It’s an ad. He got paid to make this video by this company.
Wait…he says in the description, “This video is not sponsored or endorsed and I paid for it myself.” Well, I guess all we can do is take his word for it. But I’m sceptical.
It’s a company who takes a bunch of pictures of you in a 3d fashion and then turns these images into a little figure. I went to their website to look for the prices of these things and instead I was greeted with bizarre videos that automatically played on each page and constant hammering to get you to become an “entrepreneur” by starting a franchise. They actually suggest that retired people use their life’s savings for this shit. It’s $150,000 to start a “franchise”, which consists of a trailer filled with cameras.
How fucking creepy is this? Some old man driving around town asking people to get into this trailer so that he can take dozens of pictures of them.
So no. I’m going to pass on this franchising “opportunity.” I did continue my sleuthing and discover that the prices are $100 for a four inch figure and $300 for a nine inch figure.
Totally not worth it. At least I don’t find it to be a good use of money. Three hundred bucks for a shitty statue of yourself? What’s the point? This is a particular type of bizarre vanity.
If you’re a vain person, I can understand wanting your essence to be immortalised. But with this? A shitty plastic statue? No, I’m going to go for a painting. Or I’ll go to a photographer and get some professionally done photos and have them printed on glossy, high-quality paper stock and put in a nice frame.
Not this fucking nerd shit that nobody cares about.
0:45 – John Riggs is at some nerd convention where this photo trailer is. And he’s talking to a young woman and he holds up a statue of this woman. She works for this company or she’s a franchisee or…I don’t know. But she’s trying to sell people on the product.
John Riggs: Is it weird seeing yourself in toy form, I guess?
Woman: It’s interesting, I would say. Yeah.
John Riggs: Do you ever get self-conscious like, “Oh really? That’s what my hair looks like?”
What a smooth operator John Riggs is.
Wait a minute. Maybe there’s more to this clumsy attempt at conversation than I originally thought. Maybe John Riggs is using the “negging” technique to try to pick up the ladies. You know, the idea is that women are so used to receiving ass-licking comments from horny guys that if you do the opposite, by lightly insulting them, you stand out and establish yourself as an alpha. You reverse the tables. Instead of you trying to impress the woman, the woman is now trying to impress you.
This is next level stuff from John Riggs. I just wasn’t expecting it. Nor was the woman. That’s the idea. I have no doubt that John Riggs later had sex with this woman. Perhaps they even did it in the photo trailer and he now has a nine inch statue of him bending this woman over and giving it to her.
2:45 – So John Riggs is now in this photo trailer. The retired guy who’s operating this franchise says that he loves John Riggs’ hat. John Riggs says, “I’ll leave the hat on. The bald spot might get too much glare here.”
What bald spot? HE’S COMPLETELY BALD! Typical late-stage male pattern baldness in the horseshoe pattern.
By the way, this photographer is pretty creepy. As photographers tend to be. And this guy is driving this trailer around town like he’s a fucking ice cream man and asking kids to get in so that he can take 180 pictures of them.
I know that it’s not actually like that. I don’t think that he’s actually driving around town and just hoping that people off the street want to pay $300 for a shitty plastic statue of themselves. But I guess that he could do that.
4:45 – Then John Riggs pushes the franchising opporunities of this business.
I don’t see this taking off. Call me crazy. But I’m going to spend my $150,000 elsewhere.
5:00 – He shows the figure but…either the camera refuses to focus or this is really shitty. Could be both.
So that’s the video. He says that he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with them. Well, yeah. That’s the problem . Shove them up your ass, I guess. You just bought a $300 dildo.
I’m still thinking about creepy photographers. We would take pictures every year in school. Everybody had to get their portrait taken for the yearbook. And you could buy prints.
Anyway, this photographer had a list of cartoon characters that he would use. “Come on, Bam Bam. Smile.” “Come on Scrappy Doo. Smile.” Shit like this. And then we’d always ask each other what name the photographer called us.
Then in high school, I went to some guy and he kept insisting that I have to smile. This was for my senior picture. We had to go, at our own expense, and in our own free time, to this guy’s studio. And he keeps hassling me to smile. I knew full well that a smiling picture of me looks like shit. So I wouldn’t do it. But the guy flat out refused to take the fucking picture until I smiled. So I gave a ridiculous smile and now my senior picture is immortalised in the yearbook looking like complete shit.
How could he take a picture like that? And I looked at the other pictures in the yearbook…not everybody was smiling. So he’s perfectly capable of taking a picture of somebody who isn’t smiling. Why didn’t he do it in my case?
Anyway, fuck that guy. He’s probably dead now.
He’s much fatter in real ife than the 3D figure.
I was just about to say. He’s doing that typical fat loser thing where he makes his pfp skinnier or more muscular than he is in real life.
But no, you’re still a fat loser dude. It’s actually more embarrassing that you made the effort too.
Come on. Really? Is there any proof that the people who made this statue took the time to make John Riggs look slimmer? He even says in the video that he should have sucked his gut in for the picture. I assume that the figure is an accurate depiction of John Rigg’s physique.