Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAgxDKADGDY

This is Erin’s lazy follow up to her 5 BAD NES Games video.  I review that video here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/08/5-bad-nes-games-erin-plays.html

I didn’t mention it in that review, but this is a reference to the Angry Video Game Nerd.  I guess?  His first video was called “5 Bad NES Games” or something.

Why would Erin think that it’s okay to blatantly rip this off?  What association does she have with James Rolfe?  Especially now that Mike was kicked out or quit or whatever happened.

0:00 – “Hey guys!  So I thought it would be fun to play some bad Super Nintendo games.”

For a Youtube video.  For money.  Of course.

“Now these aren’t the worst Super Nintendo games of all time or anything like that.”

Well, obviously.  You don’t have nearly enough experience with Super Nintendo to be able to make any kind of list whatsoever.  

So this is just going to be random games that she discovered in one of her “variety streams”.  Is it just going to be clips from her streams?  Let me skim…no, doesn’t seem to be.  So this is the most effort that she’s put into a video in over a month.

0:15 – Ren and Stimpy: Time Warp.  

“There’s the Nickelodeon logo that we all know and love.  The new Nickelodeon logo is so soulless.  Like, have you seen it?”

No.  No, I haven’t.  I’m an adult.  I haven’t kept up with Nickelodeon since about the age of 15 or so.

0:30 – “Seems like a good start.  We have some Pepto Bismo or something going down.”

She’s referring to some pink slime or something on  the title screen.  “X looks like Y”.  That’s funny, right?  And yeah, she obviously has never played this before.  

1:45 – “I really liked Ren & Stimpy as a kid.  My mom didn’t really like me watching it.”

No, of course not.  I’m surprised that Erin’s parents even let her do that much.  She seems to have spent her entire childhood in some sort of seclusion.

“I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t get any of the Ren & Stimpy games when I was a kid.”

I’m not surprised at all.  YOU DIDN’T PLAY VIDEO GAMES, ERIN!  THAT’S WHY YOU DIDN’T HAVE THIS SHIT!

There’s a psychological phenomena where if you keep saying something, even though you know it’s a lie, you start to believe it.  I think that’s what has happened here.  Erin has spent so many years claiming to be a gamer grrl, even though she clearly has no experience with video games, that now she believes it.  And when she looks back at her life pre-fake gamer grrl on Youtube, she can’t reconcile the reality with this fake “reality” that she’s created for herself.  

“If I’m such a hardcore gamer playing all of these retro games on stream, for money, why didn’t I play any games as a kid?”

It creates a damaging cognitive dissonance.  It can lead to dissociation and stuff like this.  You see it sometimes in her videos.  There’s at least one video where she just start laughing and says, “Sorry, I was just thinking about how absurd my life is.”  Something like that.  I don’t have the exact quote.  But she had a momentary realisation that she made some really bad choices in life and how would her life have been different had she not made these choices.

“Probably because my mom didn’t want me to have the Ren & Stimpy games.”

This is the reasoning that she’s come up with to try to piece this all together.  I love video games.  I love Ren & Stimpy.  So why didn’t my mother let me have Ren & Stimpy games?  It must be because my mother didn’t like Ren & Stimpy.

No.  The true answer is that Erin didn’t play video games.  She had two fucking SNES games: Mario All-Stars and Yoshi’s Island.  And she didn’t play them.

2:30 – She’s at the level 1 boss.  It’s a dog.  She obviously has never been here before.  She hits the dog three times and then complains, “Come on.  How many slaps does it take?”

Well…more than three.  That would be some disappointing boss fight if it died at only three hits.  It’s easy to hit the dog multiple times.

Then she dies.

2:45 – “And it takes you all the way back to the beginning.  I am not playing this again.”

Why did you even play it the first time?  This whole thing is ridiculous.  Go see if your job at the record store is still available.

Then she can’t even remember the name of the game.

3:00 – “Now let’s move on to Time Cop.  Yes, it is based on the movie, which I have never seen!”

Of course you haven’t, Erin.  It’s really sad.  Doing all of this shit that you have absolutely no knowledge of or interest in.  I mean…are Jean Claude Van Dam movies from “the 90s” something that most women are interested in?  And Erin was like five years old when this movie came out.

“But I don’t really think that will be a problem when playing this game?”

You know what might be a problem, though?  Never having played the game before.

3:15 – “First thing’s first, the graphics are obviously, ummm, not too good.”

For a brief moment, I thought that Erin was going to mention how this game uses motion capture graphics.  Like in Mortal Kombat or Pit Fighter or whatever.  But then I realised that Erin doesn’t know what motion capture graphics are.  And she’s unfamiliar with the games Mortal Kombat and Pit Fighter.

She doesn’t have a clue what’s going on.  She’s complaining about having limited ammunition.  I’ve never played the game before but I suspect that there’s a kick button or something and you’re supposed to save your ammunition for particularly heated moments.  But she’s going around shooting everything and then complaining that she runs out of bullets.  “It’s so bad.  It’s so bad.”  

She doesn’t know how the game fucking works.  She’s playing this shit for the first time ever, doesn’t know what’s going on, plays it for 30 seconds, declares that it’s bad, and then moves on to the next game where this is process is repeated.  She did the exact same thing in the NES version of this video.  

4:30 – “I guess each enemy only takes one bullet?  I don’t know.  I’ll find out.  Okay.  One.  So I was wrong.  But still, give me more than four bullets.”

She shot the guy three times but thinks that she only shot him once.  You can clearly see the ammo count on screen.  And from the graphics, you can see that more than one bullet was fired.  But she thinks it was only one shot.

And yeah, there’s a kick button.

4:45 – “So now I have no more bullets.  Great.”

