Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtSXEDU4lJo

You know that things are desperate when I’m reviewing Pelvic Gamer stuff.

0:00 – Jump scare.

What the fuck is she doing with her hair?  This is terrible.  She didn’t even make an effort to get this looking presentable.  

She was attempting to put her hair into two large afros at the side of her head.  Why she would think that this would look attractive, I have no idea.  

But she didn’t even manage to do that.  Her hair is all over the place.  Didn’t she watch the video?  Didn’t she look in a mirror before making the video?

This is an unattractive woman.  But that’s not the issue.  Some people are more attractive than others.  

The issue is that, she goes out of her way to make herself look as unattractive as possible with this weird bullshit.  She’s always doing something stupid with her hair, she wears ridiculous makeup like blue lipstick, and she wears unflattering wifebeaters.  

She’s constantly trying to show how “African” she is, even though she’s a redneck from Florida who has a white mother.  But whatever.  Do something with your hair that’s actually popular with African-Caribbean women.  Because this isn’t it.  Black women are not going around with two messy afros on each side of their head. trying to look like Mickey Mouse.  Actually, this has a very Bozo the Clown look to it.  

0:15 – A graphic on screen says, “Thank you Mycroft for gifting me this game!”

The horntards are constantly “gifting” her games.  Why does she accept them?  She knows what they’re doing with this.  She knows what these people are like.  She’s taking advantage of very unfortunate men.

This is an RPG, by the way.  This is all that Pelvic Gamer does.  She just reviews boring as fuck RPGs.

1:00 – Now she’s going to give a summary of every playable character in the game.  There are 13 characters.  Come on.  I don’t give a fuck.

Fuck this.  I’m going to go make a sandwich.

I got completely side-tracked.  Watched about ten minutes of the latest Talking About Games.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW8uyxEXNms

It’s Ryan and Tony from Hack the Movies.  They got rid of Mike.  Presumably, because he was god awful in the previous episode.  That was the one where Ryan was talking about Final Fantasy and Mike just kept interrupting with off-topic bullshit because he doesn’t like Final Fantasy.

Anyway, I had to turn this Tony from Hack the Movies episode off.  It’s unwatchable.  I don’t want to hear him talking about Evil Dead for the billionth time.  No, it’s Resident Evil that he talks about.  Or am I thinking of Kieran?  I know that Kieran does this but Tony probably does as well.  I don’t give a shit about these horror games.  I don’t want to hear about it.  I’m like Mike in that Final Fantasy episode but at least I’m not getting paid for this.

So back to…eugh…Pelvic Gamer.

3:30 – Ew.

I just don’t want to see this.  Why would she go out of her way to make herself look as unattractive as possible?  Is it possible that she thinks that this looks good?  How?

Oh god is this boring.  She’s describing how the game plays.  I’m at seven minutes.

I can’t.  I made it to 8:00.  That’s enough.

– “the one day Pelvic wakes up and decides not to do her hair and she is still STUNNING”

Yeah.  No.

I’ll check her Twitter but I know for a fact that there won’t be anything interesting on there.  All she ever talks about is video games, mostly shit that she’s playing for the purposes of doing a Youtube video.

She retweets a video of a man being attacked by a bear at the circus, for some bizarre reason.

But otherwise, it’s all video game and Youtube shit.

She’s just so fucking boring.  What happened?  Maybe she started taking medication.  I mean, good for her, if that’s the case, but it’s bad for the blog.