https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXqQD-jKG9g
Excuse the all-caps. That’s how Newt did it. Newt needs attention.
He’s at some mall. There’s a nerd convention. He bought a table to promote his various projects. The comic and his shitty movie ideas and whatever.
0:15 – Newt claims that people came from Ohio and Kentucky to talk to him. Then he says that the vendor next to him doesn’t understand why anybody would do that.
It’s true. There’s no fucking way that anyone made a 500+ mile trip to talk to Newt at a shopping mall. It didn’t happen. But Newt seems to believe that it did.
Maybe these people were going to come anyway. Maybe they wanted to go to the convention. Maybe they happened to be in Pennsylvania for some other reason and just decided to go to the convention to kill some time. I can believe all of that. But there is no way that anybody would have come just to see Newt.
0:30 – He introduces Liz of Lounge Lizard Designs. She makes guitar straps and belts. Good for her.
Here’s her store:
https://www.etsy.com/shop/LoungeLizZardDesigns
Newt didn’t link to it anywhere but I found it. It seems to be all guitar straps and face masks. I’m not seeing any belts. Maybe I misheard that.
A silk face mask. Do you suppose that that would be an effective way to prevent the transmission of airborne diseases? It’s as useless as cotton or anything else, I guess.
She has some “Jewish print” masks too. She’s Jewish, I assume.
Why doesn’t Newt just start an Etsy to sell his comics? This is ridiculous. He said that he was going to have these available on the internet for May. It’s now the middle of June.
0:45 – “We were filming before and then my phone started ringing because she was telling us that she’s afraid of dogs now because she got bit by a dog. So she says, ‘No hands stuff’, which automatically I think, ‘butt stuff, you know.”
What? None of this makes sense. She gets bit by a dog, so she says “no hands stuff”. What’s the connection? Did the dog bite her hand? And why does Newt think of “no butt stuff”? Even if he did think that, why would he voice this? Why would he release a video to Youtube where he says this?
Then the woman starts talking. Her dog bit her and she can no longer bend her knuckle. It’s a pitbull. God. You really get some scumbags at Living Dead Weekend.
“But I like pitbulls!”
Then you’re a scumbag too.
So her dog got out from under this fat Jewish woman’s fence, attacked a small dog that was being walked by an old woman, and this fat chick intervened and her dog bit her.
The dog should be put down. Clearly. But here’s this woman talking about how much she loves her sweet little doggie. This is fucking disgusting.
So this woman’s finger was actually detached from the dog biting it. She was trying to remove this small dog from her dog’s mouth.
2:15 – “I saw the other dog’s brains.”
She’s telling this story and we’re supposed to feel sympathy for her? Is that what this is? She’s the one responsible for all of this. She has a dangerous dog who killed another dog and…we’re supposed to feel sorry for this fat Jewish woman.
2:30 – She says that she removed her aggressive dog from the scene, she was dragging it by the collar back to her home and the dog was fighting her the whole way. It had the small dog’s blood on it and her blood on it.
So anyway, as a result, this woman now can’t watch gory movies where somebody’s hand is being mutilated. Any other kind of mutilation is fine but not “hand stuff”. And Newt thought of “butt stuff” while listening to this story, because he’s an idiot.
This thing happened two years ago. She still can’t move her finger. She’s presumably never going to get use of her finger any more.
What happened to the dog? I guarantee that she still has the dog.
3:15 – Then Newt just awkwardly leaves that woman. Doesn’t say “goodbye” or “thanks for telling your story” or “I hope that you had your dog put down.” Nothing. He just leaves her hanging and introduces the guy at the table next to him. This guy starts hawking for a book that he wrote called Moving Through. “It’s punk rock as hell.”
Well, that doesn’t entice me. What the fuck is the book about?
Then he takes another book, “If you like disgusting shit, you’ll probably like this. It’s not very long.”
I can’t even read the title. It’s a black cover and it’s hard to read. And he doesn’t say what the title is.
3:30 – Then rather than ask anything about the books, Newt says, “So can you tell people that people were actually here to meet me this weekend. Nobody ever fucking believes me.”
The guy looks confused for a second. Why the fuck did Newt say this? This is about this guy’s fucking books. Couldn’t Newt even ask ONE question about the books? Pretend to be interested in that shit? “So what are the books about?” Something like that.
I looked it up, and it’s tits and gore. Or at least gore. Complete trash. Nobody is reading that shit.
But no. Everything has to be about Newt.
So this guy says that there was a line of people to see Newt. Newt didn’t manage to catch this on film, though.
