https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzvMeR10fB0
Before we even get started, let me tell you why these sort of videos don’t work: Erin doesn’t know shit about video games.
She doesn’t say “these are the BEST nine games that take place in a mall” but it’s implied. When you’re making a video about the “best” whatever, you have to have deep knowledge on the subject matter.
“Here are the nine best NES games”. You better have played every fucking NES game before you make such a video or some nerd is going to say, “What about this game? You forgot about this game. This game should have been on there.”
Best NES game is too broad. Maybe you could narrow it down to something manageable like “Nine best puzzle games for the NES.”
Erin went the other way. She’s going to tell you the nine best games that feature malls in the entirety of gaming history.
Now, if there was a list of such games, that would be one thing. She could just play the games on the list. But there is no such list. So she’s implying that she has such vast experience with video games that she can come up with her own list and tell you the nine best games that feature malls.
In reality, this list was compiled by suggestions from her horny, mentally challenged fans, Google, and Mike Matei. She has no first hand experience with any of these games. She has never played a single one of these games before making this video. And quite possible, she won’t even play the games for the video. Let’s find out.
EIGHTEEN MINUTES? I better go eat something first. Keep my strength up for this bullshit.
0:00 – “Hey guys! Erin here!”
New intro. Kind of.
And she’s wearing an Mtv shirt. Hey guys! Remember Mtv?
Sure, I remember them, Erin. Not the stuff from the 80s when they played music but the stuff from the 90s when they did wacky shit. Wait…that’s what you’re talking about? You remember the Mtv from the 1990s when they showed Aeon Flux and The Tom Green Show and Remote Control? How? You were an infant. It would be like me talking about how awesome Pauly Shore was on Mtv. I don’t fucking remember this shit. And I wasn’t watching Mtv as a kid. Were you? Most people started watching as teenagers. This would have been about 2000 for you.
Fucking ridiculous.
“I know it’s a weird topic but I’ve also done a video about sunsets so you should kind of expect this kind of content from me.”
Oh. Because you did one video like three years ago on a similar “best of” variety, we should just expect this.
0:15 – “Growing up in the 90s, I was lucky enough to get the final taste of classic mall culture.”
Does Erin even know what year she was born in? It was like 1989. So she was 10 years old in 1999. She should have little to no memory of most of this decade. She was too young to form memories for a lot of these years.
And in the later years of the decade, when she was like 8 to 10 years old, was she going to malls? With who? Her parents? She was too young to be hanging out in the mall with her friends, right?
So understand what she’s talking about. She’s *nostalgic* for these three years from 1997 to 1999 when she was going to the mall with her parents. Is that what ANYBODY thinks of when they think of “mall culture”? A nine year old going to Kohl’s to buy school slacks with their parents?
Why does everything have to be a lie with Erin? Just talk about the 2000s when you were a teenager. What’s the big deal? Why is she so adverse to that? Why pretend that you’re from an era other than the one that you’re actually from? Especially when we can all do the arithmetic and see that this is a giant fucking lie?
“My childhood arcade was Aladdin’s Castle.”
Oh, do tell, Erin. How many wasted seconds of your misspent youth did you spend there?
0:30 – “One of my last memories there was playing DDR there on my 16th birthday.”
Let’s see a “DDR” stream, Erin. The horndogs would love it. Do they have pads for that? Oh. Yeah, they do. I don’t know what console or whatever such games are on. Super gamer grrl Erin can figure it out.
“Maybe I spent too much time at the mall growing up but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
You’re talking about the 2000s, right? Not “the 90s”. Why not say it?
1:00 – Dead Rising.
Come on. Erin has never fucking played this before. It’s a first person shooter.
There’s gameplay footage and Erin claims to have played the PC version (“I played it on Steam”…) but this is not footage that she recorded. It can’t be.
I’m thinking of a similar “top (whatever)” video that she did that used footage from Mike’s streams . No joke. She used footage from Mike’s stream, didn’t include the little video of Mike, and tried to pass it off as her own.
God, there is no fucking way. She keeps showing this footage and…it’s impossible. She never fucking played this. Has Mike done a stream of this before?
2:45 – Rugrats: Totally Angelica.
I’m just not buying this. She’s showing a fair amount of footage in these games. When did she play them? In her spare time? Fuck off. She’s not doing that.
5:00 – Barbie. Some NES game that she played before on stream, for money. Also for a Youtube video, for money.
Wait a minute. Why isn’t she just showing footage from her stream? She probably is but she just took out the window of her playing, same as what she did when she stole Mike’s Twitch stream footage. There must be a way to do this if you have the raw footage.
7:30 – She claims that the game is “addicting”. This is her word de jure of late.
7:45 – Bart Versus the Space Mutants.
Yeah, she did a Youtube video on this one too. Briefly. It was in one of her “worst games on the NES” videos.
And again, there’s way, way, WAY more footage than I’m prepared to believe Erin actually recorded of herself playing. It’s showing multiple stages. And the gameplay is way too good to be Erin.
9:15 – Zombies Ate My Neighbors.
Mike definitely did a stream of this. That’s what this footage is from. It has to be.
10:15 – “It’s a Super Nintendo gem that’s highly addicting.”
Change the record.
10:15 – Some Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen “game”.
I definitely saw footage of this game before. Where would I have seen it? James and Mike Mondays? Again, Erin stole this footage from somewhere.
13:15 – Wait. What. Erin describes herself as a “Tween girl in the Y2k era.”
I just wasn’t prepared for this. Is Erin actually saying something truthful in regards to her age? She’s placing herself in the accurate era for the accurate age. I can’t believe that this is happening.
