https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hlb211q0fZU
This is my second attempt at this video. I had to stop after about two minutes the first time. She’s just so fucking boring. I don’t understand how anyone can watch this shit.
What I should do is search for a more interesting video to review. But that would take more effort.
So let’s head off to Dreamland with our hostess Princess Nytol.
0:00 – “It has been a while since I reviewed or even played a Genesis game.”
Yeah. Me too, Pamela. I had a Genesis, maybe it’s still somewhere, but the last time I played it must have been…I don’t know…twenty years ago? More than that? Probably more.
I had a Genesis emulator, presumably. I had emulators for just about every old console. But I don’t remember playing anything on it. I know that I did but nothing springs to mind so I couldn’t have been spending that much time on it. The last time was like 15 years ago maybe.
I don’t really understand the appeal of retro games, to be honest. I played them when they came out (so not retro) and I played them when I first discovered emulation but I’m not doing that shit now. If I want to play a game, I play something made in the last ten years or so. I only have a handful of games that I play, really. Sometimes something new enters the rotation but not often. But I’m not going back to fucking NFL ’95 on the Genesis. Why would I? Games have improved tremendously since 1995.
I can see playing an old game once in a great while for the novelty value. See what games used to be like. It’s interesting from a historical perspective. I can even see playing them for a bit just because they’re fun. I play Punch Out once a year or so. It’s fun for a few minutes. Same with the Super Mario Bros games. And Air Zonk. Shit like this. But regularly? Why?
1:00 – She says both “shuriken” and “katana”. Here’s where I turned it off the first time I was watching this dreck. How fucking pretentious can anybody be? “Star” and “sword”. Do we need the Japanese.
I used to take karate as a kid at some McDojo. And you’d see this fake Japanese bullshit. He had like a little wooden house on the wall and a rock painted as a Buddha head with one eye. Buddha lost his eye through intensive meditation, of course. Oh, and he had LOADS of wooden swords on the walls but nobody ever touched them. They were for decoration only.
We also had to say “os” instead of “yes”. I guess that’s what “os” means. Why we couldn’t just say “yes”, I have no idea. It was stupid and embarrassing.
Oh, apparently it’s “osu”. I DuckDuckGo’d it.
I remember that there was also a picture of some old Japanese guy in this guy’s office. He was the apparent the founder of this particular style of karate.
It’s all fucking bullshit. That guy “teaching” us didn’t know ANYTHING about karate. I never saw him throw a single punch or kick. I was already a pro by this time, having taken martial arts for many years in other “dojos”, so I was able to recognise bullshit. And this was bullshit.
All the fucking made up mysticism and using terms that may or may not be Japanese. Fuck off. Just teach me how to smash a guy’s face in. That’s what I signed up for.
1:30 – Interesting pronunciation of “ninjistu”. She said “nin-joot-su” for some reason. I guess that’s how Canadian ninjas pronounce it.
4:00 – Oh, I just noticed that Pam is wearing a Star Wars t-shirt. Hey guys! Remember Star Wars?
I remember Star Wars, Pam. But should you, as a nearly 40 year old woman, really be wearing a Star Wars t-shirt?
I might lose people on this one, but I haven’t worn a t-shirt in probably 20 years. I’m an adult. And I NEVER wore nerd t-shirts past the age of about 12 or so.
6:15 – She refers to one of the bosses as a “robot dinosaur”. I think that it’s supposed to be like Mecha Godzilla. I’m not sure if I take points off for this one or not.
Oh fuck. Thank god it’s over.
So that was another boring as fuck video from Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining. She just fucking, I don’t know, reviewed this old game. There’s not much to say about it.
– “Play more genesis games, you’ll see that these top games like Shinobi 3 are games that are much better than God of war games or the Assassin Creed games.”
I never played either of those games but this guy is out of his mind. Jerking off to old games.
– “Pam when are you doing another cosplay video”
– “Ok so you are telling us you finished this in one afternoon without ever playing this before ? That’s kinda hard to believe. Even if you save stated through the entire game it’s still hard to believe. But hey….. who am i to judge? Its not like im a speedrunner or something and someone who knows this game really well 🤣 . So what are you going to claim next ? You beat Ninja Gaiden on NES without ever playing it before ? Or you beat Battletoads on NES first try on your lunch break? C’mon there are two persons here who know you’re lying thats me and you.”
I thought that as well. Well, not the save state part. You could probably save state your way through the game in one day. But I did find it peculiar that she said that she beat the game in one day.
Mike does this a lot too. He’ll be on stream and he’ll say, “I never played this before but I’m going to try to beat it.”
It’s ridiculous. These games aren’t intended to be beaten in a day. Nobody would buy them if they could be beaten in a day.
– “Sup babe wanna go get a beer”
This one was kind of funny. He obviously doesn’t expect it to work.
– “I guess this game is an artifact of its time. I was wondering why you were calling the small knife that the protagonist is throwing a shuriken, because it looks like a kunai. I looked up the instruction manual and sure enough, the translators called it a shuriken. I guess when it was translated for the west, the Japanese counterpart didn’t have any say, or didn’t see the manual before it was released. Gotta love the 90s. Haha.”
We all know that it’s a kunai, jackass. Now go watch some tentacle hentai and play with your maikuropenisu.