https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxCFioqpYlk
(edit: I wrote all of this before I saw Erin’s most recent video — the one about these Atari Recharged games)
Here’s a surprise. I decided to check out the latest Mike Matei video and Erin is there. Erin didn’t promote this anywhere.
I was thinking about Talking About Games, the podcast that Mike does with Ryan, and I wondered why Mike never invites Erin on as a guest. Wouldn’t that be a thing to do? It’s in the contract. He has to promote her in exchange for buttsex. So why doesn’t he do that?
Because she would be absolutely god awful. She knows nothing about video games. That’s why he doesn’t bring her on the podcast.
Anyway, let me do a full screen of this video. Is that a TMNT shirt that Erin has? I can’t tell.
0:30 – Mike says that this stream is sponsored by Atari. What?
“It’s an honour to be sponsored by Atari because I grew up with Atari.”
Whatever faceless corporation that owns the Atari name has absolutely no connection to the original Atari.
In what capacity can Atari possibly still exist? Let me look this up.
In 1984, the company was split up. The console and computer divisions were sold to unspecified owners and the consumer electronics division (whatever that encompasses…the games, maybe) were sold to the guy who founded Commodore.
In 1996, the portion of the company owned by this Commodore guy was sold to disk drive manufacturer JT Storage. You all know JT Storage, right?
In 1998, Hasbro Interactive bought out JT Storage.
In 2001, Infogrames Entertainment, a company based in France, bought out Hasbro Interactive.
In 2003, Infogrames renamed themselves Atari Interactive.
In 2013, Infogrames declared bankruptcy in France.
In 2020, there was some nebulous deal where a company called ICICB Group took ownership of 50% of the Atari properties. This company is registered in Gibraltar, a common place for companies to register as a way to avoid paying taxes.
ICICB is a holding company with large investments in crytocurrency and hedge funds.
This is the Atari who’s sponsoring the video. Some Frankenstein company that’s half owned by some bankrupt French company (I guess) and half owned by some scumbags who are buying up cryptocurrency and are incorporated in such a way as to pay as little tax as possible.
1:00 – The video goes to full screen. Erin is wearing an Asteroids shirt. She’s a big Asteroids fan, guys. She never played the game in her life.
2:30 – Oh, this game is shit . He’s going to play this for three hours? This is awful. It’s a Centipede reboot, by the way.
They’re playing co-op. Erin is totally useless. She’s not even shooting at anything. She’s just randomly running around.
4:45 – Mike says, “You ever play a game of Mario and other person is a lot better and you’re just sitting there?”
I don’t believe that she has, Mike. But theoretically, that is what would happen. If Erin actually played video games. Which she doesn’t.
Then Erin died again. This is fucking brutal.
“This gets very stressful.”
Go. Fuck. Yourself.
“In a good way, though. I like it. It’s like addicting.”
See previous comment.
She will never play this again. It’s “addicting”.
5:15 – If you get a heart item, the other player can come back. Erin came back and then Mike died. So now it’s just Erin playing. Let’s see if she can survive long enough to bring Mike back. I’ll guess…no.
Oh, she actually managed it. And then died right after.
6:15 – Erin ran right into an enemy for reasons that only she knows. Mike was already dead. So that’s a game over.
Do I want to watch another two and a half hours of this? Let me skim the scroll bar. Whatever it is. They play another game too, I know. Yeah…for the first 90 minutes, it’s this shit. Then then play Black Widow. I don’t want to see that either. Let’s push on a little more.
“That was good, though.”
No, it wasn’t. She’s horrible.
On a flight, my girlfriend was playing some free games that the airline’s wifi supplied. She was bad at the games but I encouraged her to keep at it.
Mike does the same thing in these streams with Erin. But it’s patronising. It’s how you speak to a child.
It’s one thing if you’re trying to kill time on a flight and there’s nothing to do but this is Erin’s JOB. Her JOB is to play video games. And she doesn’t have a fucking clue what she’s doing. So Mike has to constantly encourage her in this patronising fashion.
8:00 – Mike keeps talking about David the Gnome and Erin is pretending to know what he’s talking about. What the fuck is this?
