshit. “Oh, sure, you want a little yappy dog to shit my house up that you’re going to forget about in two weeks? No problem, honey. Zombie gums, you say? Sounds like a good idea. You want to visit your parents for the third time this month? My money is your money.”
What the fuck is she bringing to this relationship? That dog is going to be neglected for the rest of its life. She doesn’t want a fucking dog. She has absolutely no interests. She only got this dog to be like Paris Hilton from 25 years ago. The dog needs a lot of attention.
How is Erin going to spend time with the dog? She’s in California half of her life. Surely, she’s not going to bring that fucking dog with her every time. That would be not only extremely obnoxious for her fellow travelers but it would be abuse on the dog.
So what are they going to do? They both seem to be in California a lot. They’re going to put the dog in a kennel? They don’t seem to know anybody who can look after the dog. And what a fucking burden that is on whoever they might rope into this anyway, fucking Justin Silverman or whoever. He wants to take care of a yappy dog every other week?
Then there’s the whole shitting and socialising and training that has to be done. And you can’t leave a dog like that alone for two seconds or they start fucking barking and possibly tearing shit up. I think that small dogs are particularly prone to constantly needing company. You need to either ensure that somebody is with that fucking dog every second of the day or get another dog, but I don’t want to suggest that second thing because there’s already one dog suffering from this completely asinine, selfish decision.
And why are there no fucking pictures? Isn’t that the whole reason why she got the dog? To have something “cute” that she can show on the internet? Not one picture. I wouldn’t even know about it, had I not gone to this Twitch video, in a section that she deleted from the Youtube video. Why is she not mentioning the fucking dog anywhere?
She’ll talk about her zombie gums and shitty soup that she made but not the fact that she got a dog?
This was worth a re-tweet, but no mention of her dog. “Hey guys! Remember CD’s?” Sure. I remember them, Erin. You want to talk about how cute Pickles is now?
I’m thinking that this dog isn’t “where Erin’s heart is.” But she’s stuck with it for the next 15 fucking years. And worse, the dog is stuck with her for the next 15 years.
Best case scenario is that they get bored with it within three months, take it to a shelter, and the dog gets euthanised. This is no way for an animal to live. With fucking Zombie Gums?
And with all of Erin’s health problems, both real and imagined, is a dog really a good idea? Surely, she’s allergic to dogs. She claims to have allergies constantly. Dogs isn’t on the list?
They also claimed to have a cat in a video from a few years ago. Mike was talking about a cat running around and how he was going to pick it up but he never did. I wasn’t sure if it was a joke or not but this could just be one of those things where some people get pets and then treat them as completely disposable. They keep it for a few months, don’t want to deal with it, and then get rid of it. These seem exactly the sort of people who would do that.
Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen was talking about his cat in some recent video. He found it in or near a dumpster by some movie theatre that he worked at, along with some other cat. He took them to the vet, the vet was disinterested, so Newt kept the cats. The male cat died shortly thereafter but the female cat survived and that’s the cat that he still has.
I think that he’s had it for at least a few years so he seems to be looking after it. So good for the Ideas Man, I guess.
He also had a livestream recently where somebody in the chat was calling PVC Bondage Guy “fat” and she talked about how she was in special education. Should I shoehorn that into here or make that a separate article? No, I think I have enough material just in those two things to get a full article.