https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4-_bXHynwk
Gee, James. Where do you get your ideas?
Joe Bob was just on Talking About Tapes with Tony from Hack the Movies like two days ago.
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2022/05/the-strangest-sequel-ever-made-with-joe.html
How sad is this? Joe Bob is on Tony’s show and Mr Autism over here is just hanging around the set, looking sad, hoping that Joe Bob will take pity on him and agree to an interview.
James…the man was there to talk about The Howling 7 with Youtube’s preeminent movie reviewer: Tony from Hack the Movies. Can you just go get your own fucking guests? Do your own videos? Come up with your own ideas?
A fucking hour of this bullshit. And according to the boys on Reddit, it’s boring as fuck. I’ll just count the “yeah’s” to make it entertaining. What other words should I tally up? “Uh huh”? “Mmhmm”? I’m not sure about “mmhmm”. But if I’m okay with “uh huh” why not “mmhmm” too? “Uh huh” is perhaps slightly more of a word but only slightly.
I’ll do running tallies of ALL words AND sounds in the affirmative. So “yeah”, “yes,” yep”, “damn straight”, all of that shit, plus the sounds.
0:00 – “If it wasn’t for Joe Bob and MonsterVision, I might not even be making movie reviews the way I am today.”
Let’s not blame Joe Bob for this, Jimmy.
“But first, a word from our sponsors.”
Some shitty mobile game. Not the usual one, at least.
1:15 – “Alright. So here comes the part where I introduce the guest.”
It’s so bad . This is a Youtube professional with like 15 years of experience.
I’m reminded of my youth. This is only tangentially related. But in the 7th or 8th grade, we had to make cards for the American troops in Iraq. It was all part of the propaganda effort. We had to do this a few times.
So I remember reading one guy’s card and it started with, “I have to write a letter to the soldiers for school so here it is.”
I knew that this was bad. I knew that it was insulting. But the teacher read it and had no problem with it.
So the next time we had to do these letters, I decided to plagiarise this guy’s opening. It worked for him, it should work for me.
The teacher took my card, read it to herself, and then read it out loud to the class in an effort to embarrass me. “Does that sound like an appropriate way to write a letter to a soldier?”
I ripped that guy’s opening off verbatim, for the same fucking assignment, and I know for a fact that she had no problem with that guy’s card. Suddenly, when I do it, it’s the worst thing that anyone has ever done. I’m worse than Saddam Hussein. I’m supporting Saddam Hussein. I probably put my political enemies in woodchippers too. And I take babies out of incubators. I’m also storing weapons of mass destruction in my ass.
I read a news item recently about somebody finding homemade cards written to Russian soldiers in Ukraine. And the cards talked about how thankful these kids are to the soldiers for protecting them and making the world safe for…whatever. Same exact propaganda.
Anyway, we’ve got an hour of clueless Jimmy to get through.
1:45 – Hey, we got our first “mmhmm”. I won’t timestamp all of them but I’ll periodically update my tally.
6:15 – Okay, so we’re up to 10 “mmhmm”s and 3 “yeah’s”.
I should clarify my methodology. If James is actually answering a question in the affirmative, I don’t count those. It’s only when he just doesn’t know what to say so says “yeah” or “mmhmm” as an awkward filler that I’m counting. There are some close calls. It’s somewhat subjective.
This video is boring as fuck, by the way.
9:30 – I’m noticing that James also says “wow” a lot when he doesn’t know what to say. But it’s too late to add that to my list. I’m not going to watch the first ten minutes of this bullshit again.
Here’s the current tally:
Mmhmm – 12
Yeah – 8
Uh huh – 1
Moving on.
16:45 – They’re talking about the fake Satanist band scare of the 1980s where people thought that heavy metal bands were Satanists and they had subliminal messages in their songs and whatever. And Jimmy says that there are real heavy metal bands who burn churches down and “are really scary”.
What in the name of fuck? Jimmy is just on another planet. Retard Planet. This is why he believes in all of this nonsense like Atlantis and Bigfoot. This is why he’s so petrified of covid and falling rocks. He’s an idiot. He’s mentally challenged. This is a clinical problem.
So this is what we’re up to:
Mmhmm – 19
Yeah – 15
Uh huh – 2
18:00 – He says “yeah” six times in 15 seconds. There are three couplets of “yeah yeah”. Hey, this all counts, Jimmy. Didn’t you know that I’d be keeping a running score of this? “Yeah” has just jumped out in the lead. I don’t know if “mmhmm” will be able to recover.
Mmhmm – 19
Yeah – 24
Uh huh – 2
By the way, they’re talking about some holiday called Walpurgis Night that Joe Bob claims is big in Europe. Jimmy has also heard of this.
Really? Let me look this up.
Maybe it is. Well, not Europe broadly but he was talking specifically about the Nordic countries. It’s news to me. It’s on Wikipedia, though. Mmhmm.
22:15 – For whatever reason, Jimmy is hung up on St George’s Day. He thinks that it’s somehow associated with this holiday because some movie he saw said that St George’s Day is a few days before this Walpurgis Night.
Mmhmm – 22
Yeah – 30
Uh huh – 3
30:00 – Okay, I’m done. I’m starting to lose focus. I know that I missed a few but I’m just totally zoning out. Here’s what I got:
Mmhmm – 26
Yeah – 33
Uh huh – 3
So about 1 “mmhmm” and 1 “yeah” a minute. And this is heavily edited. James can not have a conversation at all. It all has to be from his notes. James makes Tony from Hack the Movies look like Charlie Rose.
Whatever happened to that guy? Wasn’t there some scandal?
Yeah…nebulous claims of sexual harassment, groping, and lewd phone calls. I wouldn’t put any of that past Tony from Hack the Movies. And Newt openly advertises his fondness for such behaviour.
Who might Tony be groping, though? Horseface McGee? That lesbian intern they’ve had for the past two years? Neither one of them have anything to grope. Maybe he’s feeling on Justin Silverman.
Oh, I just realised that this is my 777th article. It’s a sign. I’m going to teach James Rolfe how to count cards and we’re going to go to Vegas.