And she zooms in on the ammo counter that previously said “3” and now says “0”.  So she’s aware of what this means but…didn’t notice that it said “3” before she shot this guy?

5:00 – Space Ace.  “This is from the Dragon’s Lair, Don Bluth family.”

What an odd reference.  Don Bluth?  Who the fuck is this?

He worked on Dragon’s Lair and American Tail.  

Now, Erin has said before that she’s never seen American Tail.  No surprises there.  So she can’t know him from that.

So she knows him from Dragon’s Lair?  No.  She fucking Googled this.  That’s why she knows that Space Ace is related to Dragon’s Lair, which is another obscure piece of trivia that of course Erin would not know about.

“So you know it’s not going to be good.”

What?  Dragon’s Lair was a hugely popular arcade game.  It was shit but it was hugely popular.

I think that Erin is talking about the NES Dragon’s Lair game, which was only loosely based on the arcade game.  I think that she played this game on stream, for money, in one of her “variety streams”.  

That’s the only familiarity she has with Dragon’s Lair.  She doesn’t even know that it was an arcade game.  

“Years ago, I did do a video on Dragon’s Lair about getting through the drawbridge part.”

Oh.  So yeah, this is her experience with the game.  A shitty Youtube video where she only got past the first screen.

6:00 – “Is that a dick behind him.”

Something for the horndogs.  “Erin said ‘dick’….oh yeah!”

“I’ll be honest, I’ve never gotten past this part.”

She’s talking about the first screen.  And yeah, BECAUSE YOU NEVER PLAYED THE GAME BEFORE!

This guy shoots a laser in a particular pattern.  The same pattern every time.  Erin can’t remember what the pattern is so always dies after like the third shot.  So she says, “Fuck it, I’m done.”  This was shortly after her declaring that she’s going to make an effort to get past this part.

6:30 – “Next up, we have probably one of the worst beat em ups I have ever played.”

Well, I can’t recall you EVER playing a beat em up so that doesn’t mean anything.  

It’s Bebe’s Kids.  Let’s see if she ever mentions that this was based on a movie.  Unless she Googled this one too, she won’t know.

“So, of course, it’s based on the movie from the early 90s.”

She Googled it.

“Which I haven’t seen.”

And she laughs nervously.  Of course you haven’t seen it, Erin.

7:15 – “Look in the back.  It says ‘No Bevis'” and she flashes a picture of Beavis from Beavis & Butthead.

Mike was talking about Daria in one of his recent streams.  How much he loves Daria.  He was talking about how she started on Beavis & Butthead.  This was clearly new information to him.  He didn’t know about this.  But he’s also talked many times about how much he loves Beavis & Butthead.

So how could he not know that Daria started on Beavis & Butthead?  I’ve seen maybe two episodes and I know this.

But yeah, it was sad to hear.  Erin has talked about her love for Daria.  She’s obviously making him watch this shit and he has to pretend to like it.  And she doesn’t even like it.  So both of them are watching a show that neither one of them actually likes but they’re both pretending that they enjoy it.  Her entire life is a lie.

7:45 – “So basically, all you can do is punch.”

This was said right after footage of her doing multiple jump kicks.

“And kind of kick?  There we go.”

So he also has a normal kick attack.  But she played the game for ten seconds and immediately declared it to be shit.  Without even knowing the controls.

8:45 – Race Drivin;.  She starts with flaunting her Google facts.

She doesn’t know the controls of this game either and never played it before so she performs poorly and declares the game to be bad.

That’s the video.  She plays these games for literally, I would say, less than a minute (and I mean real time, not video time), doesn’t know the controls, doesn’t know anything about the games, does poorly, and says that the games are shit.

Maybe they are.  But I don’t think that playing a game for one minute is sufficient to be able to do a review on them.

– “I  grew up with the SNES, but as an adult I’ve learned there are a lot of great games on the Genesis. They’re just different consoles. For example, Genesis has waaay more shmups which is awesome.”

That was Erin replying to some ass licking comment.  Mike made almost the exact same comment recently in a stream.

Has Erin EVER played a “shmup”?  The only time I remember is when she was doing a stream with Mike and Mike actually had to tell her to move further down the screen to give more reaction time.  

It was a vertical shooter and she was constantly in the middle of the screen.  And constantly dying as a result.  She actually had to be told to move to the bottom of the screen.  Such was her experience with this genre.  This is something that you learn IN THE FIRST MINUTE of playing these games.

Oh wait, she also played Harmful Park on stream, for money.  This is a game that she likes to mention in at least every third video.  And we can all remember how good she did in that game.  She didn’t even know that the game has bombs.  She didn’t know that bombs are ubiquitous to the “shmup” genre.

But now Erin is all about the “shmups” on Genesis.  And she “grew up with the SNES”.  TWO GAMES!

– “Bebe’s Kids is an awful game, but I know a secret to make it slightly more bearable (at least it will get you to the “boss”). The R button makes your character do an uppercut that can put enemies down in two hits. Why they didn’t make this the default punch I’ll never know, but there it is.”

So Erin didn’t even try all of the buttons.  She just declared that the only thing you could do was punch.  And she was talking about a straight punch, not this uppercut.

– “Even though the SNES is my favorite console it definitely has some uh…. “interesting” games to say the least haha.”

That boring as fuck comment was from boring as fuck Retro Ali.

I’ve noticed something.  None of these gamer grrls ever have anything interesting to say in the comments section.  It’s basically spam.  Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining is particularly awful at this.  She gives two word replies to her horny fans and boring as fuck generic shit on Erin’s videos.

These are boring people with nothing interesting to say.  They don’t have an original idea in their heads.  They’re completely incapable of having any kind of interesting discussion.  This helps explain their dreadful videos.