She played this game once, on stream, for money. Let me check the archives.
Yeah. It was a two hour stream. So she played this game two hours in her entire life. She just commented on all of the cute fruit and vegetable enemies.
So now she’s playing with Mike. She loves this game. It’s where her heart is. She played it once in her life.
0:00 – “It’s been a while but we’re back home.”
Oh yeah. She was visiting her parents yet again. I would say that she’s with her parents about 1/3 of the year. It really suggests that she’s not happy with this sugarbaby thing.
“I have streamed this before. I’ve played it before. Obviously.”
Yeah. That one time when you streamed it. And that was the only time that you played it. But Erin loves creating the illusion that she plays video games in her spare time. She never comes out and says that but she implies it constantly.
“But it’s been a while so I might be a little rusty.”
No…Erin…listen. You only played this game one time in your life. So “rusty” is a clearly misleading term. “Rusty” suggests that you used to be able to play the game at a high level and now, given the time that’s elapsed since you’ve last played it, your skills might have diminished.
But that’s not what happened here. You’ve only played this game one time in your entire miserable life. And it was briefly. On stream. For money. You were NEVER good at the game. You never put enough time into the game to get good. So it’s not rust. It’s shit. You’re shit at the game. You’re shit at the game because you’re a complete novice at the game. You have almost no experience with the game.
Why can’t she just be honest? For once in her fucking life? People read the blog. Does she think that the horntards don’t know about the blog? Those retards can read. Some of them. Probably. Or they can have somebody read it to them. We all know about this fucking con. We all know that you don’t play video games in your spare time. It’s fine. NOBODY FUCKING CARES. The issue is the blatant dishonesty.
0:15 – “So we’re probably going to suck at first but then we’ll get better. At least that’s the ideal goal.”
Then the game starts and Erin says, “Okay. How do I do this?”
This is what I’m talking about. She doesn’t know ANYTHING about the game. She only played it that one fucking time.
Here’s how the stream should have began. “I’m Erin. This is my sugardaddy Mike. We’re going to play this game. I’ve only played it once. It was on stream. So I don’t know much about the game. Bear with me.”
Fine. It’s fine, Erin. We don’t care. But don’t insult our fucking intelligence with this bullshit about how you’re actually a pro gamer but you just “forget” everything. Because that’s not how it works. I can pick up a game that I played 20 years ago and still be able to do a respectable job at it. Because I put the hours in. Like a normal person. I don’t “forget” everything. I don’t have to be “reminded” of the controls or the central premise of the game.
Mike: You shoot the blue guys and then you make the ice cubes.
Erin: Oh, that’s right.
This is rust? She didn’t know the fundamental aspect of the game. It’s like picking up Super Mario Bros and saying, “What do I do here? Jump on the enemies? Oh right. I forgot.”
“I was thinking that you move these.” and she’s referring to what seem to be immobile rocks. Why doesn’t she know this stuff? Because she played the game one time in her life. Briefly. On stream, for money.
You’re playing Pac-Man. “What do I do here? Eat all of the pellets? Oh, that’s right. I forgot.”
Space Invaders. “What do I do here? Shoot all of the aliens? Oh, that’s right. I forgot.”
Fuck you, you fucking retarded, lying bitch. Even if she didn’t know this, why didn’t she just play the game for two seconds with her fucking mouth shut and figure it out? It’s not hard. There are two buttons. Press them. See what they do.
0:30 –
Mike: It’s like Gauntlet. There are like spawners.
Erin: Oh, yeah. That’s right.
Gauntlet is a game that Mike and Erin played recently, on stream, for money. That’s why he made this reference. Because he knows that the only things she “remembers” about video games are things that she recently played on stream, for money.
In case anybody needs this pointed out, she’s terrible at the game. She has no fucking idea what she’s doing. She doesn’t know the objective. She obviously therefore doesn’t have any strategy. She’s just doing random shit, not knowing what’s going on.
1:15 –
Mike: We don’t really know.
Erin: Yeah. We don’t remember anything.