4:30 – Newt starts shilling for other conventions that he’s going to be at. One of them will have Ginger Lynn, “Adult film actress” in attendance. He’s mentioned this before. Complete scumbag Newt Wallen constantly talking about tits and gore. IT’S BORING, NEWT. No normal person gives a shit about this.
Then Newt interrupts this boring tits and gore story to promote his Puppet Plan 9 From Outer Space movie to a disinterested passerby.
5:00 – Newt says that he got to speak to George Romero’s wife because she wanted to see one of the puppets. Wow. THE George Romero’s wife? I’m green with envy over here.
“Tom Savini was also over at the table. (Totally incomprehensible guy) was over at the table.”
Newt is really making some waves in Hollywood. Geriatric tits and gore people were at his table. I can’t believe that he got to meet Totally Incomprehensible Guy.
That’s what you have to do. You have to get out there. That’s how you meet the movers and shakers in the film industry. At nerd conventions. They’re going to come to your table and say, “What the fuck is this trash” and then the next thing you know, you’re directing Hollywood blockbusters. It’s how Steven Spielberg got started.
“Who knew that Pittsburgh was kind of cool? I’m a Philly guy.”
Yeah. I always judge cities by how good their nerd conventions are. If there’s not a fat Jewish woman talking about her vicious dog, I want no part of that city.
And he didn’t even know that woman. He made that butt sex comment to a TOTAL STRANGER. This was Newt trying to be smooth. He was trying to have sex with that fat Jewish woman. How desperate can you possibly be? Well, I suppose that even that fat Jewish woman is an improvement over Horseface.
No PVC Bondage Girl or Mel in this video. We haven’t seen them in a while. Not since the last convention, I think. That was like six weeks ago, at least. Where are they? Maybe they’ve taken my advice and filed a class-action lawsuit against Newt for sexual harassment.
Comments.
– “Well, Newt, it’s finally happened; you’ve become more famous than Tony!”
Newt replies with, “Nope. Not even close.”
Why does Newt even care? The guy who wrote that was obviously joking. Tony from Summarise the Movies is not famous. But this is who Newt is competing with. Newt wants to be as famous as a guy who makes shitty Youtube videos.
The desperation from Newt is off the charts. Focus on making your shitty fucking movies and the fame will come or it won’t come. In this case, it won’t. But if he would actually focus on the fucking art of his projects and spend some time and effort on that, fame would naturally follow.
I mean, if you make a good movie, people are going to watch it and enjoy it, and word will spread. But if you make shit like Florida Man Saves Christmas and Shark Vampire, forget it. There’s no way.
Newt wants fame just for the sake of it. It doesn’t work that way. Fame is the result of doing something that people want to see. Nobody wants to see his shitty comics and movie ideas.
The problem is that he doesn’t have any ideas and he can’t write. So it’s fine. Do something else. This is not for you. We can’t all be big Hollywood directors. The world also needs movie theatre managers. Or whatever you want to do. But not this. REALISTIC jobs.
***BONUS***
Newt uploaded another video since I wrote that. He’s still in the mall. It’s the last day of this nerd convention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32A7zlFIA0A
0:45 – He’s taking us out into the mall. Some movie was filmed here, apparently. He shows a Q&A taking place in front of a Dick’s Sporting Goods hosted by Ken Foree and Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw Massacre III. A lot of empty seats. There are maybe ten people in the audience. This is just sad.
Who is Ken Foree anyway? He was in Dawn of the Dead and Kenan & Kel. I’ve never seen any of that.
1:00 – Oh, there’s a Party City behind Newt. How do businesses like this still exist? Who goes to a party supply store? And you’re going to go to the mall for this?
They sell helium according to their website. That seems to be their big seller. I don’t know. Maybe it’s kids trying to get high on this shit. That’s what’s keeping these stores in business.
1:30 – Newt is talking about some guy who he talked to for two and a a half hours for his podcast. It might be this guy:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/03/two-and-half-hour-interview-of-newt.html
That interview is discussed in four articles but I link to them all at the bottom of that one. That guy promised a part two to that interview but nothing so far.
2:00 – Now he’s in front of a Track 23. What is that? Clothing store, I’ll guess. Yeah.
Then he moves to the WPAL Boxing Gym. It’s a place for kids to take boxing classes. Who would go to the mall for boxing lessons? You know it’s going to be shit. What reputable boxing gym opens up in the mall?
I know that it’s just something to keep kids busy but…there have to be more legitimate places to go. I had a similar problem with martial arts “dojos” as a kid. There were so many shitty, scam McDojos. It’s tough to find a legitimate place.
