Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqRuofa6cEc

0:00 – “I wanted to talk about Friday the 13th but I’m not included in that any more.”

He’s talking about Talking About Tapes, presumably, but he hasn’t worked there in at least seven months.  Did they plan this far ahead?  I really doubt it.  And he probably couldn’t have watched the recent Talking About Tapes because it was only released a few hours before Newt released this video.  I don’t know.

0:30 – “It was sold in syndication with Star Trek: The Next Generation and that is what helped it get the coverage that it got when it began.”

I think that’s right.  I have a vague memory of this show being advertised in conjunction with Star Trek: The Next Generation.  

I never saw Friday the 13th: The Series, by the way.  I never had any interest in this horror bullshit.  

1:45 – Shout out to tits and gore.  He’s so fucking boring.  And this is mentally ill behaviour.  

2:15 – Newt says that this show lead to his parents getting divorced. 

2:30 – “My parents got married when they were very young and my parents had me when she was 16 years old.”

So anyway, Newt talks about how his parents were permissive about what he could watch.  So young Newt watched a lot of “tits and gore” bullshit.  But then his brother told…somebody….Newt doesn’t say who, that he watched all of this “tits and gore” bullshit and this mystery person complained to Newt’s mother.  

I’m assuming that this person was a friend of Newt’s brother and then this friend told his parents about this “tits and gore” bullshit that he watched and then the parents got in touch with Newt’s mother and chastised her for not doing a good job with parenting.  If you want to let your children watch this “tits and gore” bullshit, that’s up to you, but my kid isn’t watching that shit so he’s not going to be spending any more time with your feral children.

It reminds me of some feral children who I grew up with.  They also had parents who had them when they were young.  And they were allowed to watch these “tits and gore” movies and listen to heavy metal and this sort of thing.  And this is when we were like…9?  10?  Maybe younger . 

The guy became the biggest drug addict in the school by the time he was 15.  Then he got shot and partially paralysed when he was…in his late 20s, I think.  Early 30s maybe.  It was presumably drug-related.  Then he got really depressed and then he killed himself.  

At least Newt avoided the drugs, I guess.  But it’s sad.  It’s sad that people have parents who are too inept or too uncaring to do any parenting.  And we see the results.  

4:00 – Then Newt says that he was caught watching some episode of Friday the 13th, he still remembers the episode, which illustrates how traumatic this event was, and when his parents caught him watching this, they got into a fight.  His mother wanted Newt to turn it off and his father, apparently, felt strongly that Newt should be able to watch this “tits and gore” trash.  

So then the father left the home to calm down, met some skank in a bar, had a child with her, and this lead to the dissolution of the marriage.  

4:30 – “It’s fine now.  My mom talks to me.  There’s a video on this channel where I saw my mom for the first time in two years.  My dad hasn’t spoken to me in six years.”

So…that weird video where Newt asks his mother if she’s proud of him and he sells her two copies of his “tits and gore” comic was the first time he’d seen his mother in two years?  

And what ever happened to that Florida Man comic?  Where’s the “merch store”?  We were promised “merch”.  I’ve got the ten bucks (plus shipping and handling) in my hot little hand ready to go.  Newt needs to strike when the iron is hot.  Florida Man Saves Christmas Mania is sweeping the world.

5:15 – He describes a character as a, “Beautiful, kooky redhead”.  PVC Bondage Girl, who’s holding the camera, knows where this is going so interrupts with, “Not your type at all”.  

It’s just pathetic.  Let’s ignore the fact that Horseface isn’t…and personality-wise she’s…I don’t even want to get into it.  Get the fuck over it, Newt.  

Even if it was a hot chick with a nice personality, which it isn’t, on both fronts, who is this fucking obsessed that they would still carry on like this SEVEN MONTHS LATER.  Publicly.  In Youtube videos.  

5:45 – “There was a show called  Warehouse 13 that just straight up fucking plagiarised this show.”

There’s no way that he’s going to let the irony of this statement go by.

Wait…he just moved on.  

Everything that Newt does is plagiarised.  There’s the Monster Madness, of course.  But Florida Man is a stolen idea.  Amityville Arcade is a stolen idea.  Shark Vampire is a stolen idea.  Puppet Plan 9 From Outer Space is a stolen idea.   Everything is just “tits and gore”.  

But here’s Newt feigning outrage over plagiarism.  His entire life is based on plagiarism.  Without plagiarism, he’s nothing.  

7:00 – Newt says that he told the producer or…something of this show that it broke up his parents’ marriage.  He did this over Facebook.  The same story that he told here.

Let’s be honest.  There were probably problems in that relationship before this Friday the 13th incident.

9:30 – Newt says that the fifth Friday the 13th movie is his favourite because it’s, “A dirty, filthy porno movie with big titties in it.”

What a student of cinema Newt is.

That’s the video.  But yeah, the series had NOTHING to do with the movies.  Newt mentioned this in passing but still recommends watching it.  People don’t like being made fools of.  This is why the show failed.  You can’t just call it something and then the actual product bears no relation to the referenced product.

Anyway, Newt mentioned something in another video that I’d like to briefly mention.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ldbB5906RE

He’s reviewing some “tits and gore” piece of shit.  He mentions that Lisa London is one of the actresses in it.

I saw this woman in a movie called HOTS.  I got the DVD for some reason.  It’s a movie from like 1979.  Danny Bonaduce is in it along with some women who were in Playboy.  It’s like a…Animal House or something movie.  I’ve never seen Animal House so I don’t really know.  But some kind of a college sex romp comedy.  

There are plenty of tits but no gore.  And Lisa London is in it.  Lisa London is the only reason to watch this movie.  She has huge tits and there are at least a couple of scenes where you get a good shot at them.  

So Newt is talking about some recent “tits and gore” movie that was released and he mentions some kind of lesbian scene with an old woman and he says that it’s Lisa London.  

So I looked it up.  She’s like 65 years old now.  

Let me see if I can find any video of this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gnIvfBijus

There’s the “trailer” for this “film”.  And yeah, Lisa London is there.  She’s one of the scientists.  She’s obviously had a lot of work done.

Well, whatever.  She’s apparently doing loads of stuff according to IMDB.  So good for her.  She was able to eek out some kind of living for 40 years just based on having big tits.