Gamer Girls

0:00 – “So McDonald’s is continuing to ride off of the adult Happy Meal that they did back in October.”

That’s quite a stretch. Eight months. Doesn’t seem particularly related to me.

1:00 – Newt is just talking about McDonaldland characters in the McDonald’s parking lot as an American flag majestically waves in the background and a US Mail truck drives past. It’s interesting that they still use those little cars.

Then he briefly talks about those McDonalds play areas that they used to have in the restaurants.

Yeah, I went to them. I remember that Officer Big Mac jail that he’s talking about. It was cool. It’s the only thing that I really remember. I think that there were a couple of those shitty ride on toys that have a huge spring at the base that allows you to move back and forth but those things are both boring as fuck and scary as fuck. They don’t look safe, it seems like that spring can break at any time, and who cares anyway? All it does is go back and forth a little.

But the jail was cool. You climb in there and…I don’t know. It’s just a confined space. Kind of claustrophobic but not enough to enduce panic.

1:30 – So anyway, there’s a purple milkshake for this promotion.

1:48 – Ooh. Some MILF walks by. Actually, I don’t know if she’s a MILF or not. She’s not in focus.

2:15 – Newt says that the milkshake tastes like Fruity Pebbles and…it’s alright, he guesses.

This is every food review that he does. I mean, it’s true. How many times are you dazzled or outraged by food? But I don’t know. I think that a food reviewer has to be a little more passionate about food.

I went to one of those birthday parties at McDonald’s before. I might have been in the second grade. Something like this. And I have a hazy memory of people really wanting to have their birthdays at McDonalds. Like it was a big deal.

I thought that it was lame as fuck, though. I knew that something wasn’t right about it. Having your birthday in some corporate environment. All of the stupid little games were McDonalds-themed. It takes place in just some room in the rear of the restaurant. It’s weird. Why was this even happening? Why would they build the restaurant with this room in mind? Because it takes up a lot of space. Were these parties really that profitable?

And I know that it’s a way to make people continue to go to McDonalds into adulthood because they have *nostalgic* memories of the parties but I don’t know. Could it really be that effective? Well, we have 40 year old Newt Wallen doing a video on a milkshake and McDonalds is extremely profitable so maybe they’re on to something.