The sequel that nobody wanted. It’s just a 20 minute skit. A skit that makes no fucking sense. I’ll have to watch it again for the purposes of a review.
1:45 – So it starts with a recap of the previous nonsensical skit. James is fighting an AI that beats the games automatically. For some reason, James doesn’t like that. I don’t know. But the way to beat this AI is to get some “glitches”. Why will glitches beat the AI? No idea. Nothing is ever explained.
2:45 – Good shot of James’ advanced stage baldness.
He also admits, basically from the start, that the plot makes no sense. He says that he’s just seeking the Glitch Gremlin out for “fan service”.
You know what would have been better? Coming up with a plot that makes fucking sense. Give the characters appropriate motivation for their behaviour. But he can’t do it. He’s a legitimate, no-fooling, seven and a half years in special education, retard. No offense to retards, but why am I watching this? Why is anyone?
At some point, you’re the idiot for watching this. You know that the man is retarded but you’re still watching his material. What does that say about you? You support the artistic contributions of the retard community?
This video is fucking awful. It makes no fucking sense. And he admits, more than once in this video, that it makes no fucking sense. Then why do this? He has fucking Screenwave working for him. Why didn’t anyone at Screenwave say, “Why don’t we help you with the script, James? You know, just have it make sense”?
This is all that James ever does. Everything is stupid bullshit that makes no sense. You’re getting an insight into the mind of a retard. It’s not a place I want to be.
3:00 – So he’s in the snowy wilderness searching for the Glitch Gremlin. How does James know that the Glitch Gremlin would be here? I don’t know. Why is he wearing a short-sleeved shirt when it’s snowing? I don’t know. But James finds the Glitch Gremlin really quickly.
3:30 – The Glitch Gremlin calls this “needless nostalgia bait”. Another reference to the script not making any sense.
3:45 – There’s some dumb fight between James and the Glitch Gremlin, of course. I don’t know why.
4:45 – James admits that he’s bald. But is still rocking that strip of hair across the middle of his scalp.
5:15 – There’s a weird reference to how gremlins used to “glitch planes”. He says that the Glitch Gremlin’s grandfather “glitched” the plane that James’ grandfather was on, causing his death.
Now…first of all, this assumes that James’ grandfather had children already when he was in the military. Okay, it’s possible.
But how the fuck would James know that the Glitch Gremlin’s grandfather was the one who brought down James’ grandfather’s plane? The guy died. Even if James’ grandfather knew which glitch gremlin took down the plane, which there’s no indication that he did, how would he impart that knowledge to future generations with the notable disadvantage of being dead shortly after the “glitch” happened? Did he radio it in? “Oh, it’s the glitch gremlin William Finn who caused my plane to ‘glitch’. Be sure to tell my wife about this and keep this memory alive for the next 80 years so that my future grandson can track down the future grandson of this glitch gremlin.”
It doesn’t make any fucking sense.
6:00 – “It’s a legacy sequel. We had to over-complicate the lore.”
Yet another example of James admitting that the plot MAKES NO SENSE. And he’s used the term “legacy sequel” at least twice now. It appeared as text. I don’t know even know what a “legacy sequel” is. Let me look this up.
“A movie that continues a franchise’s story many years after the original.”
So like Mad Max: Fury Road. I’m not sure why this would require making a story that makes no sense.
6:15 – We see the Glitch Gremlin’s wife. I’m going to assume that this is Kevin Finn’s real-life wife. She’s on Facebook and has a bunch of professional headshots and shit. It says that she’s a (failed) actress, singer, and writer and she lives in Southern California. Kevin Finn also lives in Southern California and is a failed “producer” or something of reality tv shows. I guess. At least one.
6:45 – Yet another reference to this being a “legacy sequel” And this woman looks at the camera and says that they have to be prepared for a possible trilogy. You know…for all of you people who love watching skits that make no sense as written by retards.
I would point out that I don’t like the fourth wall breaking that Jimmy does in these fucking stupid skits but what’s the point? Even without that annoying factor…nothing makes fucking sense. That’s the main problem.
7:45 – So now James is back in the “nerd room”. Wasn’t he just in the forest? Whatever even happened with that interraction?
I’ll tell you what happened. I just went back to that part of the video. After James told this nonsenical story about the Glitch Gremlin’s grandfather killing James’ grandfather in World War II, HE JUST TURNS AROUND AND LEAVES.
So James goes there to confront the Glitch Gremlin. He miraculously knew where he was. He finds the Glitch Gremlin. He fights the Glitch Gremlin. He tells the Glitch Gremlin that he needs his glitches to combat this AI (for whatever reason). The Glitch Gremlin declines James’ offer, saying that he’s too old. James tells this story about his grandfather…AND THEN HE JUST LEAVES.
Why not force the Glitch Gremlin to come with him? James had the fucking Glitch Gremlin in his hands. Or why didn’t James say, “Hey, think about it. I could really use your help.” And then the Glitch Gremlin could say, “Okay, I’ll have to go speak to my wife.”
