Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuqLFoAIbPI

Oh great.  Erin is looking at Mike’s magazine collection again.  On stream, for money.  She has carpal tunnel so can’t play video games any more.  Not even something as non-strenuous as Wheel of Fortune.  

Now that I think of it, if she can’t even play Wheel of Fortune, how is she going to turn the pages of these magazines?  I’d say that the effort involved in playing Wheel of Fortune is the same as turning pages in a magazine.  In fact, the page turning might even be MORE stressful on one’s hands and wrists than playing Wheel of Fortune.  

Anyway, Erin is wearing a “sexy” jack-o-lantern top and she’s decorated her “gaming” closet with cookie-cutter Halloween shit.  ShiShi is there jerking off over this.  It’s completely beyond my comprehension.

0:15 – “I am making it work by giving my hands and wrists a break”.

When are we going to hear the results of that nerve test?  We’re all waiting, Erin.  Is there anything wrong with your hands and wrists?  We want to know about it.  

If she had results that showed anything AT ALL being wrong, she would advertise it.  She would have screenshots of the test results on her Twitter.  But there’s been nothing.  So we can safely assume that the results are negative.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with her hands and/or wrists.  It’s just one of many, many lies that she tells.  Bad lies.  Her entire life is one bad lie after another.

0:30 – “Thank you, Games & Movies.”

Then she talks about her top.  He must have complimented her top and then said “HUGS”.  

The man is literally retarded.  He’s in every one of her streams.  For any new people, here’s his channel:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLrQiA7pj308zh-AD3guKhw/videos

Tell me that guy isn’t mentally retarded.  And not just a little bit.  MASSIVELY retarded.  He’s totally incapable of independent living or taking care of himself to any degree whatsoever.  

Erin is taking money from this guy.  And dozens of guys like him.  To the tune of $6,900/year.  

1:30 – “My mom was at Borders.  Remember Borders?  I miss Borders.”

Even in this story that she’s telling, she never went to Borders.  It’s a story about her mother going to Borders.  This is once again, Erin telling a story about something that she DIDN’T do.

Anyway, she claims that her mother bought her the last copy of Nintendo Power at Borders.  Was it even sold in shops?  

And wait a minute…while I was looking that up, I see that the last issue was in 2012.  Erin aka Cykill1986 would have been 26 years old, or 25 if we use her fraudulent birth year.  Her mother was buying her Nintendo Power as a 25/26 year old?

And naturally, Erin isn’t even interested in video games and never has been.  So why would her mother get this?  Especially for her 25/26 year old daughter?  She started the channel when she was 29.  

The whole thing is insane.  Erin has just totally wasted her life.  She’s done NOTHING.  Living at home as a 25/26 year old and your mother is buying Nintendo Power for you?  Inexplicably.  “Hey, remember that thing you played, briefly, for a couple of days, back in high school?  Well, here’s the last magazine for it.”

Why wouldn’t her mother get…I don’t know…Tiger Beat or something?  Or get a magazine that normal 25/26 year old women would have read like Cosmopolitan?  Or some fucking Disney magazine?  Why Nintendo Power for a 25/26 year old woman with no interest in video games?  

2:45 – “This one is about Addams Family: Pugsley’s Scavenger Hunt.  I’ve never played that game but that’s all right because we’re going to look through it and see what’s up.”

This is so terrible.  And she’s doing this on some fucking plastic children’s tablecloth.  This is weird.  Why does she even have this?  

4:00 – She’s looking at the first page.  It’s running down the shit that you get in each issue of Nintendo Power.  “I guess that they were coupons.  I don’t remember those.”

This is riveting stuff.  Two hours of stories about stuff that Erin didn’t do and stuff that Erin doesn’t remember.  

5:00 – “Look at that colour scheme.  It’s beautiful.  It reminds me of (some Disney shit).”

Fascinating, Erin.  Hues and Disney.

“Which I’ve never been to.”

Oh, and the story gets even better.  She’s talking about some Disney attraction that she’s never even been to.  Tell us more, Erin.  I’m on the edge of my fucking seat here.

5:15 – “Q…Cubernator?”

It’s clearly Cybernator.  She somehow thought that the “Y” was a “U”.  It’s a stylised font but anyone with any knowledge whatsoever about video games knows that “cyber” is a popular word.  “Cubernator”.  Fucking idiot.

