Gamer Girls

0:00 – She’s going to purchase some comics. She talks about her fondness for comics. You know what she doesn’t talk about? Her two year contract with a major comic book publisher to write and develop an original comic book. And I’ve watched this full video already (I couldn’t wait). She doesn’t mention this once. I’ll come back to this after I go through the video.

0:30 – HUGE change in volume level for her intro video. She’s whispering in the first thirty seconds and then there’s this fucking intro at full blast. I expect much better from a professional video editor.

That reminds me. Joe from Gamesack recently did a livestream on Youtube. I watched a few minutes of it. Somebody asked him what his job is and he said, “Video editor. I’ve been editing videos since 2001.” I found it amusing. Can you possibly make a living doing this? What videos is he editing? Youtube stuff, I assume. Does he mean his own or other people’s? Does he advertise his services anywhere? Not that I’ve seen. Maybe he has so much business that he doesn’t need to advertise.

Anyway, that livestream was fucking pathetic. The guy is trying to get some of that big “superchat” money. You know, what with coronavirus and all he’s concerned about his bills. So he decided to shake down his viewers, who probably have real jobs that they perhaps lost or at least aren’t able to do at the moment. Have to shake down those viewers while the going is good. If this shutdown lasts for another month or so, people are going to have a tough time paying the rent. Then they’re not going to be giving any “superchats”.

0:45 – She’s recording footage in some comic shop. “I don’t know what kind of rules they have for recording.”

It didn’t stop her at Hooters.

1:45 – There’s an old man with obvious health problems going up a narrow staircase and MadamFomo just blasts past him. It’s unbelievable. Maybe I expect too much from a “video editor” but it’s rude as fuck. “Out of my way, old man. I’ve got a shitty Youtube video to record!”

2:30 – She refers to “backlogs”. Is that what they’re called now? I think that she’s refering to back issues (i.e. comics that were released more than one month ago). Is she talking about something else? I don’t know.

3:15 – “There’s lots of space so that you can have social distancing in the store, which is a plus.”

I don’t even think she’s joking. Obviously, the store wasn’t designed with “social distancing” in mind. And if you’re concerned about “social distancing” how about not going to the fucking comic book store? It’s hardly a necessity.

4:00 – She refers to “sleeves” for comic books. Again, maybe things have changed since 1994. That was the last time that I bought a comic book. But they were called “bags” in my day. Are they called “sleeves” now or is Madam Fomo wrong? Maybe it’s a regional thing as well.

The comic book shop footage ends at 5:00. It was really, really bad. It was just a blur. She went around with her camera, jostling around as she’s walking, and you just see stuff. She’s walking down an aisle, here is she is pushing past an old man, whatever. She doesn’t stop and show you anything. There’s never a still, steady shot of anything. And her commentary is likewise awful. It’s completely fucking pointless.

5:30 – She’s back at her apartment and changed into something more appropriate. A foot of cleavage is showing.

“I’m finally back home. I picked up a few comics and I’m going to show you guys. I want us to take this journey together so I got a lot of the first issue of these comics and you can let me know, when I show you all of the comics, which one you guys would be interested in reading together and kind of reviewing on the channel by commenting below.”

Oh. I get it. So it’s going to be like Oprah’s Book Club. But for retards.

I wonder if, after it’s over, she’s going to invite everyone who participated over to her apartment for like a big send off. “UNZIP YOUR PANTS, BOYS. THAT’S RIGHT! YOU GET AN STD! AND YOU GET AN STD! AND YOU GET AN STD! EVERYBODY GETS AN STD!”

How the fuck is this dumb shit even supposed to work? Some of these comics that she shows look pretty obscure. And even something like Iron Man, she couldn’t find the issue that she wanted. So how is everyone else supposed to find this shit and read along with her?

So…I mean…by the time she decides on what comic she’s going to choose for this thing, it will no longer be on sale. At least not in the new comics section.

Don’t they have digital comics now? Did that take off? Do they charge more for back issues? Are some digital comics worth more than others? Do they go up or down in value? Can you even sell digital comics? So many questions about a topic that I don’t give a fuck about because I’m a functioning adult.

6:00 – Then she shows the comics. All she does is show the cover and move on. We’re supposed to make a determination based on this. “Which cover do you like best?”

I mean…what the fuck? Can you tell us a little about the comic? I know that you haven’t read it yet but…could you have looked a synopsis up on the internet or something? Or at least tell us about the character? No. It’s just, “Here’s this cover. Here’s this cover. Here’s this cover.” It’s fucking idiotic.

8:15 – This video ran a little short and she’s desperate to get to the ten minute mark. I don’t think your videos get monetised if they’re shorter than ten minutes. So she shows the covers again. This video is ten minutes and seven seconds, including a stupidly long outro.

Can I make a suggestion? This one is from my youth so it will require some hunting but Penthouse Comix #1. How much is that shit going for these days? $40 on Ebay. Holy shit. I’ve got three copies. Mint condition. Well…one of them might be near mint. I “read” it a few times.

This was an anthology series. It was quite ambitious. They had some big names attached to this.

They would have like six stories in each issue. And they were magazine size. Each story would be like ten pages and then you had to tune in next month for the next exciting episode. They had some self-contained stories, though. And as you go through the series of comics, stories would come and go. The story might not continue the next month, it might be on hiatus and a new story takes its place.

So there was like a superhero story, a big titted woman living with dinosaurs story, a Josie and the Pussycats parody, shit like this. Different artists and writers would do the different stories. With sexy results.

I never jerked off to this stuff, though. I mean…it’s drawings. I’m not a fucking caveman. But there was an ad in that first issue for some Penthouse video game that had a real life woman showing her real life boobs. So that was good.

Anyway, I think that this would be a good series for Madam Fomo and her fans to discuss. The comic quickly failed and the editor killed himself.

I think that the problem was that the comic advertised itself as a comic for adults but that wasn’t the case. This was pornography. It wasn’t a place where you could read stories about superheroes who happen to have sex. The stories were simply setups to sex. It’s the same as the “stories” in pornography of the era.

They tried a lot of stuff to keep it going, though. There were variants, for example. Like I have an issue that’s in comic book size. For some of the early issues, they experimented with releasing both magazine size and comic book size. Also, for issue 3 (I think) there’s a variant cover that was released for the German market. The non-German market had a woman wielding a swastika branding iron but for the German market, it was changed to a cross. I have both variants. I’ve looked this up and I’ve never seen any mention of this variant cover. Maybe I have something rare and valuable. Maybe I can retire off of this.

Anyway, it’s the world’s dumbest idea. And noticeably absent: any mention of Madam Fomo’s two year contract with a major comic book company. What the fuck happened with that? Is she still working there? Is she working at home on this comic, what with coronavirus and all? We don’t know. It seems that she dropped this comic book story quickly. Perhaps because anyone with a brain can see that it was totally made up bullshit. It was amusing while it lasted, though.