Ender Lilies is a Metroidvania you should play – Cannot be Tamed

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-WCwVcyDTT0

What the hell?  Pam is wearing a flowery dress.  Like a school teacher would wear.  

Maybe because the character in the game wears a dress?  And it has “Lilies” in the title?  Maybe flowers are important in the game.

And she’s wearing like a pearl necklace.  What the fuck is going on?

God, I can’t with this.  I made it to 3:30.  She’s just so fucking boring.

But this dress.  What the fuck.  It’s fine.  I mean, it’s the sort of dress that 40 year old women might wear.  It’s just so out of character.  

Maybe she’s just trying to change her look.  Good for her.  I’m all for it.  The schoolmarm aesthetic.

You know, I look back at teachers that I had and almost all of them are retired now.  A lot of them are dead.  Some must be long dead.  

It puts things in perspective.  Some of these teachers were probably my age when I was a student.  

When I was a kid, just about everybody’s grandfathers were WWII veterans.  Those people are all gone now, of course.  

People of my parents’ age were often Vietnam veterans or had some wacky stories about dodging the draft.  And these were fairly young people.  People in their 30s and 40s.  Now, those that are still alive are in their 60s and 70s and 80s.

It seemed static at the time.  Like people born in 1945 were always going to be middle aged and people my age were always going to be young.  

But no.  These old timers were young once.  And their parents were WWI veterans.  And their grandparents were…whatever…subsistence farmers.  

I was looking at an apartment a few months ago and I was talking to the landlord about 1990s sports.  A little manly man discussion.  He had no fucking idea what I was talking about.  He was in his early 30s, I guess.  Mid 30s.  He said that it was before his time.

And I remember Newt asking Tony from Hack the Movies something about Doonesbury or some comic strip and Tony didn’t have a clue.  

Or there was that Godzilla podcast where Johanna and Tony were talking about life in the 1990s and they clearly only had a hazy perception of the decade.

When Erin or any of these shit “Youtubers” talk about how they’re *nostalgic* for 2005 or whatever, I always think, “What the fuck are you talking about?  It was only 15 years ago.”

But to them, that’s a long time ago.  They were children.  

And you look at Erin or Tony from Hack the Movies or this prospective landlord of mine…these aren’t young people.  So I must be pretty old.  

John Riggs is like a year older than me.  That fat bastard who talks about his “aches”, has so much white in his beard that he doesn’t even care about it any more, and has three fairly old children is the same age as I am.  And he didn’t have children at a particularly young age.    

I saw Pat the NES Punk in a recent Zap Cristal video and he has long white streaks in his hair now.  And he looks old.  

Obviously, we all know that everyone gets older.  But just looking at it from a societal level…and a historical level…I don’t know.  

This is why it’s important to live in the present.  Try to make the most of your life.  You see somebody like Erin just throwing her life away on this gamer grrl scam…it’s sad.  All of these wasted years.  And it has a knock on effect on her future.  

She’s basically done.  She’s soon going to be 35, no work experience for the past 5+ years, single, no kids.  How is she going to recover from that?  She’s going to suddenly get a great career and relationship and family?  No.  She hasn’t set the foundation for any of that.  And now it’s too late.  

Erin just has to ask Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining where she gets her old lady dresses from, adopt a cat from the pet shelter, and break out the peanut butter.  See if her old job at the record store is still available.  But is this even an industry that exists in 2021?  

The worst teacher I ever had in high school was an obese woman who was probably in her early to mid 30s.  She taught 12th grade remedial English or “business English” I think it was being called at the time.  

She would come in, take attendance, and then…nothing.  We just talked amongst ourselves.  This went on every single day.   I don’t even know what she was basing the grades on.  It must have been nothing.  Everybody just got B’s, I guess.

Occasionally, we’d watch a movie.  Like Casper.  Nothing educational.  

This went on for almost the entire year.  Then towards the end of the year, she started trying to teach.  She assigned us Animal Farm and there were some little grammar assignments from our textbook and shit like this.  

This was met with great backlash.  People straight up told her, “You’ve done nothing the entire year, why are you suddenly teaching?”  She just ignored these questions.

I was the only person who read that book.  I read the entire book the night before the test.  Then I gave the stoner kid who sat in front of me the answers.  I just said the answers aloud as I went through, “A”, “D”, “B”, whatever.  So I got an “A” on the test, the stoner got an “A” on the test and we all graduated.  Not that there was any fear of not graduating.  She wasn’t going to fail anyone.

We would make fun of this woman.  Talk about how fat and lazy she is.  There were numerous references to cats and peanut butter.  But it wasn’t all obesity and bestiality comedy, we also discussed the immorality of what this woman is doing by refusing to teach.  I remember talking to the guy next to me about this and he said, “Some people just don’t have any morals.” 

Why did she do it?  Why did she flat out refuse to teach AT ALL?  I assume that she was deeply depressed and didn’t care.  She was a single woman, obese, doing a job that she didn’t like, living in a town that she didn’t like.  She was from New Jersey, actually, and we were some ways away.  

She didn’t care if she got fired or not.  This was her level of depression.  She didn’t care what happened to her and she didn’t care about anyone else.

She never got fired.  Maybe people didn’t know what was going on, maybe people didn’t care.  This was before the internet so you couldn’t talk shit on Facebook or whatever or send the principal a message.  You had to actually walk into the principal’s office, make an appointment, and say to the principal, “Hey, this woman isn’t teaching at all.”  And who’s going to do that?  

Anyway, it was just remedial English.  Who cares what happens to these morons?

Rather than attempt to fix her life, she just wallowed in self-pity.  Day after day.  Year after year.  

She retired from that same school a few years ago.  Never married.  No children.  Still obese.  Still lazy as fuck, I’d imagine.  Still an avid cat lover.

That stoner killed himself over ten years ago.

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