Gamer Girls

(This is a vintage Destiny Fomo review that I’m re-uploading)

0:00 – “Good morning, Fomo Fam. I just woke up and wanted to see how everyone’s weekend has been.”

Okay. In case you’re not clicking the video, let me tell you what’s going on. It’s Madam Fomo, with little to no makeup on, in her bedroom, and she allegedly just woke up. This is some sort of pornographic role playing stuff. What would it be like if I just slept with Madam Fomo? Well, as it turns out, it’s boring as fuck. At least in the morning.

Then she tells you what she did yesterday.

“I went to my mailbox and I paid my mailbox”.

What? Is this a PO box thing? She has an Amazon wish list somewhere. Maybe it’s for that? I don’t know. Maybe she just doesn’t want anyone knowing where she lives so everything goes to this PO box, bills, whatever.

“I picked up some mail. I sent mail.”

What is she sending? I have no idea. I can’t even think of any “video editor” related stuff that she would be sending.

“I grabbed some more supplies for more mail”.

Panties. Used panties. Maybe that’s what she’s sending. Porn stars do this sort of stuff.

I mean, really. What the fuck legitimate thing could it be? How often are you mailing packages? It has to be packages, right? She said “supplies”. That could mean “envelopes” but…why wouldn’t she just say “envelopes” then?

“I went shopping at Kmart and Target for some food and stuff.”

Who the fuck does their grocery shopping at Kmart and Target? Are there no grocery stores near her? She lives in New York. There must be numerous grocery stores within walking distance. “No, I’ll do my food shopping at a bankrupt department store.”

Do they even sell food at Kmart and Target? I’ve never seen any food there but…my information is from decades ago and of course there are differences among the various stores in the chain. People get food at Walmart, right? Even that seems crazy to me. I guess it depends what’s local to you. If all you have is Walmart, you have to go with it. But how many areas aren’t served by dedicated grocery stores?

“As well as going to find more clothes for try on hauls”

What? Is this also in Kmart and Target? This is pathetic. Does Kmart have a harlot dress department?

Come on. Fucking Kmart and Target try on hauls? She can’t do better than that? Let me check the Kmart website. Maybe they have some upscale stuff there now.

No. No they don’t. They have about 20 dresses and they range in price from $9 to $25. They’re all pretty conservative. Also, I just realised that that was the Australian Kmart. Must be a subsidary. Do Kmarts even exist in the US any more?

Let’s just look at the fucking Target website. I used to go here for “slacks” as a boy.

“Party dresses”, I guess. Well, there are two. These are way too conservative for Madam Fomo and they’re $25.

“Wedding guest dress”. These are some really unattractive dresses. And $25-40.

No, there’s nothing here that she would wear. I mean, what the fuck? Who wants to see a Kmart/Target “try on haul”? It’s like something somebody would say as a joke.

“I also streamed”.

“I cleaned things up.”

“Packed some stuff up or storage”.

There’s are a few U-Haul boxes behind her.

“Got my laundry together so that today I can actually do my laundry.”

Wait. This is a problem for people? They just have dirty clothes lying around? Madam Fomo, next time you’re in Kmart, pick up a clothes hamper.

Then she gets into her plans for today.

“Packing some more stuff up for storage. Taking the stuff to storage.”

Why does she have stuff in storage? Her living room looked pretty uncluttered. You can’t fit some shit in there? Or how about getting rid of these games? You’re not fucking playing them and they’re not going to go up in value.

The whole idea of having stuff in storage and having to pay for this month after month, this is not a long-term solution. If you’re having to put stuff in storage long-term, you have too much stuff. Just get rid of things. You become a slave to this shit.

“Doing my laundry.”

That’s a task? You take the stuff from the hamper to the washing mashine, put the soap in, press start, wait 90 minutes, and then hang the shit up. You’re done.

“Doing a little bit more food shopping.”

Why? What the fuck is going on? Is she this poorly organised?

When I lived in the US, I’d get food for a week. Maybe longer. I had a car, no problem. One trip per week. You fucking make a list of what you have to buy.

I don’t think that people really do big shopping hauls like that in the UK. Even if they have a car. You don’t often see people with shopping carts. It’s usually just baskets that you carry. So you get food for three days or so. Maybe four. But again, I just go once every three or four days. I’m not going back the next day just for the sake of it. Whatever I needed, I purchased the day before.

“Attempting to find some more try on haul clothes”.

Is this going to be at Kmart and Target again? I think that we can eliminate those. Let me check Google Maps…there have to be nicer stores she can go to. She mentioned Forever 21 in her last try on haul video. That looks hip and trendy.

Uhh…yeah. Bloomingdale’s, Macy’s, there are a lot of H&M’s and Expresses. Not sure if those are any good. LOFT. Some trendy shit in there, I bet. Anthropologie looks upscale. She has the money, though. I mean, what the fuck? A Kmart try on haul? It’s absurd.