It would at least make SOME sense. But no. After this ridiculous story about James’ father being killed, James just turns around and leaves. Then we get a scene with the Glitch Gremlin talking to his wife. Then we get a scene with James returning to the “nerd room”, apparently having failed his mission to get the Glitch Gremlin to help him.
James…you didn’t even fucking try. James literally had the Glitch Gremlin in his hands. Why didn’t he just put him in his pocket and walk home? It makes no fucking sense. How far did James travel to find this Glitch Gremlin? And then he just, inexplicably, gives up. He doesn’t even say goodbye to the Glitch Gremlin. He just turns around and leaves as soon as he tells this stupid story about World War II.
7:45 – So James is back in his “nerd room” and John is the AI, which is depicted as a man in a muscle suit. Why is the AI a man in a muscle suit? How the fuck do I know? Nothing is explained. There is no explanation. James just puts “random” shit in his “movies” and thinks that this makes him clever. No. James. Listen. It’s an indication that you’re mentally retarded. Somebody should be overseeing these scripts so that you don’t come off like a fucking retard. I mean, I know you are retarded but is this the image you want to give?
So anyway, they’re using this musicle suit because I guess the internet who does the bad special effects didn’t want to keep using whatever computer program they were using to use an animated muscular body for John.
Now the AI is going to make James play Tony Hawk 5. I don’t know why. And James doesn’t want to do this. I don’t know why.
James refuses and says that he’s going to quit and get a job in an office. Why? I don’t know.
And then, just suddenly, James has a job in an office. How? Who gave him the job? Who would give this fucking retard a job in an office? He has no work experience for the past 15+ years. This is what James thinks actual work is like. You can just walk in and get a job anywhere. And he has complete contempt for actual work. Working in an office is described as “boring” and James is doing this as basically self-punishment. Because he was unable to beat the AI, whatever that means.
8:45 – We’re back to the Glitch Gremlin. Kevin Finn’s wife says something…but I don’t even know what she said.
“I dropped the (something) 200 points. I made 17 grown men cry. Two of them vomitted.”
Oh. That. I get it. Makes total sense.
9:30 – So James is in the office job that he somehow got. The paper jams in the printer. It’s because of the Glitch Gremlin. Naturally, this leads to James fighting the Glitch Gremlin. Again. Why? NOBODY FUCKING KNOWS!
10:30 – James captures the Glitch Gremlin. AGAIN. Is he going to force him to help him this time? Or just tell another nonsensical ancedote and then walk off?
No, instead, James threatens to throw the Glitch Gremlin in the paper shredder. This seems extreme and…why? What’s the motivation for any of this?
James says that it’s because the Glitch Gremlin’s grandfather killed James’ grandfather. But then why didn’t James kill the Glitch Gremlin the FIRST time he captured him?
So the Glitch Gremlin, about to be plunged to his death, says that it’s not true that gremlins “glitched” planes during World War II. Why didn’t he say that the first time?
And how does the Glitch Gremlin even know this for sure? He wasn’t there. I guess that he’s as sure as James can be. But James immediately believes him.
So how did James’ grandfather die then? Pilot error, I guess. James isn’t at all affected by this revelation.
11:30 – So James quits his job at the office. He takes his shirt and tie off right there in the office. Imagine that. Imagine somebody quitting and then they start undressing. “I won’t need this shirt and tie any more.” Dude, you can still wear them. You’re just going to walk home shirtless?
Oh, this is actually addressed. We see James leaving the office and putting his “nerd” shirt on. I guess that he brought the shirt with him to his office job, just in case. He had an extra shirt just in case he spilled something on it. Well, he is retarded. A spare change of clothing might be sensible.
The Glitch Gremlin also brought his vest uniform with him to his job of glitching coffee machines and office printers. He wore a shirt and tie too. Not quite sure why the Glitch Gremlin would bring the vest with him to work. Well, maybe Kevin Finn is retarded too. He was at least somewhat responsible for The Angry Video Game Nerd: The Movie, after all.
12:00 – They’re back in the “nerd room”. The Glitch Gremlin tells John that he’s “coming for your nuts.” Umm…a little homoerotic fan service for the boys at TheCinemassacreTruth, I guess. But it’s not the only one. Just wait.
So the Glitch Gremlin starts glitching out Tony Hawk 5. And…for some reason, the AI doesn’t like this. It effects him for some reason. Why? No idea. Why do glitches defeat the AI? What’s the logic to any of this?
Terrible acting from Jimmy as he pretends to play the game. So…wait…is Jimmy playing the game? Or…is the Glitch Gremlin…or the AI…who the fuck knows what’s going on? Nobody. Not even fucking James Rolfe.
14:00 – Now…somebody…is playing Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Why? I don’t know.
Almost all of these “glitches” have just been clipping issues, by the way. Who cares?
