Playing MORE of my Kid's Mario Maker 2 Levels – Cinemassacre

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HFTaqWbP2Y

At this point, I’m convinced that James and/or his handlers are intentionally trying to destroy the channel.  How else do you explain this?

He already did a video on this.  It was stupid but as a one off I can overlook it.

Now he’s doing it again.  

We get it.  You’re proud of your children.  But here’s the thing: nobody else gives a fuck about them.  That’s just the reality.  You can be proud of your children, you can think that they’re the smartest and most creative and most well behaved children on earth and maybe they are.  But nobody fucking cares.  Indeed, everybody else on earth finds this to be really, really boring and awkward.  

This doesn’t just apply to Jimmy, of course.  It applies to parents as a whole.  Nobody wants to hear about your children.  They just don’t.  

MAYBE talk to other parents about this shit.  Maybe they can appreciate this shit.  But single men, without children, who surely make up the lionshare of the audience, don’t fucking care.  

It’s like when Jimmy showed off his daughter’s four leaf clover collection to the Screenwave crew and they just looked at each other and smiled nervously.  They didn’t know how to respond.  They don’t have children.  What would have been the appropriate response?  “Oh, that’s really cool, James.  Your daughter is so creative.”  No.  That would be weird.  They don’t know your daughter and they don’t want to know your daughter.   

0:00 – Hey, new haircut for Rainman.  He seems to have got the sides cut pretty short.  Maybe this is a test run for a number 4 all over.  

So he’s going to show some levels made by his three year old daughter.  “How many of these can actually be beaten?”  Isn’t it all of them?  Don’t you have to beat the level before you can upload it?  

And I find it really hard to believe that a three year old is making Mario levels.  But obviously James’ daughter is some kind of super genius.  Even though James himself is…well…special.

0:15 – But first a word from our sponsor!

They’re actually sponsoring this video like anybody on earth GIVES A FUCK about this shit.  Oh, I know you guys are dying to watch me play Mario levels that my three year old daughter made, but first you have to sit through a commercial for spectacles.

You know, here’s an idea: why doesn’t James play Mario levels that fans made?  Wouldn’t that be a nice thing to do?  Might make a nice little video.  I’m sure that there are some creative people out there who are making interesting levels.  Might be interesting to see how Rainman does on them.

No.  Let’s just do a video where he plays levels that a three year old made.  Again.

1:30 – He plays the first level.  There are just a bunch of random enemies and shit polluting the level and it took him about five seconds to beat it.  This level sucks ass.  It looks like a three year old made it.  Oh right.  

2:00 – Next level.  It’s edited to shit.  Can we see the whole fucking level?  What’s the point of this edited shit?  

He continues to die over and over and over again.  I refuse to believe that his three year old daughter was able to beat this level unless there’s some hidden entrance that gets you past all of this shit, and I don’t think that a three year old would be clever enough for that.  

And again, don’t you have to beat the level in order to upload it?  That was the case for the first Mario Maker.  Maybe these aren’t uploaded.

It takes him to 7:30 before he beats it.  The level is, again, really short and really shit.  I didn’t watch all of this, to be honest.  I got bored around the 2:15 mark so skipped ahead.  But he probably played this level for at least two hours.  

Where does he find the time?  You can play a shitty Mario Maker level for two hours?  That’s a luxury.

7:30 – He plays some other level, briefly.

8:00 – Then another level.

Oh, and these levels are all named.  Are you able to read and write at the age of three?  I don’t think so.  I know that James’ daughter is a genius and all but…what’s the average age for learning to read and write?  

It seems that 3 and a half to about 5 is when people learn to write their names.  But James’ daughter named all of these levels and the spelling is perfect.  She’s a real prodigy, I guess.  

I’m not watching any more of this.  This is fucking trash.  The levels are bad.  I don’t want to watch this.  There’s nothing cute or funny or entertaining about this.

The comments are all about how “wholesome” this is.  If James wants to play his daughter’s Mario levels and take an interest in what she’s doing, that’s great.  But I don’t want to watch it.  That’s fucking boring.  There’s no entertainment value in that.  

What’s next?  Are we going to see James at his daughter’s piano recital?  I don’t want to fucking watch that.  

James’ JOB is to make Youtube videos.  The videos are supposed to be good.  They’re supposed to be entertaining.  I don’t give the slightest of fucks if James is a good father or not.  MAKE GOOD VIDEOS, COCK SUCKER!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZFdeOW8QrU]

2 thoughts on “Playing MORE of my Kid's Mario Maker 2 Levels – Cinemassacre

  1. what seems more likely is that james parades the feats of his two daughters around as a statement that he was able to mate with mrs nerd and impregnate her, as if to convince the audience that he isn't a virgin. as if it were some sort of grand achievement and he came out triumphant. as evidenced by a number of his own videos, he likes to picture himself as the underdog who managed to “accomplish” something despite all the odds stacked up against him. him becoming a “dad” is no different. i have a couple of acquaintances who are fathers themselves. they never bring their children up in a conversation. only when there is a context behind it and the conversation already has some legs under it, so it doesn't feel forced nor out of place. randomly bringing up the fact that you have children with people who aren't parents themselves isn't a sign of sound social awareness.

  2. Yeah, that's a good point. We can also link it to his poo fetish. He has an unconscious envy of women's capacity for childbirth that he channels through pride in his own excretion and, by proxy, through his wife giving birth.Anyway, for a highly autistic man, he did pretty well for himself but it all hinges on AVGN. If it weren't for that, where would he be? Still editing videos? I think that his wife was with him at the time so that might not have changed. He obviously didn't trade up when he became famous.

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