Gamer Girls

Let me start by saying that I’m going to be as sensitive as possible. I know that Newt reads the blog. I also know that he didn’t mean for this video to be in any way offensive. But the fact is that this was just another weird, self-obsessed, sexual video from The Ideas Man. His friend died and yet the video is all about him and all of the sexy time that he had with this woman. Even the fucking thumbnail is tits and gore bullshit.

0:30 – Newt starts the video by talking about how this woman was getting chemotherapy and they would talk to each other. Thirty seconds into the video, he says, “She would shit talk people who were fucking with me or people from my old life and stuff like that.”

It’s all about him. This woman died and the first thing he talks about is how this woman would defend him against the fags on Reddit and fucking Horseface and Tony. Who cares?

You’d think that with somebody dying, it might put things into perspective, about how insignificant Reddit and Horseface drama is. No. It’s the first thing that he talks about.

0:45 – “We talked about all of the movies that we were going to make.”

Now he’s talking about his delusional movie plans.

You know what might have been interesting? Talking about what this woman was interested in. What her hopes and dreams are. Not fucking Newt’s hopes and dreams.

Then he starts talking about how this woman did the makeup for Swamp Zombies 2.

I mean…why does it all have to be about Newt? I know that he’s giving a personal account of this woman so he has to somehow be involved in the story. But why is it all just about shit that he’s promoting or that he’s obsessed with? What about a story about the delicious muffins that this woman would make and they would share? That would be a touching story and totally appropriate. No. Just what dumb projects of Newt’s has this woman had some involvement in.

1:15 – “She was one of — she was the first love of my life. We met on my birthday in 2002. I used to run a comic book store in (some mall) in South Jersey. My grandfather passed away on my birthday. My dad’s dad. I didn’t know him very well.”

Newt…this is not about you and your hangups. This is about your friend who died. Can you get on with it, please?

“I couldn’t get anybody to cover for me. So I was at work and these two girls came in. I just started making conversation with them. I thought the one was adorable. She had a little crooked tooth.”

Newt…IT’S WHOLLY INAPPROPRIATE. In 2002, Newt was about 20. I looked it up and I think that this woman was about two years younger than Newt. So anyway, he’s implying that the other woman wasn’t attractive so he went after the attractive one. And he gives this creepy ancedote about her teeth. What the fuck is this?

But it gets worse. MUCH worse. Just hold on.

“We talked for quite a while in the mall. And then I followed her around like a lost puppy after that.”

This girl that he just met. In the mall. Okay. I know that he was only like 20 and she was, let’s just say 18, but it’s still creepy. It’s somebody who he just met. In a comic book store in the mall.

2:15 – “So she kept coming into the mall. On Halloween, she came in dressed as (somebody). Then when the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake came out, that was like our first date. We went to go see that. And then I went to her house for the first time.”

I assume that this is all happening on the same day. After the movie, he went to her house. You might think, “Well, maybe it was an innocent thing. They just talked about their shared passion for tits and gore movies.” No. Hold on. The Ideas Man is building the creep story.

2:45 – “So we were together for quite a while. She was the first person who ever told me that she loved me.”

Uh huh.

“I didn’t have a family who was very affectionate. This is stupid. I’m a 41 year old man. It shouldn’t matter but…”

Then he tells the story from two years ago when he was in the hospital and asked his mother why she never said that she loves him. He’s told this story before.

Newt…IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR HANGUPS. THIS IS ABOUT THIS FRIEND OF YOURS WHO DIED.

Imagine this guy giving the fucking eulogy. It would be all about Shark Vampire and how Horseface doesn’t talk to him any more. This woman’s family would have Newt physically removed from the premises. It’s disgraceful.

3:15 – “Cristay used to tell me to write. She was an actress. She was a model when she was younger. I still have all of her modeling pictures in a photo album.”

Eugh. Technically, this is about this woman but really, it’s about Newt about how he’s had sex with all of these hot model/actresses. And he still keeps her modeling pictures in his personal spank bank. We don’t need to know this.

3:30 – “I lost my virginity to her.”

This is the part that I was waiting for. This is where I turned the video off when I was watching this just for “fun”. It’s fucking vile. Why on earth would he think that it’s appropriate to share this information?

“But she was my sounding board. She was my editor.”

It’s all about Newt. What did this woman do for Newt. Well, she listened to his shitty ideas, she did editing work for him, and she fucked him.” He’s not said ANYTHING about this woman yet. We don’t know ANYTHING about her. All that we know is about stuff that this woman did for Newt.

Then he gives some creepy, embarassing, superficial, insulting stories like when she laughed, it sounded like a seagull.

4:00 – “She was the person who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with but I messed a lot of shit up. One of the downsides of how much she loved me and how much she told me that I was good at this, that, and the other thing is that it built my confidence in a bad way and I started giving my attention to other women and spending time with other people.”

Newt thinks it’s important that you know exactly how much this hot model/actress loved him, and would tell him how awesome he was. Then he goes on to say that he dropped this hot model/actress for Horseface.

I don’t want to watch this any more. I don’t know who this woman was. I assume that if she was hanging out with Newt that she was, with respect, a scumbag. But nobody deserves such a disrespectful video as this.

And this is somebody who he’s never talked about before. Not once. Now that she’s dead, he releases this revolting video. It’s just another example of his obsession with death. Death and Newt Wallen. Those are his two obsesssions. This video combines both of his passions.

6:00 – Newt starts talking about how he got cancer in 2006, this caused him to lose his job, and for some reason it caused him to no longer talk to this woman’s friend group. They had a mutual friend group. He stopped talking to this woman years earlier, by the way. So he says that he had to start over and find new friends and he compares this to what happened a few years ago when he lost his job at Screenwave for massive plagiarism.

We’re still talking about Cristay, right? No. We haven’t even started talking about Cristay. This is all about Newt.

7:00 – Then he says that he met Horseface.

Newt…what about your friend Cristay who just died? Do you want to say a few words about her? A few non-creepy words?

No. He just wants to talk about himself. This is every fucking video. He’s completely self-obsessed.

Then he says that Horseface took the position of Cristay. It’s just so shameful. Can I stop the video? I’m trying to give him a chance to say SOMETHING about this woman but it’s also extremely off-putting when he’s just fucking talking about himself the whole time.

7:45 – Now Newt briefly mentions that he was dating Justin Silverman’s sister when he was living in Arizona. What on earth does any of this have to do with Cristay?

Then Newt says that when he returned to New Jersey or rural Pennsylavania or where ever he lived, he got a message from Cristay that she broke up with her husband. She got married and had a child, by the way. He mentioned that in passing earlier. And he says that Cristay said that she heard about this show Underbelly that Newt was doing with Justin Silverman.

Newt…IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. He’s going to tell us about how fucking great Underbelly was now. And how much this woman loved Underbelly and wanted to have sex with Newt.

8:00 – So he goes on a date with this woman. He says that they went to his car and talked until the sun came up. Then he says, “All the anger and the animosity and everything was gone. It was just — it brought me right back to those times when we used to…you know…when we were together.”

He’s literally talking about the times when he had sex with this hot model/actress.

Newt. I’ve given you every chance in the world. I’m turning this off now. It’s completely disgraceful. You should be deeply ashamed of yourself. This woman deserved better than to know a piece of shit like you.