22:45 – So they’re starting Circus Atari. One of the horntards asks, “Do you ever go on any of the carnival rides?” Erin says, “Not…usually.”
You don’t say. Erin not doing something? I refuse to believe it.
23:15 – Erin, who spent the last ten seconds making “boing” noises, said, “This is great. Shit like this is fun. It’s addicting.”
She’s never played the game before. Not once. But she finds it “addicting.”
Then Mike says, “I don’t know how to get him to go higher.”
What a fucking doofus. I guess that Mike “forgot” how to play Circus Atari. The height is determined by how far to the side the guy lands. So you want the guy to land on the very edge of the seesaw thing to get him to go higher.
I used to play this game all the time, by the way. It was great. It seems like Mike also “forgot” that if you press the button, the man will go to the other side of the seesaw.
Then a horntard says exactly this, about how you have to hit the end of the thing, and Mike says, “Oh, you have to hit the end? I forget. I haven’t played this in a while.”
Uh huh. Fuck off. Some kind of video game dementia settling into the Matei household.
24:45 – A horntard asks if they’re using original paddles or some remakes. Erin didn’t even know. She couldn’t answer this. She had to ask Mike.
25:15 –
Mike: Why do I play games other than this?
Erin: That’s how I felt playing Carnival.
Oh…fucking fuck off, you fucking dumb bitch.
“It’s such an abrasive sound.”
Fucking piece of shit moron.
25:30 – So now Erin is playing. “I’m nervous.”
Why? You’re surely a pro at this game. Or did you “forget” how to play it too?
She missed the first fucking jump.
26:00 – “It’s harder than it looks.”
It really isn’t. But Erin certainly makes the game look exceptionally hard.
27:00 – Erin says that she “forgot” to flip the seesaw.
“I can’t play this.”
Well, for once she’s not lying. This is the worst Circus Atari footage ever recorded.
28:15 – She’s showing an “emote” that ShiShi made. It’s an “emote” of Erin that says “FML” and she explains to Mike that this stands for “fuck my life.”
Let’s just move on.
29:15 – They’re playing Fishing Derby. It’s a two-player fishing game. And Erin just stares at the screen and says, “How are you making it go down?” Mike says, “Press down.”
What a fucking moron.
30:30 – “Okay, I think I like Fishing Derby. This is fun.”
Fuck off.
31:30 – “I should do videos on these games that I like.”
Die in a fire.
32:15 – Erin is talking about videos that she made on Atari games. She gives He-Man as an example. Mike says “That was Intellivision.”
Erin “forgot” that it was on Intellivision.
33:30 – Erin says that she’s never been fishing. God fucking damn it. You name it and she’s never done it.
Fishing was a popular pastime when I was a kid. And I didn’t live in Mayberry. I lived in a city. Not a big city. It was like a suburban area. It was a dump. But kids would go fishing in these shitty lakes nearby. Lakes that were grossly polluted and the dumping grounds for murders. I’d go ocassionally with a friend and you’d see drunk complete scumbag adults fishing as well with their shirts off.
You’d be completely insane to eat anything out of these lakes.
Some people also had parents who owned boats. So they’d go fishing with their fathers on the boat. On nicer lakes.
We’d sometimes go on vacation to some cabins out in the woods. There would be a lake there and I’d go fishing with my father on a little boat. I could never remove the fish from the hook. My father would have to do that. Even now I couldn’t do it so I appreciate the disgusting nature of fishing but it’s something that I think most people have done. I know that Erin is from fabulous Los Angeles but…what has she done? Nothing.
There was another vacation where we went to a carp farm. And you were able to fish in this carp farm. It was just a pool with a bunch of carp in it. And you’d very quickly catch a fish and the woman who worked there would take the carp, remove it from the hook, and beat it over the head with a club until it stopped moving.
It wasn’t a traumatic event but looking back, why wasn’t it? What the fuck was that place? Why did a carp farm even have fishing? This isn’t what carp farming is. And why would anybody want to catch their own fish this way? This isn’t sporting. It’s just a pool of hungry fish. You catch a fish within minutes.
And what did we even do with the fish? I don’t know. I don’t fucking eat fish. I never have. Maybe the rest of the family ate them. I don’t know. But that’s fucked up. Some woman just beating fish to death. I know that that’s the job of a carp farmer (I guess) but why bring tourists into this? Are abattoirs popular tourist destinations?
Back to Miss Plays.
Erin writes down Fishing Derby. She wants to make a Youtube video on this. Great! What a gamer!
35:00 – They’re playing Real Sports Volleyball. Mike won the first game 15-0. Unbelievable.
41:00 – The second game was more competitive. Mike won 20-19. I don’t even think he particularly was trying to throw the game. He seemed determined to win. Kind of sad that he felt the need to curb stomp Erin in Real Sports Volleball.
At some point around the 46 minute mark they started talking about a Mr Rogers episode that they recently watched and found disturbing. Why are they watching Mr Rogers’ Neighborhood? How fucking creepy is that? Two middle aged people watching a show for pre-schoolers.
50:15 – Mike asks Erin if she ever ate “ice cream cone cereal”. She says, “No, I wasn’t alive for that.” Mike says, “See, I’m old so I ate that.”
What the hell is he talking about? Ice cream cone cereal? Let me look this up.
https://www.mrbreakfast.com/cereal_detail.asp?id=207
Introduced in 1987. Well, the year checks out but no, I’ve never seen this. Never heard of it.
Here’s a cereal story for you. For the past two weeks, I’ve been eating a bowl of Fruit & Fibre every day. On the box, it says “fuels a healthy gut” and there’s a picture of intestines or something. I’m not even making this up. It’s disgusting. Why would they put that on that box of cereal?
By the way, in the UK there are a lot of references to “gut” and they’re talking about poop. Like there was a yogurt commercial that always played and it was the same thing about having a healthy “gut”. I don’t think that they use this term in the US in this sense and certainly not in relation to marketing food. It’s fucking gross. The marketing geniuses in the US have more sense than this.
But gross or not, it’s accurate. My stool is straight up liquid now. Whether this is healthy or not, I’m not actually sure but I can confirm that the fiber or “fibre” is certainly doing something in my “gut”.
Fucking scumbag marketers. Worry about your own poop. Don’t put that on the fucking box as a selling point.
Anyway, I’m stopping at 51:15. A horntard suggested that Erin make a video of Atari games based on cartoons or comics. So they’re about to play Smurfs. It’s Mike’s suggestion, of course. Erin has no idea what the games on Atari are.