“As well as filming some videos”

“Researching for some more videos”

Wait, what? What the fuck is she researching? Her latest videos have been try on hauls and streams where she just answers repetitive questions from horny losers. Before that, she did “look at what I just bought” videos. She never did any videos that require research.

“Planning out some more videos.”

So that’s her day. She’s going to bring some stuff to her storage unit, do laundry, pick up some groceries (even though she just went yesterday), look for some try on haul clothes, and make some videos and research videos.

So…I mean, forget about the videos. All she does now is stream. That does not require any preparation.

So she’s dropping off some stuff at her storage unit and going shopping.

You know what’s missing? A job. But she has a job. She has THREE jobs. She’s a video editor, she’s a comic book writer or designer or whatever, and she’s a “video editor” (which is different from the first video editor reference).

No mention of any of these jobs. How does she support herself? How can she afford to do so much shopping?

In early January, she signed a two year contract to make a comic book. When the fuck does that start? That should be at least a 9 to 5 job, right? She said that it was a major publisher. She’ll be going to the office every day, right? Working with the artist, designing the character, coming up with a story board, writing it all out, it’s a job. You have to know what the fuck you’re doing. And this company apparently gave a two year contract to somebody with no experience whatsoever in the industry. So they’re really going to have to give her extra support.

Six weeks into this two year contract, nothing. Isn’t she worried? “Hey, Mr Cebulski, when do I start?” No, just keep browsing bankrupt Kmart’s fucking picked over women’s clothing department.

“What are you guys doing? Let me know in the comments below.”

Working. I fucking went to work. Why aren’t you working?

“This is basically like a good morning text but a video version of it.”

Oh baby. Madam Fomo likes me. She sent me a good morning video. Sorry, boys. She’s all mine.

Then she says that she’ll be answering the comments. This is clearly some kind of sexual thing. For these weird losers, anyway. “Leave a comment and I’ll personally reply!” That’s enough for these guys. Getting a reply from Madam Fomo gives them an erection. I don’t understand it whatsoever.

Anyway, you can kind of see her bedroom. It’s not nearly as exciting as I thought it would be. Maybe she cleaned up before she made the video. Put all the paraphernalia in the closet.

Anyway, this was like the most pathetic, low effort video I have ever seen. And it had fuck all to do with video games. It’s some more softcore porn for hardcore nerds with bizarre fetishes. She should consider doing “reaction” videos.

Look at these pathetic comments:

– ” Good morning ☀️ to you as well honey 🍯”

– ” Morning Hotness “

– ” Man, look at this girl! She getting stuff done! “

Imagine how little Jay Schwartzman must be doing with his life.

– ” i know this is none of my business, and im sorry if i stepped my bounds, but i hope your not single because your too beautiful, to smart, to creative, to fun, all around amazing to be alone and i encourage you to get someone who completes you in every way babe. coming from ya boi SPAWNplyr “

– ” whoa…dont know what ive been not seeing, but you just showed sum love with the vid, had some inner house relative group action going on, letting us know what mix you got mixxin on …like that, thanks for the love though “

Happy Black History Month, everyone.

– ” Damn she responded to almost every comment. That’s dedication. It’s great seeing someone actually putting the hard work in. “

Yeah. She has the time. And such low effort responses. I can’t even bother copying and pasting them. They’re shit. How the fuck is she going to write a whole comic book? A whole SERIES of comic books, in fact.

– ” Destiny I’m not really famous or anything but thought you should know that I have the biggest crush on you like alot of guys on here and I just wanna say drop that zero and get with a hero lol “

Umm…yeah. That “zero” you speak of may or may not be a large black man who engages in human trafficking among no doubt other crimes. I believe that these people don’t take kindly to people trying to “steal their bitches”. So maybe watch yourself, “Prince Wacko”. You don’t sound like much of a tough guy.

– ” You should do more with your day, in general. “

Madam Fomo says, “I feel like i already did so much”

It’s good that somebody called her out.

– ” Working lol, cause bills don’t pay themselves.”

Madam Fomo replies, “You’re right.”

But…well…it’s so obvious that I don’t need to get into it.

– ” yay , i haven’t had a good morning text in years”

Uh huh. These are the losers who are watching this.

I mean, you’re not a loser if you don’t have a girlfriend. But you’re a loser if you’re using shit Youtubers as your surrogate girlfriend. Take some pictures, download Tinder, and don’t mention anime anywhere in your profile. You should be able to find somebody eventually.

– ” Buenas días Fomo! Productive weekend also. Gonna write my novel, comic script, and do my podcast at the end “

Madam Fomo replies, ” I also need to start scripting a comic 😅 hope yours turns out better then mine lol “

I can not wait for that comic to come out. Put me down for a pre-order. She doesn’t even know the difference between “then” and “than”…