Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkVmflULqok

He has a disgusting thumbnail of his swollen eye so I’m not embedding the video.

Pathetic live stream where Newt repeatedly begs forgiveness from…I think Fallon. It’s over some shit that he said in the previous live stream that I talked about here:

The Fabulous Return of PVC Bondage Guy

He deleted the video and I don’t know what he said. I was in and out of consciousness when I watched the video. It was the same thing I did for this most recent livestream. It was like 2:00 am and I was trying to sleep so I thought that the dulcet tones of Newt’s whining would do the trick.

Apparently, Newt said some shit in the video that Fallon took exception to. So now Fallon isn’t talking to Newt. Newt begs forgiveness and says that he’s going to his psychiatrist again to try to figure out why he keeps behaving this way.

Newt, it’s because you’re an asshole. I just saved you some money. Just give Fallon a $50 tip the next time you pay her for sex and everything will be smoothed over. It’s not a big deal.

He doesn’t even say who it is who got upset but from what I’ve gathered, it’s Fallon. Fallon, of course, is the star of the still-not-released Sucks 2 Suck. What must those Patreon backers be thinking?

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/sucks2suck-completion-fund#

Oh, it was Indie Go Go. Well, there were only 37 backers. But still, $3,113 isn’t nothing. It allegedly finished shooting two years ago. I wonder if anyone even got their “perks”. I want that signed picture of that big, fat chick.

Newt also takes exception to the idea that Wawa is a gas station. He obviously reads the blog religiously. He says that he’s not going to sue Wawa or DoorDash over this because he’s not a litigious person and “accidents happen”. Why not? This seems like a valid claim. He already has the fucking lawyer. Yes, accidents happen but that’s what these companies have insurance for. It’s time to cash in. Newt could be making “tits and gore” films for the rest of his life with any settlement that he gets.

It seems like a pretty big deal to me to order food and have your throat and face swell up as a result. Why would he let this go? There are so many things that Newt should let go of but this isn’t one of them. This is a fucking lottery ticket. He has all of the pictures and receipts. Wawa seems to have acknowledged that this happened. He’s just going to accept a five dollar refund of his chowder as full and final settlement? Not even a $20 goodwill gift certificate?

Newt, speak to a fucking lawyer about this. You could have died. Talk about your emotional distress. “I’ll never feel safe ordering from Wawa again. It was my favourite gas station cuisine and now my life is changed forever.” It’s complete madness. This is free money that you’re passing up.

Anyway, there was also an interesting story about some people from Screenwave coming to a recent screening of Minecraft at Newt’s cinema, they were all wearing Screenwave shirts, they took a picture of Newt making popcorn, and then they made a mess in the cinema by knocking the popcorn down.

The idea that a gang of uniformed corporate goons would hassle a small-town cinema is kind of quaint. “Hey, this is a Screenwave town. This spilled popcorn is just the beginning.”

Newt says that it wasn’t anybody who we know. Lesser-known Screenwave employees. Hopefully, that chubby Asian woman wasn’t involved in this.

So somebody asks why Newt doesn’t just ban them from the cinema, which is what I was thinking as well. Newt says that he doesn’t want to bother. He doesn’t want to lose the custom. Good for him, I guess. I’m sure that he enjoys the opportunity to see them again. They all seem to enjoy the rivalry.

Fucking Team Screenwave. I could not imagine working in a place that could instill that kind of company loyalty. You’re all going to put Screenwave shirts on and cause petty mayhem? For what? The guy was a plagiarist and he’s a giant asshole but he’s not working there any more. He hasn’t worked there for YEARS. Move on. You’ve got other stuff going on.

And why do they care about any damage that Newt did to Screenwave’s reputation? It’s a job. And presumably not a good-paying job. These people are getting matching Screenwave tattoos next.

Newt talks about his shitty movie ideas, including one about a “bimbo ray gun” that turns empowered women into “bimbos” and it’s really deep and satirical according to the Ideas Man. Uh huh. Sounds likes a real think piece.

There’s also news about Florida Man Saves Christmas. It’s no longer going to be called Florida Man. He doesn’t give the new name but it’s not Florida Man. And indeed, Florida Man is apparently only part of the comic now. It’s some sort of ensemble cast now.

What the fuck? He’s doing this on the advice of his “distributor” or something, presumably on anti-plagiarism advice. There already is a Florida Man comic, as Newt is well aware of.

YEARS ago, I suggested that he call the character Rural Pennsylvania Man. Is that what he’s going to use? Newt, you can use it, not that you need my permission. You freely steal ideas to your heart’s content.

But Newt says that the comics are already done. Six of them, anyway. They’re going to have to re-do the covers, I assume, to change the name. And is there still going to be a character called Florida Man or will he be called something different? Because if the name is changed, they’re going to have to change every reference in every comic.

And how is it suddenly an ensemble comic? They have six comics where presumably Florida Man was the central character. How are they going to change that now?

Well, Newt promises that the comic will be released soon, something he’s been saying for years, but this time he means it. So I guess all of our questions will be answered.

He also showed a bunch of scripts that he wrote recently, including a Florida Man (or whatever it’s called now) script. And they’re all printed out. He’s showing how thick they are, “Oh, this one is 60 pages” and whatever.

Newt…why are you printing this trash out? Just to show us what a stack of papers looks like? I know that people print stuff out because it’s easier to proofread if you’re reading from a paper as opposed to a screen but NO WAY is Newt proofreading ANYTHING that he does. So this is just for us. He wants to show us what 60 pages looks like. We know, Newt. It’s like three quarters of an inch. Who cares? It’s the CONTENT that matters and the content is pure dogshit.

Somebody asks about Shark Vampire and Vanpire and whatever and…Newt basically admits that it’s not happening. So we’ll never get that “tits and gore” masterpiece about a vampire with a shark’s head. Or the entirely ad-libbed movie about a van that feasts on blood. It’s a real loss to cinema.

But most of the video was about Newt groveling to Fallon. So Fallon, listen up. You’re some no-talent prostitute in rural Pennsylvania. This is it. If you ever want to make it out of the gutter, Newt is your ticket to fame and fortune. His movie about an undercover government agent who used to be a porn star and is now making movies with sexy monsters is going to be the next big thing. Do you want to be the topless Medusa or don’t you?

Sure, Newt may have said some insensitive things. Maybe he commented on your tits. Or how you’re a lousy mother. Or how your lady parts have an offensive odour. But you didn’t know that Newt was an asshole? It’s been his defining trait throughout his life. You had no problem when he was being an asshole to Horseface, Tony from Hack the Movies, PVC Bondage Guy, Kieran, James Rolfe, Justin Silverman, that woman who died from cancer who he fucked up the ass, or anyone else who he’s ever known.

So lose the attitude and respond to Newt’s increasingly desperate texts. You’re no better than he is. Anybody spending time with Newt is a piece of shit. He knows this, you know this, we all know this. As big of a loser as Newt is, you’re the one leeching off of him. What does that make you?