https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vat-e30S4gA
I watched a bit of this live. They were playing at like 3 o’clock in the morning, their time. And I remember Erin playing Berzerk and claiming that it was one of her favourite games. And she went on to express confusion as to why the enemies suddenly start shooting on the second or third screen. Erin obviously was unaware of the fact that the enemies in Berzerk don’t shoot until the second or third screen. I think it’s the third. But yeah. One of her favourite games. But she didn’t know this little piece of information.
So let’s check it out. I expect loads of idiotic comments from Erin. I expect terrible gameplay from her. And I expect her to exhibit a total lack of knowledge of any of the games (in their non-hacked variety, of course) but she’ll explicitly state that she has close familiarity with said games. I’m so *nostalgic* for cognitive dissonance.
0:00 – “I am here with Erin of Erin Plays” and he does an even more awkward point than she does. He has his hands clasped, as though praying. Maybe right before the stream, Mike was appealing to God to help Erin through these games. If that’s the case, I fear that this stream will simply serve to illustrate that if God does exist, he’s an uncaring God.
So then Mike starts the game and invites Erin to guess what game this hack is supposed to be trying to recreate. Erin doesn’t play along with this ruse. She admits that she already knows that it’s Doom.
What a scumbag Mike is. Trying to pull the wool over the eyes of the horntards. Erin is having none of it. Erin is a beacon of honesty and righteousness.
1:00 – “Look at him go. I like how he walks.”
One might say…that his walk animation is rather…”cute”.
1:45 – Erin says, “I always forget what those are called.” Mike says, “Lost souls.”
Once again, Erin “always” “forgets” the name of some enemy. How often is she talking about fucking Doom? We know how often she’s playing Doom. She played it TWICE. On stream, for money. Over a year ago. And she was god awful.
Then Erin says, “So what is this a hack of again?”
Wait…what? Mike says, “This is a hack of Doom.”
But…a minute earlier, she said that she already knew that this hack was supposed to be Doom. And she was just talking about Doom enemies. So…what? How did she already forget? What exactly was she asking?
Maybe she was trying to ask like what the base game is. Because I don’t think that these games are made from scratch. I think that they take an existing game and tweak them.
Oh, and then Mike brings up this last point that I made. But yeah, Erin has no idea what any of this is.
2:15 – “I haven’t seen any of these hacks, by the way. So this is going to be a big surprise to me.”
One might say that she never played these before. And yeah…she’s really excited by this shit. Atari 2600 hacks. She can barely contain herself.
3:15 – “It looks like he’s wearing moon boots.”
This is like the third moon boot reference that she’s made in recent videos. Let me check the archives.
Well, I mentioned one example here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/05/erin-plays-and-mike-matei-stream-pac.html
She said, “Moon boots? I remember moon boots. I never had any but they were cool looking”. Riveting. Another story about something that she DIDN’T have.
3:30 – “Is the BFG in this? It might be.”
She was reading a question from the chat. She has NO IDEA what this is.
9:00 – “That looks like the little health…I almost said ‘buckets’. Health buckets! Whatever it is.”
She’s thinking of health packs. What a “gamer”!
So then Mike hands the controller to Erin. And she goes through the same three screens OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. She’s lost in a fucking Atari 2600 port of Doom. THREE SCREENS.
11:45 – Then she dies. She was completely lost. In fucking Doom for the Atari 2600. Over three screens.
Oh, I think that this is a highly edited stream. Let me see if the original is still on Twitch. Well, maybe not. The original is 2:34:41. The Youtube version is 2:12:01. Maybe he just cut out the shout outs to the horntards and thanking them for subscribing and whatnot.
12:15 – So then they play a hack called Beany (sic) Babies. Erin has no idea what she’s doing. Of course.
13:45 – “Want to hear where I got my first Beanie Baby?”
Totally. Mark this date. Erin is going to tell a story about something that she ACTUALLY GOT as opposed to just wanted or “remembered”.
Eugh. She got it at Disneyland. Fuck off.
20:30 – Erin starts talking about Disney again. Out of nowhere. FUCK OFF!
26:45 – Out of nowhere, Erin says, “This is fun.” Totally unconvincingly. She’s not even playing. It’s just Mike going through shitty hacks.
28:30 – Erin is playing a Pitfall hack and tries to jump through a wall on the first screen… She never fucking played Pitfall before. Or any game that has walls in it.