15:30 – The first of MANY glitches that were taken from Mike Matei’s Game Glitches series that he made over ten years ago. He recently streamed his “reaction” to the videos.
“Help” by Mike Matei, I guess.
16:15 – Now they’re playing some Rocky game. For reasons that nobody knows.
17:00 – Montage from Mike’s decade old series on glitches inserted for no reason.
17:30 – Jimmy says “mission accomplished”. I…guess? Why? What happened? What was achieved by this montage?
17:45 – But then a PS5 comes to life, I guess. Another in the long-running series of “inanimate objects come to life and attack James Rolfe”.
18:00 – John is now out in the “nerd room”, wearing his muscle suit, and forces James to play the PS5. Don’t know why. James doesn’t want to . Don’t know why.
But John grabs James and forces him to play it. Very homoerotic. There’s a muscular, shirtless man imposing his will on nerdy James Rolfe. I expect plenty of screenshots of this over at TheCinemassacreTruth. For months. YEARS even.
“Take this controller. You’re not going anywhere.” And James is petrified as John puts him in a headlock. Yeah. Take it, James. Take all of it. Every inch of it.
18:15 – They’re playing some Spider-Man game and I think I actually know the issue here. Sort of. Kevin Finn earlier said that he gave up on glitching video games because the newer games have fewer glitches due to better quality testing and patches and whatnot. Which doesn’t make sense if we’re to believe that the Glitch Gremlin CAUSES the glitches but whatever. So the Glitch Gremlin is intimated by this modern game because it has fewer glitches.
18:30 – John is being really aggressive with James and says, “Don’t stop”. James replies with, “It’s too good.”
Get a room, boys. This is ridiculously gay. Let me just check TheCinemassacreTruth. The video has only been up for four hours but I bet that they already have full montages of all of the “best” parts of this video.
Well, that’s a start. One of the top comments: “That flesh-colored suit is making my cock hard”
19:15 – Yet another reference to this being a “legacy sequel”. James must have just learned this term recently.
19:30 – They can’t figure out how to glitch this game because it’s been patched so the Glitch Gremlin suggests “glitching the old Games Glitches episode so it will never play again.” James says, “That’s it…you glitch the old episode and that will retroactively…umm…reset the mythos so that…you can…okay, fuck the explanation. Let’s go.”
He admitted that none of this makes sense. But this is another autistic fixation with James: time travel. But he couldn’t incorporate it in any way that makes sense. Because he’s mentally retarded.
20:00 – So now they’re able to glitch the game because…I don’t know.
20:45 – Now…somebody…is playing Miles Morales. I don’t know why.
21:00 – “What is the logic. No one can explain.”
Indeed, Jimmy.
22:30 – Then the AI John dies because…I don’t know.
23:00 – “I’ll be going now. I’ll just awkwardly walk away because the episode’s over now.”
Great writing, Jimmy. Instead of writing something that MAKES SENSE, just repeatedly talk about how stupid and nonsensical everything is. “Hey, it’s SUPPOSED to be bad, guys.” This is all that he ever does. Instead of making shit, why not try to make something good? Because he can’t. So he makes total trash that doesn’t make any sense and tries to pass it off as ironically bad. No. This is just the best you can do, Mr Seven and a Half Years in Special Education.
23:15 – Then it ends with some…who even cares? He tacked on some extra skit about some demo cd from 2004 that erases your saved game files.
Oh, and James is wearing the Santa hat for this. Because he’s bald and self-conscious. I’m surprised that he didn’t wear it the whole episode.
Then the video ends. Written, directed, and edited by James Rolfe. Uh huh. Well, I can believe it this time. “Help” by “Mike and Sean O’Rourke”.
Absolute shit. It’s a 25 minute skit. And of course this being James Rolfe, it’s a skit that makes no fucking sense.
“she’s a (failed) actress, singer, and writer”
sounds like the perfect person for newt’s next attempt at humour
As far as I’m aware, she’s not a prostitute.
I clicked on the link to watch the video because I was curious. I had watched the avgn before the… noticeable drop in quality. Tried watching it again but just couldn’t get into it. a weird detail is that they made the intro shorter. and it used to have lyrics. any reason why they are not using it?
nah I am just reading too much into this. perhaps there was no reason at all….
They haven’t used the intro with lyrics in I think many years. According to the gay men on Reddit, it’s due to a pay dispute with whoever wrote the song. They didn’t want to pay him royalties or something. Whether this is true or just some catty rumour, I don’t know.
I see the boys on TCT are now accusing you of being the Alabama slammer guy. Never mind that you can actually form a coherent sentence.
It’s the same two people who always make these comments and for a long time, I assumed that they were alts of GarbageStabber. They certainly wrote messages in the exact same style that he did. They were really friendly with GarbageStabber when he was there but as soon as he got banned, suddenly they do this weird thing where they pretend that they’re big enemies of his. It’s stupid and not worth commenting on but you obviously didn’t know the history of these cretins.