https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUFP6nOKbYY
Hey guys! Remember Ghostbusters cereal?
I remember, John. I never ate that shit. Weren’t those cereals made by a dog food company? Even as a child, I made the connection and thought that it was suspicious. It was Ralston or something.
Oh yeah. According to Wikipedia, they went out of business in 2001. Merged with Nestle, who also, apparently makes dog food. Makes me re-think the chocolate. Not that I ever buy Nestle chocolate anyway. Is it even sold in the UK? I think it is but I never see it.
What the fuck did I eat…oh Nestle Crunch. That’s the only Nestle product that I recall ever eating. This was in the US. They were okay, I guess. But looking back, I wouldn’t eat that shit chocolate today.
Anyway, John Riggs.
3:00 – So after reviewing the cereal box and comparing the ingredients to Madalorian (or whatever) cereal (which is made by the same company, something that he didn’t point out) he takes the cereal out for a taste test.
He has a beat up old ET tv tray. Hey guys! Remember ET? Remember tv trays?
Yes, John. I remember this shit. But it’s 2021. Do you want to join us in the present?
It’s just sad. All of these stupid *nostalgia* channels. These people are mentally ill. They have miserable lives so they retreat into their childhoods. Or in some cases, to a period before they were even fucking born.
Then he complains that the pieces aren’t red enough (even though they appear to be the same colour as they are on the box) and brings up “that red food dye from the 80s”.
Hey guys! Remember that cancer-causing food dye from the 80s?
Yes, John. I remember that. But according to Wikipedia, it was actually banned in 1976.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amaranth_(dye)
THIS WAS 45 YEARS AGO. GET WITH THE TIMES.
3:45 – Then he eats some. Dry. Noisily. “Well, tastes like cereal.”
He should be a professional food critic.
4:15 – He talks about his passion for omini milk but says he doesn’t have any at the moment so uses 2%. “We didn’t have omini milk back in the 80s.”
What the fuck even is this?
OH! Almond. He pronounced it a little more clearly the second time. Yeah, I don’t drink that shit. But hey guys! Remember cow milk?
Yeah. You can go to the store right now and buy some. Whole milk. 2%. Whatever you want. The calorific difference is negligible, though, so if you’re watching your weight, either eliminate milk entirely or just go with whole milk for the better flavour. Don’t try to fool yourself that you’re slimming down by drinking 2% milk. It’s like how people treat Diet Coke or similar diet carbonated beverages.
Hey guys! Remember when John Riggs was slim? Yeah, but this was like 30 years ago. Back before he gave up on life.
5:00 – Then he puts a heaping spoonful of this stuff into his gaping maw.
He declares the cereal to have a “generic” flavour.
He goes on to acknowledge that this is just a corporate cash grab. They’re releasing a re-packed cereal that they already sell (under numerous brand names) and hoping that *nostalgic* loser adults like John Riggs will buy it. The same way that cereal used to be marketed to children. Now it’s marketed to dumb *nostalgic* adults.
I remember when the Super Mario Bros cereal came out. I never wanted this shit and we never got any.
But I was in the grocery store one day and I overheard a young Mexican boy holding the cereal and asking his mother to buy it. He was trying to sell it to her. “It’s two cereals in one.” But the mother just said, “Yes, you’re watching too much television.” “Two cereals in one” was the slogan from the commercials.
This woman wasn’t having it. She knew that this was just a slick marketing campaign aimed at children.
There was another time when I was in Toys R Us and there were a couple of Mexican boys looking at the scale car section. They didn’t seem to speak much English but I overheard “Hot Wheeeels”. So they at least knew that much English. It’s from the commercials that would play in the 1980s. Commercials advertising products from the Mattel corporation. Targeting children.
That’s all this is. I’m not *nostalgic* for this corporate shit.
But hey guys! Remember Mexicans?
I do remember Mexicans. When I was in grade school, there were a few. Maybe 5% of my classmates. More would join as the years went by.
Then in high school, it was like a third Mexican. Something like this.
I always liked them. They were pleasant people. I associated with them. Never a problem. I’ve had white kids try to give me shit but never Mexican kids.
That school is now 80% Mexican. What happened?
I visited my hometown a few years ago. Loads of Mexican restaurants and grocery stores and whatnot. The billboards are in Spanish. Everyone in the neighbourhood under the age of 60 is Mexican.
I’m all for it. Who doesn’t like tacos and big-titted brown women? It’s just surprising. Where did all the impoverished white people move to?
I’m so *nostalgic* for impoverished white people.