https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1546645360826892288
He’s up to 8,000 subscribers on Youtube. Good for you, Newt. You’re a real superstar. Can you maybe stop these subscriber enumerations, though? Nobody gives a shit.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1546156581343076352
Oh my god. Then in the above link, which is older than the first one, Newt says that he only needs 45 subscribers to get to 8,000. Then he re-tweets a few people who re-tweeted this message. NOBODY GIVES A SHIT, NEWT. STOP THIS.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1546145460825505793
Here we go. Here’s the content that we want to see. Newt was at something called VHS Fest recently and he took a picture of himself with Florida Man Saves Christmas and a couple of young ladies dressed like skanks from the 1980s. Newt always seems to find the ladies. And pays them.
Then in the comments, Newt says that the comic will be available to the public in OCTOBER. This is like six months later than he initially said. We want the fucking comic, Newt. Can I at least get a review copy? I’m the only member of the press covering Newt Wallen.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1545897678256709637
Here’s another picture of Newt with some “sexy” ladies. There’s a woman carrying a fucking beach umbrella when there’s not a drop of rain in sight. This is to protect her from the sun? Is this what we’re supposed to believe? Couldn’t she find a smaller umbrella? Or get a hat? Or use sunscreen? Or any combination?
No. She wants all of the attention with her giant umbrella. In a crowded area.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1545745905172758537
“Okay. Movie idea. #80s style slasher where @RealCarrotTopstalks and kills young cringy comedians with various #comedy props at a shady improv retreat “SCARot Top” what do you think Hollywood”
He gives a shit movie idea about Carrot Top and he tags Carrot Top into the tweet. Like Carrot Top is going to give a shit. Carrot Top might not be as popular today as he was in the 1990s, but he’s nowhere near hungry enough to entertain The Ideas Man and his rock bottom movie ideas.
Newt doesn’t even have a script, but I guess that he can shit something out in two days. All that he has is an idea (tits and gore with Carrot Top) and a name: “SCARot Top”. It’s not even funny. And wouldn’t that be pronounced “scar-ot” as in the word “scar”? So the title doesn’t even work.
Oh, he actually addresses this in the comments. “Should be SCAREot Top. Damn autocorrect.”
That doesn’t work either. The “eo” combination doesn’t…work like that. Maybe “SCARE-ot Top”. But nobody is going to fucking do this anyway.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1544876031995248642
#theflintstones movie is bizarre. Fantastic set design. Awful story. Great casting except for Rosie. @halleberryas #sharonstone The boss from #LawAndOrderSVU as Mr Slate. #SamRaimi cameo. And a #richardmoll #elizabethtaylor #irwinkeyes congo line ? #the90s
Why does he always put so many hashtags in? It’s annoying. NOBODY is going to his tweets based on these fucking hashtags. “Oh, I’m going to to search for “#comedy” and see what comes up. Newt Wallen? Sounds interesting.”
And he tags Halle Berry into this stupid shit like she’s going to read this and fall in love with him and be his new muse.
And why is he even talking about The Flintstones Movie? He had nothing to say about it. “Good set, good casting, bad script.” Riveting stuff, Newt. Maybe if he didn’t cram ten hashtags in there, he could have expanded on his opinions a little.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1544726476783853570
“Hate all you want on @ThatKevinSmithI am excited for #clerks3 and a trip back to #quickstop. I was in 5th grade in 93. I read an article about this guy in my home state who made a flick. And it made me think it was possible #indiefilm”
He tags Kevin Smith into this inane tweet. What is he expecting to happen with any of this? He’s completely delusional.
https://twitter.com/stillnewtwallen/status/1544644800808423426
“Tonight Metz joins me for a review of #cannibalFerox https://youtu.be/wCOdwjoH8OI”
Oh my god. How did I miss this? By not watching Newt’s boring as fuck videos, I guess. This is PVC Bondage Girl. I’ll have to do a separate article on this. What the fuck is she wearing? Holy shit.
LOL he actually tagged Halle Berry.Of course he's a fan of Clerks. He literally wishes he was a Kevin Smith or any of the characters in those overrated films. The words Sam Raimi should never be spoken or written by him either. He's like an insect by comparison.Also yeah, is she seriously fucking wearing that to work? Or did she only wear that for the dragged out video they made? Because it really seems like she does wear this stuff during work hours. Which is really fucked. It's like she thinks daily life is a horror convention.
At first, I thought that she wore that stuff to work. But now I'm thinking that she must just wear this shit for the videos. But then that would mean that she brings a change of clothes in a bag to work just so that she can change for these videos. It's bizarre. And presumably she does all of that makeup just for the video too. This is all done at the end of her shift. So it's at least midnight. However long it takes her to get dressed and do her makeup. Maybe 30 minutes? Maybe an hour. So we're at maybe 1.00 am. Plus another 30 minutes, at least, to make the video. And she's not getting paid for any of this. She's doing this on her own time. And then she presumably has to change back into normal clothes and wash that shit off her face for the drive home. It must be at least 2.00 am before she leaves. And for what? No money. Nobody is jerking off over this. This isn't her ticket to fame and fortune. So what's the point?
https://youtu.be/BtOsR0RZbMcI'll give Newt about 5 days to start fapping about this. Especially considering how garbage as shit it looks and how it looks like a tits and gore level of production quality so there's absolutely no way he's not going to eat it up and find many positives about it. I mean good god, it's like this was made specifically for him.
Yeah, I saw Tony from Hack the Movies do a “bonus” video on this. He said it looks like a tv movie, which seems accurate.
He's also no one to be even doing videos like that considering Mummy Cop exists.
Occam's razor says she just dresses like a whore to work.