I GOT CAST IN A HORROR MOVIE (XXX-MAS) – Newt Wallen

Newt’s here talking with James Dean. Over Skype. Not James Dean the long-dead actor. And not James Deen the guy who does porn. This is James Dean, the total nobody who only made one movie in his life. And it was shit.

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm12263458/

Why wouldn’t he change his fucking name? We already have a James Dean. He couldn’t be Jimmy Dean either because of the country music superstar/talk show host/sausage magnate.

What about Jimbo Dean? That would work.

So let’s watch this fucking terrible shit. A fucking Skype call.

0:15 – “My name is James Dean. Not the porn star. Not the 50s dead guy. I’m James Dean…this James Dean.”

The James Dean with no charisma. Fine.

So the guy is aware of the problem but is continuing to use the name.

I mean…he’s just some guy making movies in his basement. He’s not some Hollywood big shot. So I guess there’s no need to change his name. But what if XXX-Mas becomes the next Blair Witch Project? Of course it won’t but he’s obviously not even striving for that.

Then Newt says, “That porn star got really into the old Youtube channel I used to do, Underbelly. James Deen, he loved our Beauty and the Beast one where we sang at the end. It was really bizarre.”

Uhh…what? Let’s just move on. I don’t care if this is truth or not.

0:45 – Jimbo Dean is giving the plot (such as it is) of the movie. Santa Claus killing porn stars. Uh huh. This guy better clear his mantle of those Voltron figures to make way for his Oscar award.

1:30 – Newt says, “When I first heard of this movie, I was like, ‘Cast me in your movie. I love slasher movies and I love porn. What else is there?'”

Acting talent? Acting experience?

Here’s the IndieGoGo, by the way:

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/xxx-mas-christmas-slasher-film#/

They’ve raised about 60% of their $30,000 goal. And unlike that Newt Wallen project with that prostitute, this is a fixed goal. So if they don’t reach the goal, they don’t get any money. I guess that’s how it works. I’ve never given any money on IndieGoGo because I’m not fucking retarded.

And I guess that this is being filmed in this guy’s hometown of St Louis. Probably the film capital of Missouri.

So who are the stars of this thing going to be? Felissa Rose. You guys know Felissa Rose, right?

She was in some shitty horror films that nobody has ever seen. And she’s fifty-three years old. She’s, presumably, going to play a porn star in this thing. A 53 year old porn star. We can all look forward to that.

Drew Marvick is going to be playing Santa Claus. You might know him better as that meth addict who wanders around the 7-11 parking lot.

Dolly Leigh is also in this. Oh, she actually does do porn. All of her stuff on XVideos dot com seem to be incest-themed. Because she has small breasts. But this is just, with respect, an unattractive woman. This woman should not be doing porn. She needs to find something that’s right for her. This shit isn’t it.

According to her Twitter, which I won’t link to but you can easily find, she’s a “former porn star.” Well, that’s a step in the right direction. But she’s on OnlyFans. No. Nobody wants this.

By the way, this is a horse-faced woman with red hair. This is clearly Newt’s type. But how many other people can possibly have this bizarre fetish for women who look like Rocky Dennis?

Jonathan May is also playing a porn star. There’s no information on the internet about this guy. He has a short video on that IndieGoGo page which is…bizarre on many levels. He’s just some fucking crackhead.

Jessa Flux will also be playing, presumably, a porn star. I think that there are only two roles in this movie: Santa or a porn star. She was in a few zero budget movies that nobody has ever heard of before.

She has an Instagram account where you can see photos of this chubby woman that are heavily, heavily, MASSIVELY filtered. Newt would look sexy if he used this many filters.

She’s also on OnlyFans, of course. Will any of the pictures look remotely like a human being or will they all just be run through ten filters?

She’s also on Tiktok. She has 1,000 followers. She’s a superstar.

You’re wasting your life with this shit, madam. It’s not going to get any better if you continue down this path.

Speaking of people wasting their lives, let’s get to The Ideas Man.

Newt is just talking about all of the big projects that he’s working on. Because Newt is really in demand. Everybody wants a piece of The Ideas Man. 2023 is the Year of Newt. Horseface is going to go crying back to him.

Too bad that he couldn’t get a decent webcam. Why is the video quality so fucking bad? Jimbo Dean’s video quality is okay. But Newt’s is total shit.

3:15 – “In the last year, I’ve sold 11 screenplays.”