Just think about it. You’re going to go to the boxing gym in the mall right next to the Lil Bunny? Who’s going to be intimidated by that?
You’re a kid, some bullies are taking your lunch money, and you say, “You better knock it off. I’ve been taking boxing lessons.” And the bully says, “Oh yeah? Where?”. You can’t say, “At the mall next to the Lil Bunny.” Even if it’s a good program with good trainers who take this all seriously, the location is bad. It’s the worst possible location on earth for a boxing gym.
What is Lil Bunny anyway? Oh. An indoor playground for toddlers. Yeah. Come on. Nobody is going to take this boxing class seriously. It’s just a place to drop your kids off for a couple hours a week. If they learn any boxing there, it’s purely coincidental.
Anyway, some guy, who Newt describes as a “talented filmmaker” was watching some Midnight Show clips (this is one of Newt’s shitty projects) and said that it was “really, really good.” Uh huh. Who was that talented filmmaker again? Let me rewind this.
No name given.
2:30 – Some 13 year olds, who possibly just left that boxing gym, were asking Newt for advice on being a filmmaker. And Newt gave some advice, he doesn’t say what, but he also told them not to take his advice because he doesn’t know what he’s doing.
I don’t think that these kids need to burdened with your hangups and midlife crisis bullshit. They’re not going to be filmmakers. These are just childish fantasies. Most people grow out of them.
I wanted to be a stand up comedian when I was 13. By the time I was 14, that was no longer something that I wanted to do.
3:00 – Newt says that he sold 100 comics between these two conventions that he was at.
3:30 – Now Newt is in front of some movie poster that has his name on it. I don’t know what it’s for.
3:45 – Newt says that these vendor booths are inside a former Wet Seal. Is that a name of a store? Let me look this up.
Yeah. They sold clothes.
4:45 – Newt shows the Amityville Halloween script that he wrote in 48 hours. Why does he say this stuff? That’s nothing to be proud of. “I shit this out in 48 hours.”
Yeah. Nobody cares. Take your time and write something GOOD. For once. Anybody can write shit. That’s not difficult.
Oh, and this is a different movie from Amityville Arcade. So Amityville Halloween is another “original” idea from Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen. What’s next? Amityville Friday the 13th?
Oh fuck off. There’s also going to be an Amityville Halloween video game on the Unreal engine. OF WHAT? This movie script that you shit out in 48 hours? This has a video game tie-in?
Who the fuck is going to watch Amityville Halloween, assuming it even gets made? Nobody. Maybe a handful of the ladyboys who go to Newt’s channel. That’s it.
You’re going to make a video game for these ladyboys? How is this going to be at all profitable? None of this makes sense. You can’t make a game for a zero budget tits and gore piece of shit movie that you’re making in your kitchen.
This is just mental illness. Newt needs to stop all of this shit. There needs to be an intervention.
5:00 – Oh. No, the video game isn’t based on Amityville Halloween. That would be stupid, of course. The video game is based on a movie script from Newt “The Idea Man” Wallen which he describes as a “B-movie Dragon’s Lair.”
Mmhmm. Do you have ANY original ideas, Newt? Even one?
He promises a trailer for this game in late June. Who can possibly be working on this? Where is he getting the funds from? Where’s the market for a B-movie Dragon’s Lair game?
Even the original Dragon’s Lair arcade game is shit. I don’t want to play that. I certainly don’t want to play the bastardised/plagiarised Newt Wallen version.
It doesn’t make sense. Where is the market for a B-movie Dragon’s Lair game? A movie that doesn’t even exist? It’s just so fucking stupid. What is he doing?
6:00 – Oh this is awkward. So Ken Foree passes by. He’s the guy who was giving that Q&A to ten people. And Newt stops him. Oh fuck. I have to quote this.
“Mr Foree. Can I tell my story with you really quick? I will come and I will buy an autograph from you and all that stuff.”
Then Newt starts telling a story from his childhood. This guy looks uncomfortable as fuck.
So…oh fuck. I’ll just paraphrase. I can’t listen to this again. Cringe as fuck.
Newt saw Dawn of the Dead as a six year old because his parents were basically absent. Some older kids tried to scare Newt by saying that it was based on real events. Newt was trying to show that he wasn’t scared and said that he was related to this Ken Foree. I don’t know how that came about. I don’t want to listen to this again.
But basically it’s a racist story. How can a white man be related to a black man? Hehe. That’s really funny, Newt. Black people are different from white people.
And his story is full of profanity. He says “fuck” repeatedly. And this is an old man who he’s telling this story to. An old, disinterested man.
