Newt Wallen has a list of projects that never go anywhere but they have titles like Shark Vampire, Planet Frankenstein, Amityville Pool Toy Massacre, Mars vs Cheerleaders, and Sucks 2 Suck. Actually, I guess those titles are all lame and uninspired. But as plagiarised and hackneyed as these works are, he’s at least attempting something more…outlandish than Florida Man. Florida Man is just a fucking guy living in Florida. Who gives a shit? He’s not a guy with a shark’s head or a guy with a disco ball for a head or a guy with a camera for a head or any of the other weird-thing-for-a-head-based characters that he comes up with. It’s not any of the Universal monsters that have fallen out of copyright. It’s not a hot chick. Why did he pick Florida Man to rip off?
He’s obviously trying to capitalize on the “meme” but I never even heard of the “meme” until he started talking about it. I’m not going to places where people talk about “memes”, so I’m perhaps not the target audience but still. Is Florida Man a big thing? It’s from ten years ago at this point.
And in the unlikely event that somebody wants a Florida Man comic, somebody’s already done one. YEARS ago. An actual professional comic book writer, not fucking Newt Wallen and his shit-tier writing abilities.
https://floridamancomics.com/index.php/
And just last year, that guy released another Florida Man-based comic. These are both written and drawn by PROFESSIONALS with years of experience. Professional writer, professional artist. Why would I go to fucking Newt for my Florida Man itch? Nobody even has a Florida Man itch.
Why didn’t he come up with an ORIGINAL superhero or something? “Original” is almost certainly too much to ask from Newt but why didn’t he rip off an existing superhero? Or even just put a weird thing for the character’s head? There’s so much that could be done and his shitty projects that never go anywhere are…terrible but at least a little outlandish but his comic is just some guy?
If your comic is going to be just some guy, that’s fine, but then the writing has to be exceptional. Interesting stories. Good dialogue. But we know that it won’t be. Newt’s writing has to be the worst writing I’ve ever seen from anybody. It’s shockingly bad.
That’s why he goes with these outlandish stories with “tits and gore”. It’s a way to gloss over his absolutely horrendous writing. But Florida Man has none of that.
So you have a boring character and absolutely atrocious writing. Plus the whole plagiarism thing, but I guess that’s going to be an issue no matter what Newt does.
It’s a comic. You can draw anything. Why a normal guy? It would cost just as much to have an artist draw a rip-off of Spider-Man as it would a normal guy. And Spider-Man has more appeal than Florida Man.
What are some public domain comic book characters that he could just straight up rip off? This is something that he does often. There must be some. Let me look this up.
https://pdsh.fandom.com/wiki/Public_Domain_Super_Heroes
Well, Santa Claus is on this list, oddly enough. Maybe Newt has seen this and that’s why it’s Florida Man Saves Christmas. Santa is a character.
There’s fucking loads and so many of these can easily be turned into something that Newt “specializes” in. Miss Fury, Moon Girl, Lady Luck. You can have ALL of these characters in the comic.
Do something with a wrestling character based on PVC Bondage Guy. Do an equestrian-based character based on Horseface. I mean, that one writes itself for Newt. A woman with a horse’s head for a head. How about a comic based on all of the prostitutes who Newt knows? You can’t get something out of that?
Why am I coming up with ideas for the Ideas Man? Why is the Ideas Man so bereft of ideas?
Florida Man is what he came up with. Of all the things in the world to plagiarize, FLORIDA MAN is what he went with. It just boggles the mind. This guy has never made a single good decision in his entire life. But somehow he thinks that everything he does is a homerun.
Oh, I see that Newt re-tweeted something about George Foreman dying. Newt, of course, being a death-obsessed asshole. Never talked about George Foreman in his life but now he wants everybody to know about it.
What about a comic character who has a grill for a head? This shit is easy. But no, Florida Man is what Newt is banking on. He spent money on this. He paid a guy in Brazil or somewhere to draw this shit. Six issues, apparently. Six issues of pure shit that will never even get released.
something that baffles me is why they always choose to feature the same places when making something location-based. whether it be florida, new york, paris etc, it’s always the same locations and it never deviates from that. why not use places from obscure countries or provinces in order to escape the common trope? africa for instance is a vastly underutilised continent when it comes to creating comics or writing any sort of fiction for that matter. newt could take advantage of this and exploit this untapped niche for his own gain and recognition as an aspiring creator. just picture the possibilities. I’m sure he could pique people’s interest by making a comic called “gambit in gambia” or “commotion in comoros” or mega babies from mogadishu. i don’t know. anything just to distance himself from the common glut of trite ideas that saturate the industry. but he doesn’t seem to desire that; he just wants to further plunge into the hackneyed world of clichés and overused plot devices, contributing nothing in the end
I suppose that he’d have to research those places. Not that he’s surely doing any research about Florida.
But along a similar line, he could set the comic in rural Pennyslvania or where ever he lives. Even if it was Philadelphia or New Jersey, he could explore the lesser-known areas that he surely has familiarity with.
“An Equestrian-based character” lmao.