You see the difference here? Mike came out and said, “We don’t know anything about this game.” Because that’s the correct word to use when you’ve barely played a game. You don’t “know” anything about it. This is information that you’ve never possessed. This is all new to you.
Erin, on the other hand, insisted that they don’t “remember” anything. This implies that they used to have the knowledge but now they don’t.
No. Erin is a fucking fraud. She’s a compulsive liar. I don’t know how Mike stands it. Kick that bitch out. Let her go back home to mama permanently. If you get lonely, call up Tony from Hack the Movies. He’s single. You guys can play video games together and whatever else you want to do. We’re living in modern times.
How much better was Mike and Tony Tuesdays than Erin and Mike Mendacity? Massively better.
1:30 – Erin says, “Anyway, this game is delightful but it gets kind of tricky.”
How does she know? She expressed a total lack of knowledge about this game. Zero. But somehow she knows what the later levels are like?
I mean, obviously the later levels are going to get more difficult. That’s the general nature of video games. The early levels are easy and as you continue playing, it becomes increasingly difficult.
But she doesn’t know this for a fact because knows nothing about the game. And there’s no reason to just say, in general terms, that games tend to get more difficult as the levels progress. We all know this.
“I like this little corn man. Isn’t he cute?”
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
“I’m the lord of the fantasy kingdom and I am wizard corn.”
Mike is not digging this. He gives her a look part-way through this awful, totally ignorant attempt to pretend that she knows something about video games or nerd shit or whatever, like he’s willing her to shut the fuck up. He knows that this all comes off as totally disingenuous. He knows that she comes off as a total fraud. Because she is a total fraud. And a terrible one at that. She’s a horrible liar. It’s blindingly obvious that this is all a scam.
1:45 – Mike changes the subject.
Mike: The guy that we’re playing as, I don’t think that I ever thought of this before, I think that he’s a snowman.
Erin: I don’t think that he’s a snowman. I think that he’s just a cute little guy who’s all bundled up. Maybe he’s a snowman but he doesn’t have a carrot nose.
It’s just…aside from the lies, which is basically everything that Erin says, she’s just horrible at conversation.
2:00 –
Mike: Look at that box art. What’s going on there?
Erin: (long pause) There’s lots going on.
See? IT’S AWFUL! She can’t contribute AT ALL to ANYTHING. She’s never done anything. She has absolutely no life experience. And she’s a total fucking moron. So this is what you get. Idiotic lies that are clearly lies and generic comments.
“What’s going on there? Oh, lots of stuff is going on.”
Uh huh. Like what, Erin? Do you want to say anything remotely witty or interesting? No? Just generic bullshit. Okay. That’s all that you’re capable of. That’s fine. But then don’t make fucking Youtube videos. Because the idea here is to entertain the audience. This shit is not entertaining.
2:30 – Somebody in the chat says that the character is George Costanza. Erin says, “Maybe but I don’t think so.”
Why not? Why don’t you think so, Erin? Do you want flesh out your answer or just give us your usual generic bullshit.
In case it needs to be pointed out, Erin never saw Seinfeld before. Not even a joke. Erin, who’s all about “the 90s” never saw the second most popular show of the decade. She also never saw Friends, which was the number one most popular show of the 1990s. I’m not making this up. She said this before. Let’s go to the Archives of Lies.
Mike references the “Dingoes ate my baby” line from Seinfeld. Erin is totally unfamiliar with it.
A horntard makes a reference to Jon Voight’s car. Erin has no idea what’s going on.
Then there’s this video:
Go to the 31 minute mark. A horntard asks, “Seinfeld or Friends?” Erin replies, “If I had to pick, I guess I’d say Seinfeld but I never really watched both. Friends makes me very…I hate that show.”
Right there. She doesn’t know who George Costanza is. She doesn’t have a fucking clue. She’s never seen the show. That’s why she just gave this generic answer. “It might be George Costanza but it probably isn’t.” Brilliant, Erin.
“That would be weird. Now I’m not going to think about anybody else but George…Costanza when I look at this guy.”
