OSW Awards 2022 | 8th Golden Noggers!

First a little background.

This is a wrestling podcast. They talked about old wrestling. Like early WrestleManias.

So I’d listen to it. It was fine. “Hey guys! Remember The Honky Tonk Man? I do remember The Honky Tonk Man”. Shit like this.

But then after they got through the first seven or whatever WrestleManias, they clearly ran out of ideas. They started reviewing Scooby Doo and shit. This is when I started to tune out.

What really made me stop listening, though, was the abhorrent racism sprinkled throughout every episode. And this is me saying this. This shit was too racist for me, somebody who sometimes makes comments that could be perceived as racist.

It was just disgusting, casual racism in these podcasts. I wish that I could give examples but I can’t remember any. I suppose the fact that they refer to their fans as “Noggers” and have a “Golden Nogger Award” is an example. This is a reference to them calling Virgil, a black former wrestler, a “nogger” due to his alleged resemblance to some Irish ice cream bar. And the “joke” was obviously a racist one.

I should mention that the three guys who do this podcast are Irish, which made it all the more unpleasant. These people have never seen a black person in their lives.

Later, they started “jokingly” referring to themselves as, “three racist Irish lads” or something, in reference to the comments that they would get calling them out for their racist behaviour.

Another unpleasant trait that these boys have is their unrelenting self-congratulatory bullshit. Every year, they give awards TO THEMSELVES. “Which one of our videos had the best editing? Which one had the best racist joke? Which one was the best overall?” Shit like this. They’re completely up their own ass.

I could not imagine going through my articles and picking out a “winner” every year. “Boy, this one was pretty funny. But this other one where I called Erin a lying bitch was also awesome. I just can’t decide.” Have some humility.

So let’s watch this piece of shit. I think that it will quickly become clear what I’m talking about.

For the first 90 seconds, it’s a montage of their “best” comments over the past year.

2:45 – So here are the categories. There are NINETEEN of them. Best original music, best song cover, best artwork, best animated segment, best intro, best episode, what bar of the year, favourite segment, state of your hair, best Nitro backstage blast axclusive, Roidy Magoo, cunt of the year, what a pittance, ARC MVP, best running gag, best Nogger U Axcloosiv, halle of fame.quote of the year.

Don’t know what half of that shit means? Neither do I.

3:45 – They’re going through the videos that they’ve released in the past year. Each one of these guys picked a topic that they wanted to do an episode on. Guess what? THEY WERE ALL AWESOME! According to these guys.

5:45 – They’re talking about the results of some vote for best…something. One of the guys says, “Oh, fine choice. That was a banger of an episode.”

Uh huh.

6:15 – Now they’re talking about covid. “We released a tonne of our Nogger U content, old and new. alongside our regular content to help people get through this horrendous time in the world.”

Apparently, they have videos that you can only get if you pay for Youtube Premium. Or something. But these guys are so generous, they care so much about saving lives, that they released some of these for free.

You know what? I didn’t watch any of those videos during the lockdown. And yet, somehow I survived. How did I do it? Well, I watched slightly less racist content instead. Like Birth of a Nation and the complete works of Stepin Fetchit.

9:15 – Somebody is complaining that Youtube has classed “cunt” as a “hate word”, “On the same level as the ‘N-word’ or the homophobic ‘F-word’. So it just means we can’t say ‘cunt’ any more. So I don’t know what’s going to happen with the editing of this.”

Well, maybe you can say “cont” instead. Problem solved.

11:15 –

Guy 1: Any overarching thoughts on how we’ve progressed with the show from watching our old stuff?

Guy 2: The show is much better. It’s much tighter. The slow growth of the show, it’s slicker. We’re definitely nicer now. We were way meaner back at the start. Holy fuck. We were just giving out about things. Maybe a couple of dozen episodes in, we did a total 360 and we began to, rather than look for faults to pick apart, we began to look for things that we love.

Okay. We get it. You’re awesome. There’s been nothing but improvement.

12:45 – They’re giving the Youtbe stats. View numbers. Top five most watched videos. They’re just complimenting their own work. “You talking about politicking in an e-fed is fabulous.” “We do a great job with all of the videos.”

20:30 – Best original music. I think that we can skip straight to the end. Let’s see these guys talk about their best video of the year.

Oh, it’s not even the last category.

48:15 – “Some great episodes here.” “I think Halloween Havoc is an amazing episode.”

God. I can’t. Aside from them sucking their own metaphorical dicks, this is just BORING.

What’s the last category? Quote of the Year. Great. “Hey, guys! What was the funniest thing I said last year? Cast your vote!”

1:52:30 – There’s actually a top ten list. Their top ten wittiest quotes from the past year. They laugh after every quote and slap each other on the back.

Anyway, I’m stopping here. Dogshit, boys. But they’re saving lives with their Scooby Doo reviews and racist jokes. Apparently. That’s what they think, anyway.

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