This is just an example of the sort of shit he’s saying. He keeps fucking talking about himself and what a big superstar he is in the “Indie film community”.

First of all, it’s delusional.

Secondly, THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU, NEWT! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Jimbo Dean is here to promote his shit. Not listen your fucking delusions. Newt can not stop talking about himself. It’s impossible.

4:30 – Jimbo Dean says, “If you don’t mind, can we talk about the cast a little bit?”

He actually had to ask permission. He had to interrupt Newt because Newt just continually talks about himself. Absolutely no social awareness.

Let’s remind ourselves of the situation. Jimbo Dean hired Newt to appear in Jimbo’s shitty little horror movie. In a sense, Jimbo is the boss. Jimbo is the big director. Newt is just an actor. An actor with absolutely no acting experience. Jimbo Dean is doing a favour for Newt by doing this. Because Newt isn’t a fucking actor.

So to thank this guy for giving him a role in his shitty little movie, Newt invites Jimbo to do this video on Newt’s little-watched channel. The idea is CLEARLY so that this guy can promote his movie. Instead, Newt just talks about himself and how great he is.

Now when this guy asks to talk about the movie, WHICH WAS THE WHOLE POINT OF HIM AGREEING TO THE VIDEO, Newt looks bored as fuck. He can barely keep his selfish head up. Newt just wanted to talk about himself some more.

6:30 –

Jimbo: Jessa Flux. I think that she’s been in a couple of Donald Farmer —

Newt: Yeah. She’s been in a couple of things that I’ve written, actually.

He has done this CONSTANTLY. Throughout the entire six and a half minutes so far. He just keeps talking about how he knows all of the actors in this guy’s movie because Newt is a fucking bigshot who wrote thousands of films. Not a single one of which Newt has ever promoted.

Well, let’s just look at Newt’s IMDB. He has a page, right?

https://www.imdb.com/name/nm2506350/

His latest credit is Monster Madness. We won’t discuss that.

He’s also credited for James Rolf VS Time. Those faggots on Reddit are really pissing themselves over that one.

Swamp Zombies 2. Newt has talked about that one a lot. He’s given credit here as a writer. That was in 2018.

Midnight Show. This was never released, as far as I’m aware.

Then a couple of shorts that were probably never released.

Then four episodes of Underbelly. This was Justin Silverman’s Youtube channel.

Then Silvermania. This was another Justin Silvermania Youtube channel.

Then The League of Science. Whatever that is. Allegedly a tv series. This was in 2011. Probably on Public Access or something.

That’s it. Those are his credits.

Show me the thousand movies, Newt. Just fucking name them. Then I’ll go watch them on Netflix or DailyMotion or wherever these alleged films can be found.

What was the movie that he wrote that Jessa Flux starred in? We want to know. And why isn’t he credited for it on IMDB?

He’s a fake writer who writes fake movies for fake actors. That’s what this is. Everybody involved in all of this shit is living in Cloud Cuckoo Land.

It’s like when James Rolfe talks about having made 500 movies or whatever. What he’s saying has a tiny kernel of truth. He made 500…something. Five hundred child home videos and shit for Youtube like Top Ten Steve Urkel Moments or whatever. But films? No.

But James Rolfe believes this. Because James Rolfe is fucking retarded.

How do we explain Newt believing that he’s a prolific movie writer in spite of the fact that he has AT BEST one semi-legitimate credit? How do we explain some fucking fat chick with 1000 followers on TikTok claiming to be an actress?

They’ve done something. Newt knew a guy who wrote a shitty little indie film and Newt pitched the guy a line and the guy said, “That’s pretty good. I might use it” but then didn’t. Newt now considers that he “wrote” that movie.

Or that fat chick was in some student film and they took her to KFC afterwards and now she considers herself to be the next Marilyn Monroe.

These people are out of their fucking minds. They’re unemployed. That’s the reality. Not big time players in Hollywood. Unemployed.

8:00 – Now Jimbo is talking about how XXX-Mas will be a vehicle to expand people’s minds. It’s going to be a movie about how people shouldn’t look down on porn stars. “Sex work is work”. XXX-Mas is really going to change how society views porno sluts.

Then Newt…you’ll never guess. What do you think Newt talked about?

HIMSELF! And how he knows loads of porn stars in person. Because Newt is a bigshot. He’s a real mover and shaker in the rural Pennsylvania film industry.

Newt. Get your shit together and stop making these videos. It’s not helping with your mental health. I’m done with this shit. It’s making me nauseous.

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