Gamer Girls

 https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1422774707401764864

“I gotta start thinking about Halloween content! I’ve always started planning that stuff out way earlier, but this year everything just feels so weird. I can’t believe it’s August.”

She “always” planned her Halloween “content” even more than two months in advance.  I find that shocking.

What did she do last year?  I remember it being particularly disappointing.  Let me check the archives.

House of the Dead 2 – https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/10/house-of-dead-2-dreamcast-erin-plays.html

Kid Dracula – https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/10/kid-dracula-castlevania-anniversary.html

13 Spooky Retro Games – https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/10/13-spooky-retro-games-erin-plays.html

That’s it.  That was last Halloween.

House of the Dead 2 was one of the worst videos that she ever made.  It’s just her with a lightgun, one inch from the screen, screaming, “OMG!  WHAT WAS THAT” and clicking the really clicky trigger on this shit third party gun that she was advertising.

Kid Dracula was a cookie cutter Wikipedia-based “review” of a game that she never played before (or since) and she just said that everything is cute.

13 Spooky Retro Games was another contender for the worst episode ever where she just showed Twitch footage of 13 random games that she never played before and in some instances never played AT ALL.  Some of the footage is taken from MIKE’S Twitch streams.  

She apparently planned that shit out MONTHS in advance.  How is it possible?  It’s just more lies.

She also only appeared in costume one time and I think that it was after Halloween was over.  This is why Halloween is so important to the horntards.  They want to see Erin in a “sexy” costume.  But she failed to deliver.

Yeah, like Elijah over here.  He leaves a comment on Twitter.

“I just never get to see a good April O’Neil and am always hopeful one of my favorite content makers will do it someday hehe.”

Or Dragon Power:

“You look like April from ninja turtle”

She already did a half-assed April costume years ago.

All of her costumes are half-assed.  It’s like as a kid, going as a ghost for Halloween.  No effort at all.  It’s a total last minute thing.

So let me think of some GOOD Halloween “content” for Erin.  I say fuck the costumes.  I’m not jerking off to a 34 year old chubby Erin in some pathetic costume.  

And fuck video games.  She doesn’t know anything about them.  She hasn’t produced even ONE good video about video games after HUNDREDS of attempts.

So Halloween…*nostalgia*…California.  What about a video where she talks about her childhood experiences of going trick or treating in California?  If any.  But assuming she did anything, she could talk about what costumes she had as a kid, what sort of candy she liked getting, any school-related shit, whatever.  

I don’t really have any great Halloween memories.  I went trick or treating.  Somebody from my family would take me.  It was always a hassle.  Nobody wanted to do it.  I went with some neighbour kids once or twice.  I think just once.  When I was in the seventh or eighth grade, I went with a friend of mine.  We were getting too old by that point but we were doing it “ironically”.  We didn’t end up getting much candy because I wasn’t taking it seriously enough and then he was disappointed with his haul.

It must have been the eighth grade because I remember him saying that we should do it again next year but we didn’t do it.  Even when he said it, I thought, “We’ll be in high school…will we really still be trick or treating?”  And yeah, we didn’t.  We didn’t talk in high school.  I don’t even know why.  We went to the same school.  But whatever.  You get different friends.

I remember my neighbour was still trick or treating even after she got married.  That might have been too old.  If you’re married, it’s probably time to stop begging for candy.

And there was some lame school shit.  I remember dressing up in a costume in about the fourth grade.  I don’t know when it stopped.  There were also some lame Cub Scouts Halloween “parties”.  Nothing memorable from any of this.

I just don’t get the Halloween *nostalgia*.  Maybe because I never did anything memorable for Halloween.  And there’s a bittersweet feeling associated with it.  Like being in the eighth grade and realising that I can’t do this ever again.  Squandered opportunities.  A misspent youth.  Neglectful parents.  

Of course some people try to continue this Halloween shit into adolescence and adulthood but it’s lame as fuck.  Loser goth kids smoking hemp and playing on a ouija board or whatever.  I never did any of that so I can only speculate.

But I see adults, people my age, on Facebook and whatnot talking about going hunting for “orbs” and going to haunted houses and stupid shit like this.  Why?  You’re an adult.  

If you had shitty Halloweens as a kid, I can sympathise, but partaking in this childish shit as an adult is not going to change that.  Find something fulfilling in your life.  

Oh, what about Halloween specials?  Maybe Erin can talk about those.  Assuming that she’s seen any.  Like It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown or Garfield in Disguise.

I had the book Garfield in Disguise and it follows the movie almost exactly.  I used to be really amazed by that as a kid.  The cartoon would come on, I’d race to get the book, and I’d go through it as the show goes on and it’s identical.  Same words, same drawings.  It’s the most faithful book adaptation I’ve ever seen.  There were some minor differences but I don’t remember what they were

Erin can talk about movies, I guess.  Halloween movies.  I can’t really think of any.  Oh, Monster Squad.  I remember that being popular for a brief time in the sixth grade or so.  Not with me, I didn’t see it, but some of the dumber kids enjoyed it.  Then I saw it as an adult and…this is a real piece of shit.

What about Halloween tv episodes?  Roseanne always had them.  She may have popularised the concept.  I can’t remember if they were any good.  I haven’t seen the show since it was on in its original run.

Then other shows of the era followed suit.  Home Improvement no doubt had some shitty Halloween episodes.  Family Matters.  That whole dogshit TGIF line-up probably did.  The Simpsons, of course.  Not that Erin has seen the The Simpsons.  

I suppose that’s the difficulty, isn’t it?  Erin has never seen or done anything.  Well, she can watch something for the purposes of making a video.  

What about Scooby Doo?  Any of those would work.  Well, any of Scooby Doo Where Are You.  Possibly The New Scooby Doo Movies.  Don’t go beyond that.

Or Erin can just “review” a “spooky” game that she’s never played before and will never play again.  And possibly wear a shitty costume that she threw together at the last minute.  This is probably the most likely scenario.  But why not try something different?

I wrote all of the above a few days ago.  Erin has since tweeted some more stupid bullshit.  So here’s some *bonus* content.

https://twitter.com/ErinPlays_Games/status/1423870354435493894

It hurts to report this, but Dunder Mifflin shirts are officially the new “Bazinga!” shirts. There, I said it.

I remember back in like, 2012 or whenever that Big Bang Theory shit was popular, I would count people wearing Bazinga shirts whenever I’d leave the house. It’s totally that type of energy.

Why does she claim not to know when The Big Bang Theory was popular?  This was only ten years ago and it was her era.  She was in her early 20s.  She was in the target demographic.  

Why does she seemingly not know anything about anything?  Is this all an act and she’s under the misguided notion that this is somehow cute?  

So then everybody in the comments, including Dullard Ali, say, “Oh, I have a Dunder Mifflin shirt too” and Erin claims that she also has one.  

None of this makes sense.  This is somebody who wears t-shirts of children’s cartoons.  Children’s cartoons that she’s never seen before.  Children’s cartoons from before she was born.  

Does she consider this the height of fashion?  She’s so special that she doesn’t follow the trends.  She prefers to wear shirts of children’s cartoons that she’s not even familiar with?  

Thirty-three years old and this is what she’s doing with her life.  No job.  Buttsex for Youtube promotion “relationship”.  Talking about her contempt for t-shirts based on popular television shows.