5:45 – “Oh, is this the one game that Ryan was talking about on Talking About Games?  I think it was.”

I don’t even want to comment.  Let’s just move on.  I have another two hours to go…

“This looks up my alley because you’re a cute little mech and you know how I feel about little robots.”

So play it, Erin.  In your spare time.  For once in your life actually play a game not on stream, for money.

Then she says that maybe she’ll play it on stream, for money.  Then she gets a notebook out and writes this down.  This is the notebook that Mike bought for her, presumably.  When you’re making less than $10,000 from scamming literal retards, you don’t have much money to buy things like notebooks.

8:15 – “Harley’s Humongous Adventure.  I think that I played this in a variety stream and I was very confused.”

That’s because you played it for a few seconds, on stream, for money.  

9:00 – She’s reading from the chat.  “Sylvan Learning Center?  I remember Sylvan.”

Riveting.  Let’s hear the story.

“It was like you were supposed to go there after school.  It was like a tutoring thing.”

Well, it’s more than I remembered.  I only remembered the name.  Still, her story is about nothing.

Oh my god.  Did Games and Movies say that he went there?  She mentions him.  I have to check the original stream for what he said now.

Holy shit.  He said, “fuck Silven I had a bad time there”.

I was going to say that it might have been something for mentally retarded kids but I wasn’t sure.  Apparently, that’s at least one audience who Sylvan targeted.  

It’s just disgusting.  The guy is literally retarded.  She knows this and she keeps taking money from him.

Shishi is also there, of course.  

11:45 – She says that she’s not going to read the entire article (three paragraphs) because “I don’t know how long my voice will last.”  

By the way, there was a quiz there and it would have been interesting to see Erin take the quiz.  I don’t think that she even realised that what she was looking at what a quiz.

12:45 – Erin says that she watched the Addams Family cartoon.  “I don’t remember anything about it.”  

You don’t say.

13:30 – “Up until my early 20s, I was like, ‘Super Nintendo is my favourite console’.  But then…like…I don’t know.”

Riveting stuff, Erin.

15:30 – She opens up a Starfox poster and only after the words “Starfox” are revealed does she mention that it’s a Starfox poster.  She couldn’t recognise the characters.  Then somebody says that she should hang the poster up.  Erin says, “Maybe.”

She knows that she can’t hang it up.  This is Mike’s Nintendo Power.  You can’t start ripping the posters out.  This is his retirement fund.

16:15 – “Thank you, Sergio.”

Let’s see what he said.  “hey! love your outfit, Erin!”

There is no doubt that these literal retards are jacking off to this shit.  Why don’t they just go to Pornhub?  That’s not what they’re into.

It’s like how Games and Movies goes to Disneyland all the time and hugs the costumed characters.  That’s his thing.  That’s better than sex with a hot chick with big tits to him.  

These retards like watching an average looking 35 year old woman pretending to like video games.  There’s a sexual element to this for them.  

17:00 – She’s on an article called Unsung Heroes of the NES.  It’s clearly about “hidden gems” on the NES.  But Erin never says the words “hidden gems” and she talks about this article like it’s some fresh, new, exciting idea that nobody has ever talked about before.

It’s the most hackneyed, overused idea in all of Youtube retro “gaming”.  So of course Erin never heard of it before.

So she’s reading about Metal Storm, a game that she played once, on stream for money, and she pretends to get irate when she reads that the game isn’t difficult.  She says that it is difficult when you get to the “boss rush” at the end of the game.  

She’s talking about the ONE TIME that she played this game.  On stream, for money.  And yet again, she’s trying to portray herself as some kind of an expert.

18:30 – Then she says that she wants to write an angry letter to the writer of this piece.  So she says, “What year did this come out?”  And she checks the cover, which apparently gives the month.  So then she gives up.

This information is almost certainly on the impressum, Erin.  You know what the impressum is, right?  

19:00 – Then she talks about how she streamed Vice Project Doom, which is another game in this article.  

Why does everything have to be streamed?  Why are her stories never, “I played this game as a child” or “I played this game last week, in my free time”?  It’s always on stream, for money.

Okay, I made it to 20 minutes.  That’s good enough.  This is fucking shit-tier “content” as usual from Erin.  Do something else with your life.  There are things that you can do other than scam retards on the internet for $10,000/year.  Any job on earth will pay more than this.  Why doesn’t she get this?