Taylor Swift – PARODY – We Are Never Ever Gonna Win With Andy – Newt Wallen

Newt tweeted about this. As here:

“EaglesNation vs #ChiefsKingdom #SuperBowlLVII remember that time I produced that music video that went #viral about then #philly coach #AndyReid for @SportsRadioWIP”

You just need a few more hashtags and at symbols in there, Ideas Man.

But do I remember? No. Of course not.

So I watched the video. Then I watched the video that they’re parodying. As here:

Warning: that Taylor Swift is EXTREMELY gay. I have no idea bow anybody can listen to that shit. I made it about halfway through and then skipped around.

As for the parody video that Newt allegedly “produced” (whatever that even means) it seems to follow the source material quite closely. The woman looks like Taylor Swift. Whoever is singing sounds like Taylor Swift. So…that’s good, I guess.

I think that Justin Silverman is playing the coach. And at the 1:05 mark, that’s Horseface, right? I think that they’re using at least three different women for the singer. Am I crazy? If this is right, it’s a bizarre artistic choice. Is this referencing something or could they just not get this first woman to film enough scenes?

So what is this thing referencing? From a DuckDuckGo search, there was a coach for the Philadelphia Eagles gridiron team named Andy Reid. And apparently people were unhappy with his performance.

God. Who cares? Who cares about local sports teams? Go team!

I never got it. What always bothered me is that none of the people on the team are even from the area. If it was a team comprised of, say, people who were from Philadelphia taking on a team where the people were comprised from, say, people from Kansas City, I would get it. Somewhat, anyway.

It would be like the Olympics, I guess. You’re supposed to have a strong connection to the country in order to represent that country in the Olympics. So I can see getting behind that. The nationalism. My country produces better speed skaters than your country, therefore my country is better than yours.

But with these fucking “local” sports teams, you’re just cheering for billion dollar companies where the millionaire players are from where ever. So what’s the significance? The athletes probably don’t even like your town. They’re just there temporarily because they’re getting paid to play on the team. When they get transferred, they’ll happily move and never return. They spit on your shitty town.

And sports are supposed to be like the ultimate heterosexual male activity. No. No fucking way. It’s the complete opposite. Sports are fucking gay. All of them. Man on man action? No, thanks. It’s deeply homoerotic. A bunch of sweaty young men, often in little short pants, trying to impose their will on other men. Okay, you boys can you enjoy that stuff. I’m going to spend some time with the ladies instead.

Also, they’re just stupid and totally meaningless. I don’t think that I have to rehearse the whole list of reasons why professional sports are a cancer on society. I think that we all know the reasons.

Anyway, Newt is taking credit for this video. What exactly did he do? He says that he was the “producer”. What a producer do? Let me look this up.

“They are the overall decision makers. Producers will come up with story ideas and hire writers or choose and secure rights to scripts.”

So…Newt hired somebody to write the song. I guess. That’s it? He wants to get credit for that?

You’re missing out, Newt, but not because of your fast food choices.

Holy shit. They do have Popeyes in the UK. Mostly in London. It won’t be the same, though. It never is. There’s different ingredients or something.

I might have had Popeyes a few times when I was a kid but I don’t remember much about it. I didn’t like fried chicken. I still don’t. It’s fucking gross. Biting into veins and whatnot.

I had a chicken wrap today from a diner. I don’t mind chicken in wrap form. I was the only person in that place. Chicken wrap, fries, and a can of Coke for like £6. It’s about what you’d pay at a fast food place, if not less. And I’m helping a local businessman. A mom and pop operation. Not lining the pockets of some multinational corporation.

I went to another diner a couple of weeks ago. Again, I was the only one there. Really limited menu. But I got a hamburger, fries, and a can of soda for £5.50. They asked if I wanted any sauce. I said, “Yeah, ketchup please.” And they brought a big industrial-sized bottle of Heinz ketchup. I thought it was a little weird. You expect one of those little red bottles or something but no. But whatever. It worked.

At another diner, a guy came in and started asking the proprietor how large his chicken breasts are. He was told to get out. They started yelling and shit. And the guy asking this was probably in his 50s. It wasn’t some kid trying to be funny.

And these places will cook whatever you want. I always just go off the menu, but sometimes they’ll encourage me to go nuts. “Whatever you want, I’ll make it.” This is service. You don’t get this from fast food places.

Fast food places are always full of scumbags too. Who needs it? You go to an independent place and the food is better, the ambiance is better, the price is comparable, and you’re supporting local business. What’s not to like? I haven’t been to a McDonalds or Burger King or whatever in fucking ten years.

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