She had to stop and think of the character’s last name. SHE DOESN’T KNOW THE CHARACTER. She doesn’t even know that he’s from Seinfeld.
It’s like if somebody suddenly started talking about Malvolio. Trying to have a conversation with you about Malvolio. And instead of saying, “Who the fuck is Malvolio? Why are you talking about Malvolio?” you said, “Oh, yeah. Malvolio. I guess that the character does look a little like him. But it’s probably not him.”
You’re just pretending that you know who Malvolio is. It’s obvious. This is what Erin does all the fucking time. Because not only does she not know anything about the works of Shakespeare, she doesn’t know anything about ANYTHING.
3:00 – Mike says, “Have you guys played this game before?”
No, Mike. I haven’t.
See? See how easy that was, Erin? Honesty.
And what do you think is going to happen as a result? “OH THAT GAMER GRRLS GUY! HE’S A FAKE GAMER!”
No. Nobody cares. You’re not expected to play every fucking game. It’s okay. And we all know that you haven’t played ANY games. And that’s okay too. Just be fucking honest about it.
Mike: What do the P’s on the bottom do?
Erin: I don’t know.
(she takes one)
Erin: What did that do?
(she takes the other one)
Erin: Oh, that kills everything on screen.
She didn’t know this. She “forgot”. She’s “rusty”.
4:00 – Erin is reading from the chat. “You had a copy but you lost it? That sucks.”
Great chat, Erin. It’s just generic bullshit. You want to fucking engage with the horntards? Or tell your own stories about games that you lost?
She can’t. She can’t do either of those things. She’s incapable of having a conversation and she never had any games to lose.
4:15 – Erin says, “I like the background how it’s like a checkered…ummm.”
What? A grid? Like in so many other games of the era? Especially puzzle games? This is fucking…I’ll get to five minutes and then assess what I’m going to do.
Mike: There’s an arcade game called Pengu and you’re pushing blocks and I think that this is a little bit like that.
Erin: Yeah, maybe.
At least she gave a noncommittal reply. Because she clearly doesn’t know what Pengu is. Or Kickcle Cubicle for that matter.
5:30 – Then Mike reads the Wikipedia article about Kickle Cubicle. Not even joking. And he sees that it was originally an arcade game.
Mike: I don’t remember it being in arcades. Is it Japan only?
Erin: I’m sure.
What the fuck is she basing this opinion on? She has no idea what any of this is. She didn’t even know that there was an arcade game. Why is she so confident that this game was only released in Japan?
“Because this is, like, good.”
Well…I think that we’ve reached a natural stopping point. Erin’s reason for why this game was probably a Japanese exclusive is because it’s “like good.” She seems to be under the impression that no good arcade games were ever released in the North American market.
What can I even say to that? She doesn’t have a fucking clue. About anything.
So what are we going to do about this? It’s a two hour video and I only got to 5:40. HA! 5.40! Like that thing that James Rolfe said five years ago! All of the retards from Reddit are trying to compose themselves now.
Am I going to do a part two? I still haven’t finished the Crazy Castle video. I only got to part 3 out of 16. I just couldn’t watch that shit any more.
Well, I’ll just leave it here for now. Maybe I’ll come back to this video, maybe I won’t. But we need closure on this arcade question. Was it only released in Japan? I’m guessing no.
https://www.arcade-museum.com/game_detail.php?game_id=8666
“The game was released in the US for both the Arcade and NES as “Kickle Cubele”.”
So I guess it was released in the US?
But the only playthroughs I can find are the Japanese game. Like here:
Somebody at World of Longplays would probably play the North American version if there was such a version.
So maybe Erin is right. Maybe it was a Japanese exclusive. Because the game is, like, good.
TheCinemassacreTruth lives in your head rent free. Mentioning it in some random blog post, that’s a little weird bro.
At least their memes stick unlike your “on stream, for money” thing.
I suspect that the majority of people who come here come from Reddit so they’d get the reference. Maybe I’m wrong, though.