Oh, it’s the editor/intern from Screenwave/Hack the Movies. She has a Youtube channel. She’s had one for about six years. In the early days, she mostly “reacted” to anime. I guess. There’s a lot of anime shit here. I think that she might have been in high school during these so I’ll give this nerdy shit a pass.
But interestingly, she also had really short hair back then. But…she assures us that she’s not a lesbian. Really?
I’ll also mention a tweet of hers that I saw.
I have NO IDEA what that video is supposed to even be showing but that doesn’t matter. The point is that Jess over here likes sports. Specifically, football.
NOT a lesbian. Come on. How do you explain all of this if she’s not a lesbian? She’s just a heterosexual woman who enjoys sports and looking like a guy? It’s theoretically possible, I guess.
Anyway, she basically stopped uploading videos four years ago. But three months ago, she started up again. She’s still doing “reaction” videos but instead of “reacting” to anime, now she’s “reacting” to horror films. Eugh.
I’m not fucking interested in this horror bullshit. Why are all these people doing the exact same fucking thing? She likes anime. Why doesn’t she continue with anime? Do we need a billion channels dedicated to shit horror films?
Tony from Hack the Movies recently did a video on Black Christmas, like two days after Newt released a video on Black Christmas. This has all been done. The horror market is totally saturated. We don’t fucking care. Fuck these shit movies. How about reviewing good movies? Movies that normal, well-adjusted adults enjoy? No, let’s just keep doing this lowest common denominator bullshit.
So do you guys remember Nightmare on Elm Street? Well, yes but I never watched it. I never watched any of them. It’s shit. I don’t watch shit. Even as a child, that shit didn’t appeal to me. It certainly doesn’t appeal as an adult.
Well, Jess is going to “react” to it.
0:00 – She’s a Pokemon onesie. Uh huh. Let’s just move on. It’s a totally heterosexual woman in a onesie reviewing a horror film. What’s not to like? This is my thing.
1:30 – She counts to ten. This is riveting. What comes next? Come on…
She also makes a number of references to the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial. She really seems to hate Amber Heard. And I remember her tweeting about this a lot too. It’s weird. Who cares?
3:00 – She’s talking about a character having a small penis. What? Is this actually referenced in the film? If not, what is this?
She also regularly calls the characters “bitch”.
Okay, I made it to six minutes. I think that I’m good.
I’ll be kind and just say don’t quit your day job, Jess.
I’ve been enjoying your humourous shitting on movie reviewers, but really have you watched or like any movies?
Yeah. Plenty. No horror films, though. I don’t want that shit. I’m an adult. And even as a kid, I thought that that shit was lowbrow.
Easy Rider, French Connection II, Greetings, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Hoop Dreams, Glengarry Glen Ross, The Hustler, Roger & Me, Pulp Fiction, Slacker, The Brave Little Toaster, The Breakfast Club, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Once Upon a Time in the West, True Grit (1969), Seven Samurai, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, All Quiet on the Western Front (1930), Spinal Tap, Battle Royale, Inglorious Basterds, Trainspotting, This is England, Terminator 2, Ghost in the Shell (1995), The Deer Hunter, Taxi Driver, The Incident, A Big Hand for the Little Lady, Paper Moon.
There are loads. Every genre. Every decade.
But these fucking cretins insist on “reviewing” horror movies every fucking time. “Dur…here’s the scene where the guy got his head chopped off. It was so awesome. And here’s the next cool scene where somebody died in some horrible fashion.”
No healthy adult gives a shit about any of that. But they’re pandering to literal retards so these are the movies that they go for. And these “reviewers” aren’t too bright themselves so they just like these lowbrow movies.