Then that guy races out of there. What the fuck was this?
7:30 – Then he shows the vendor next to him. That guy wants no part of this. He knows that Newt is a fucking weirdo. Everybody does.
Oh god, these two videos. What a nightmade of cringe to witness.First of all, this footage perfectly shows how much of a sociopath Newt is. He cannot handle social interactions. He cannot compose himself. He cannot even be subtle how little he cares about anyone but himself. Even Tony isn't quite this blunt about how great he is and how everyone is talking about him and he's a big deal. These two are quite a pair so no wonder they were friends for a while. They both self-convince themselves of everything and think criticism is even a form of compliment towards them. Totally delusional, blinders-on behavior. Newt however, is worse at it. He really does take it further. Tony can at least at times calm it down a notch and doesn't make room clearing awkward statements constantly. His thing is more being in love with his own jokes and making it awkward for anyone not laughing along.Newt as you can see, is capable of not even talking to someone who lost their finger to a dog (pitbull owners are scum, yes) or even Ken Foree (who is great in Dawn of the Dead and From Beyond. I'm a fan of his. He's a good guy.) I'll go even further about Ken. Can you imagine what Newt does around other famous or semi famous horror film actors and filming crew? If he chose this approach with Ken Foree alone? Newt obviously finds these people. At one point or another he has run into actually famous people at these things. And he chooses some awkward, depressing, insane shit to drop on them instead of asking them a question or complimenting their skills. Because of course he does. This is Newt's world. We're all just bystanders in it. He thinks any moment is worthy of dropping one of these stories on. Did he meet Jeffrey Combs? Did he bring up Horseface when he did? Who knows! Probably actually! He is fucked enough in the head to do it.I do wonder if his staff has either quit or have gotten tired of his shit by now. We know he has a great capacity to burn bridges. So if he hasn't already he will soon. But it is noticeable how all that suddenly hasn't happened in a while and its just been him sperging by himself constantly and terrorizing strangers. I'm sure he has “lines of people” lining up to replace them though and help him make videos.
There was talk about a big upcoming project that PVC Bondage Girl and Mel were going to be involved in. I took it as being a Rental Reviews/Talking About Tapes rip off. I don't think that PVC Bondage Girl and Mel would be any worse that the dregs that Tony scrounges up. PVC and Mel have presumably seen a lot of movies, working in a movie theatre and all. Not that I think you can actually watch the movies on the job but just being around that, you probably become interested in movies and watch them in your spare time. Also, they seem to be able to talk. I don't find either one of them particularly annoying. So yeah. If Newt did a Rental Reviews rip off with those ladies, it might work. Assuming that he can keep the creepy comments to a minimum, not mention Horseface, and pick movies that aren't just tits and gore. So he'd probably fuck it up.
Lol well you know as well as I do that he can't not be creepy, and he can't not reference Horseface, and yeah all he would choose is tits and gore so he can force and then watch them talk about it. I agree that on average they both are far less retarded than Horseface so at least there would be that standard.I actually rewatched the video with the dog story and it's honestly deranged how she not only shared how she damaged the finger, but he knows full well that this woman is a fucking idiot and highly irresponsible and should have been charged with a crime and had her dog put down, but he can't help but laugh it up with her.As a lifelong dog lover I despise pitbull owners for this exact shit right here. It's always the same story or a worse one too. I've never met one that isn't a white woman and a deluded fool or redneck trash too. It's fitting in a morbid way.Tony was getting salty on his announcement video about not doing Thursdays anymore about homeboy here if you read the comment section actually. Kinda funny how much he holds resentment about it all still that he even bothers answering almost any comment where Newt comes up instead of just ignoring them. Says a lot frankly. Yet he keeps doing it of course. He's compelled to.
You might have noticed this, but in the second video he has on a projector screen to his side on a loop I believe the trailer to this shitty movie he helped make called Paperboy 3.And of course, you guessed it, Horseface is in it. You can see her in a scene that shows behind him around 3:30. So I mean, of course he never ever gets over her. He surrounds himself with things that remind him of her. It's so weird and awkward.
He's not doing Thursdays? I have to say that I don't keep track of the Hack the Movies schedule but I've noticed that he seems to be releasing slightly fewer videos now. So is he down to two a week? It's still a lot.
No he's down to ONE a week now.It's on his clips channel. Randomly last week announced it and claimed it was because he's making a movie and he's too exhausted to be doing two vids a week and he has no personal life and has to help make videos for Cinemassacre and yada yada.
Maybe Horseface could use one of the newspapers to cover up her fucking midriff for once