Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vIc0-HvAXvA

Let’s see what Erin’s awkward as fuck BFF is up to.  Hunting for games in a retirement community.  Nothing sleazy about that.  

0:00 – “So I’m in…where are we at?  Peoria.  But Sun City.”

What a way to start a video.  Why didn’t she just re-do it?  She fucked up right away.  It’s not like she lost any footage.  Do it again.  Why does she insist on being so awkward and off-putting?  It’s like she’s trying to be as non-personable as possible.  “How detestable can I be and still get people to watch my videos?”

Let me look up this so-called Peoria in Sun City.  Maybe I got the name of the city wrong.  No, she’s in Nevada and there is a Peoria there.  173,000 people.  That’s a reasonable size.  

And Sun City seems to be…a region as opposed to a city.  “A census-designated place”, whatever that means.  Popular with retired people.  It’s three miles from Peoria.

But, of course, we had to look this up because SuperVideoGameGal just expects all of her viewers to be well-versed in Arizona geography.

“Visiting my lovely parents, who are amazing.”

And she says this sarcastically, in spite of the fact that her father is in the front seat of this car.  She’s in the back seat and recording this.

This might explain the horrendous behaviour from this woman.  Maybe she had awful parents.  They didn’t show her any love so she doesn’t show them any love.  Or anyone.  

0:45 – So then she goes to Salvation Army.  That’s all this video is going to be.  Going to “thrift stores”.  

I expected like estate sales or rummaging through dying people’s property in retirement homes.  That’s what the title suggested.  But going to the fucking Salvation Army?  Who cares?

1:45 – “So they barely had…they didn’t actually have anything in that store.”

Oh come on.  Why upload the video?  She fucking did this before when she was looking for Sonic “merch”.  She goes to the store, doesn’t see anything she likes, and that’s the fucking video.

“So we’re going to Goodwill.  So wish us luck.”

I have to say, I’ve never gone to any of these stores.  Am I so out of touch?  I didn’t grow up wealthy.  I’m not wealthy today.  But somehow I’ve avoided these secondhand shops.  

But this seems to be a thing on the internet.  Pat the NES Punk goes to “flea markets”.  LGR does these “thrifting” videos.  Why?  Those two people actually have money.  

“Oh, I got a bargain on this used copy of Mario Paint.  Only $30.”  Yeah.  I have it too.  And every video game in the SNES library.  I downloaded them in about ten minutes.  It cost me nothing.  How’s that for a good deal?  And I don’t even need a console to play them and that whole hassle of hooking it up and putting the game in, et cetera.  I play right on my computer.  It’s crazy.  The future is here!

2:00 – She picks up a controller that says “High School Musical” on it and is highly stylised.  “This looks like something I need.  What game would you play this with?”

Oh, what a “gamer”.  This is obviously a plug and play game.  I mean, what the fuck?  I’m not exactly an expert on these plug and play games, I never had one, they’re after my time, but I know what they are and I recognise them.  This was obviously such a device.

7:30 – Different store now.  “So they didn’t have anything in there.”

9:30 – After going to yet another store and finding nothing, she’s back in the car and says, “I think we’re done with thrift stores so maybe we’ll go to some game shops.”

Absolute trash video.  

Hey, NewWaveJunkie replied.

– “This was cool. My wife and I love going to thrift stores but haven’t done it in far too long.”

This is the guy who makes Lego dioramas for Erin.  He has a wife.  That’s inspirational.  If this guy can find a wife, there’s hope for everyone.

I used to find inspiration from that boy from Mask.  You know, the Cher movie.  He had the giant head.  But in spite of this, he got all the bitches.  There was the prostitute and the blind girl.  He was popular in school.  Everybody loved that guy.  And if he could get a girlfriend, what excuse do I have?

But then I did some research and it turns out that the real life kid who the fictional Rocky Dennis was based on was actually a huge asshole.  He was angry, he was bitter.  I get it.  It’s understandable.  And yeah, he never had a girlfriend.  And he was like 11 when he died so even without the giant head, it’s unlikely that he would have had a girlfriend at that age.  So…there went my inspiration.

– “It is SO rare that I find anything good at thrift stores anymore. Especially when it comes to gaming! And yeah, nothing but Wii fits lol. I like the deflated Pikachu.”

That was from Erin.  She replies to EVERY video from SuperVideoGameGal.  I get it.  They’re both from “SoCal”.  They both like Disney shit.  They’re both boring as fuck.  They’re both really awkward.  They have a lot in common.

– “That yellow couch would sure look sweet with green shag carpeting and wood panel walls.”

That was from horny JOHN RIGGS.  He’s picturing himself and SuperVideoGameGal on the shag carpeting together.  No wife.  No kids.  No responsibilities.  Just free love with a big fat guy down in “SoCal”.  

Wake up, you fat bastard.  You made a commitment.  It was your decision to have children.  Nobody held a gun to your head.  So take some responsibility, stop this disgusting bullshit where you come on to every gamer grrl you can find, and raise your god damn children.  

You don’t find your fat wife sexually appealing any more?  First of all, look at what she has to have sex with.  Maybe the two of you can lose weight together.  As a couple.  Motivate each other.  First one to drop twenty pounds gets a rimjob from the loser.  Something.  Make it interesting.  

But coming on game grrls is not going to solve your problems.