It’s a cartoon that aired on Nick Jr from 1988 to 1995. No. I’ve never heard of this. I don’t even think that Nick Jr existed in 1988 and if it did, I’ve never seen it. I’ve never watched Nick Jr. I was too old by the time that channel existed. I’m not even sure if I ever had the channel. I watched Nickelodeon but not the Jr channel.
But yeah, Erin can’t possibly know what this is. I don’t even know what it is and I’m apparently, sort of in the right demographic. I’ve never heard anybody talk about this. I’ve never seen the character before. I’ve never heard the name before. This means nothing to me.
Anyway, Erin is literally doing nothing. She’s moving back and forward and shooting in a spot that has NOTHING. She doesn’t even know what the objective is. SHOOT STUFF, ERIN! IT’S NOT HARD!
She’s just randomly moving across the screen and shooting. This is abysmal.
11:45 – Erin said, “I don’t feel bad not being as good as you at this because you’re like Mr Atari.”
Don’t worry about being as good as Mike. At least be SEMI-COMPETENT. At least KNOW THE OBJECTIVE of the game. In this case, you have to SHOOT STUFF. Can you SHOOT STUFF, Erin?
She’s actually hindering Mike. Because she’ll shoot a Centipede, purely at random, it will break up, and now there are are two centipedes coming down. So Mike has to constantly run around and try to fix all of the problems that Erin is causing.
12:45 – “Asteroids comes out tomorrow. So check out Asteroids tomorrow.”
Oh. So this is all part of the promotion. That’s why Erin is wearing that shirt. For a stupid advertisement.
13:15 – Mike says that the background of this game reminds him of Transformers. Erin pretends to know what he’s talking about, smiles, and says “yeah”.
Good contribution, Erin. As ever. You have NO IDEA what he’s talking about. I don’t even really know what he’s talking about and I watched the cartoon. As a child. I have a hazy idea of a purple grid like this appearing regularly in the show but I can’t fucking remember. I stopped watching that shit when I was nine years old.
Listen to Erin’s contributions from about 13:00 to at least 16:00. That’s where I’m up to now. It’s nothing. She just keeps saying “yeah”. She’s the James Rolfe of this relationship. She has no idea what’s going on and she just agrees with everything that Mike says. But she can’t contribute to the conversation because she doesn’t know what he’s talking about and/or she’s incapable of having a conversation. So it’s just “yeah” repeatedly.
16:15 – Erin died and said, “I goofed”. Yeah. Running directly into the enemy for no apparent reason was something of a goof. It’s like she intentionally ran into him. What else can this be?
Then she starts massaging her wrists. Shout out to her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.
When are we going to hear about her test results? She had nerve tests done or something. When was this?
I mentioned it on October 24 so she had it done at least by then. This is two months ago. They would have come back with the results by now. What are they? Give us the results of your nerve tests. Your nerves are fine, right? This carpal tunnel syndrome is a giant load of bullshit, correct? Lay it on us.
No, she’s going to keep it a secret and keep massaging her wrists to portray the victim. Look at how much Erin loves the horntards. She’s willing to completely destroy her wrists for them. She plays video games SOOOOOOOO MUCH that she’s developed carpal tunnel syndrome. That’s what she wants us to believe. But she won’t release the test results.
18:00 – Mike suggests that he’d like to see a Combat reboot. He says, “Combat could work”. About 10 seconds later, Erin says, “Yeah. Combat could work”.
This is what I’m talking about. These are the only sorts of comments that she can make. She just says, “Yeah” and then repeats what Mike just said. She has NO IDEA what Combat is. She never played it before. So this is the sort of conversation that you get.
Maybe if they change the subject to Britney Spears, Erin will have something more substantive to say.
As soon as I said that, Erin started talking about Disneyland. It has absolutely nothing to do with the topic at hand (which was video games…specially this video game) but Erin managed to change the subject to Disneyland, one of the few topics that she has some familiarity with.
20:15 – “I don’t think that I’ve been this stressed by Centipede.”
That’s a safe bet. She’s never played the game before.
You know what? I’m done. I’m sick of the constant fucking lies, the horrendous gameplay, and the abysmal conversation.
She couldn’t even talk about Disneyland. Mike was talking about some Disney shit and she had no idea what he was talking about. It was like she wasn’t listening.
There was a funny comment that I saw. Let me see if it’s still there. Oh yeah.
– “Why is she always over at his house?”
These are the people watching this shit. Literal retards.