Oh my god. Then she repeatedly falls into a pit. And can’t jump over any enemies. And she doesn’t know how to jump off of the swinging vines.
She did an amazing job on the alligators, though. That’s the hardest part of the game, by far.
Then she died three times on a stationary crab (campfire) because she didn’t know how to jump. Three times.
30:00 – Then she gives up and says, “This is actually…interesting.”
Yeah. It’s Pitfall. That hack was just a sprite swap. She never played Pitfall before. So she’s blown away. It was probably the most ambitious Atari 2600 game. But this is all new to Erin.
30:30 – Erin asks how long Mike streamed Yar’s Revenge. He said, “Three hours and I’ll do it when I want, whenever I want.” Erin replies, “I don’t have a problem with that. I can do that with Fast Food.” Mike ignores this because he knows full well that she doesn’t stream games for that long because she complains about her wrists and she fucking hates video games. So then she clarifies, “For the Atari 2600.” Because she thought that Mike thought that she was talking about fast food the cuisine as opposed to Fast Food the game.
But yeah, Erin is all about cute food in video games. So we’ll look forward to that three hour Fast Food stream.
Then she does an offensive imitation of the retards in the chat who, she claims, would have thought, “Oh, she means fast food like a 24 hour stream?” She’s implying that the people in the chat would have thought that she was talking about the foodstuff as opposed to the game. But…no. It’s ERIN who thinks that Fast Food is some kind of obscure game that nobody would know and that’s why she clarified. But she only clarified because Mike ignored her comment. And he only ignored it because he knows full well that she wouldn’t do such a stream because she has no fucking interest in video games. He even rolled his eyes at her comment.
Then she says, mocking the retards in the chat, “She looks like the Wendy’s girl.”
That reminds me. Do I still have my art from my sub-Reddit? Let me look.
Ha. Here it is.
They’re playing a Lord of the Rings text adventure game and it’s clear that Erin doesn’t even know what a text adventure game is.
36:15 – “Moon Patrol Plus? I like Moon Patrol.”
Let’s see it then.
Well, she is jumping over the pits and shooting stuff.
She then says that she played the arcade version more than the Atari 2600 version. I can buy that. She presumably played the Atari 2600 version during an Atari 2600 “variety stream”.
37:45 – They’re playing an obviously two player game with just one player.
39:30 – Now they’re playing another obviously two player game with just one player. Why don’t they just get two fucking controllers and play the game together?
42:00 – They’re playing something called Vector Pac-Man and Erin says, “This is not Vector enough.” She doesn’t even see how this is similar in appearance to a Vector game. And she’s TERRIBLE at the game, of course. Immediately goes for the power pellets. “Power pellets? Is that what they’re called? It sounds weird to me.”
42:45 – “I’m playing this like it’s Pac-Man 99.”
Yeah. Poorly. Because that’s the only Pac-Man game you’ve ever played.
43:00 – Erin wants to play Panic at the Disco because she likes the band. She then says, “I thought it was going to be like a Panic at the Disco song.”
She’s a fucking moron. Mike just ignores all of this shit. How can he possibly put up with this DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY?
43:45 – Then she wants to play a game with “pineapple” in the title because she likes “cute fruit”.
46:00 – They choose a game called The Rock. Mike says, “I was expecting Dwayne Johnson.” Then, in a nerdy voice, Erin says, “Yeah, where’s Dwayne?”
She has no fucking idea who this is.
And this is how she is with everything. She never says, “Who’s that?” or something similar. She just repeats what’s being said and pretends that she understands. Because she doesn’t know ANYTHING other than Disney shit and 1990s pop music.
46:30 – “My mom likes River Raid II”.
This has to be a joke. Erin’s mother is not playing video games. And you know why she chose this game? Because they’re on the fucking “R” in this list of games and “River Raid II” was the last game she saw. So when some horntard asked Erin what her mother’s favourite Atari game is, Erin just said the last game that she saw.
Or maybe Erin’s mother is genuinely a big time River Raid II fanatic. It is one of the better games, after all. When can we look forward to an Erin Plays’ Mother Youtube channel? I want to see Mrs Plays getting the kill screen on River Raid II.
46:45 – Erin says that the Rock was in Journey to the Center of the Earth. So maybe she does know who he is. At least insofar as his acting career.
Oh. No. I think that she was just reading from the chat.
50:30 – Erin is playing a Skate or Die game and she has no idea what she’s doing.
I think that that’s enough for me.