14:00 – Doom Eternal.
Huh. This is a game that she PLANNED on playing, on stream for money. And to prepare herself, she started playing the original Doom (some modded version, anyway) on stream, for money. I reviewed that here:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/original-doom-practice-stream-okay-let.html
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/playing-some-original-doom-erin-plays.html
That was from nearly a year ago. She never ended up playing Doom Eternal because she was HORRIBLE at the original Doom and was clearly out of her depth.
But…now she has played Doom Eternal? Mike definitely streamed this game so I assume that this is where the footage comes from.
No, this can’t be her. She couldn’t even play the original Doom because it was the first time that she played a game “with mouse and keyboard.” The mod she was playing allowed you to look around with the mouse like in modern FPSs.
Then she says, “When I first played this last year…”
No. She didn’t play this. At least not on stream, for money. So was she playing in her spare time? It’s impossible.
15:15 – “Even though I’m not that good at this game, I completely love it.”
She never played a game “with mouse and keyboard” before. This is what she said last year. So that’s the entire FPS genre out. She never played a first person shooter until last year when she started with the original Doom, on stream, for money. And she was HORRIBLE at it. The worst Doom footage ever committed to video.
Now she says that she loves the game. But she never streamed it. So she was playing this in her spare time? COME ON! It’s an insult to the intelligence. Erin doesn’t play games in her spare time. Only on stream, for money.
And why would she suddenly take an interest in first person shooters? It’s not a genre that women are generally interested in. Even women who like video games. Erin is a woman who DOESN’T like video games. Why the fuck would she be playing this?
I’m a guy, I have a passing interest in GOOD first person shooters, and I’ve never played Doom Eternal. But this is now Erin’s favourite game.
Why did she never stream this? That was her original goal last year: to stream Doom Eternal. If she loves the game so much, why hasn’t she streamed it?
Then she talks about a cute Doom enemy…
15:30 – Some Lizzy McGuire game.
She describes herself as a “millennial girl”. Is that right? It sounds right but I’m just not used to Erin being truthful. Let me DuckDuckGo the year of birth range for “millennials”.
Born between the early 80s and the early 2000s. So…that’s right.
Anyway, yeah, she streamed this game before. On stream for money. And/or she made a Youtube video of it on stream, for money.
16:45 – Oh yeah. She promotes the video.
16:45 – Jay and Silent Bob: Mall Brawl
She claims to have seen Mallrats. This is a historic moment. This might just be the first time that Erin has claimed to have seen a movie before.
Wait. What? “Clerks is one of my favourite movies.”
This is just overwhelming. TWO movies that she’s seen before. Mark this day.
She didn’t even mention that the game is obviously “inspired” by River City Ransom. She never played that game before.
17:45 – “Can you think of any that I missed? You’re probably thinking of Beavis and Butthead and Space Quest, right?”
Space Quest, you say. Let’s check the archives.
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/01/mike-and-erin-look-for-bad-snes-games.html
“Oh. What’s the space one that’s like, it was like King’s Quest and there was a fake one? Because I’m not a PC person.”
That was two months ago. Two months ago, Erin didn’t even know the NAME of Space Quest. But now she’s all about it. She knows that the game features a mall. And she thinks that EVERYONE knows about this.
No. I didn’t know. I knew about Space Quest but I never played any of those games. It’s not a particularly popular series, especially these days. It’s a bit before my time, actually. I wouldn’t expect anyone under the age of 45 to be familiar with the series to the extent that they know that it features a mall.
But Erin doesn’t know any of this. And she didn’t even know the name of the game TWO MONTHS AGO. So has she been playing it in her spare time since then? This old fucking text-based game? Or maybe she’s playing the “newer” ones from “the 90s” that were point and click adventure games.
How could she have found the time? She’s apparently playing A LOT of games in her spare time these days. Nobody can play these many games. There aren’t enough hours in the day.
Apparently, Erin is just all about video games now. She’s playing this shit in her spare time. 16 hours a day. Wrists be damned. Good for her. It’s taken her over four years of being a fake gamer grrl on Youtube but now she can honestly say that she’s the real deal. She genuinely likes video games now and she’s playing them ALL THE TIME. On stream, off stream, whenever. Glad to hear it.
Anyway, she ends the video by inviting the horndogs to mention other games that feature malls. Umm…no, I’m drawing a blank. Let’s see what DuckDuckGo has to say.
Vice City? I don’t remember a mall. I didn’t get too far in the game, though.
Here’s an article that mentions Space Quest’s mall:
This might be where Erin did her “research”.
I don’t know. Not much is coming up. Let’s see what the horndogs say.
Oh, I thought of one. SimTower.
– “I actually had to do things to me while watching this”
– “How old is Erin Plays?”
Erin replies with “33”.
– “Hey guys remember malls ?”
Aw. He stole my bit.
But yeah, basically nobody had any mall game suggestions. Too busy jerking off.
There’s the Smackdown Mall in WWF No Mercy.
I think that Crazy Taxi had a mall.
Any of these open world games that take place in the modern world probably have a mall. All of the 3D Grand Theft Autos, for example. Maybe even the 2D ones.
It was probably Bitch Duo who recorded gameplay for her.
Haha. Yeah. It's a real possibility.
erin has stated once that she was born in 1987. also, according to information gleaned online, her birthday is on november 10th, which makes her a scorpio, which is unfortunate as it makes me related to her
I confess ignorance on how astrology works but 1987. I'll note that. Thanks.