https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_cbG3KYMc8
Two hours. There is no way that I’m getting through this.
I was watching Erin’s last video for a few minutes “for fun” at the point where I stopped doing the review and I realised what the problem is. EVERYTHING she says is stupid and/or obnoxious. I’ll try to only point out the REALLY stupid stuff but I’ve tried this numerous times in the past and always failed. It’s just…everything is really stupid.
So this is another game that she played on that “variety” stream. Here are the relevant reviews:
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/09/yume-penguin-monogatari-famicom-erin.html
https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/09/nes-variety-stream-sword-master-toki.html
Fuck…she starts with a weird edit.
She talks about how she played this game and that penguin game in that variety stream.
Some horndog compliments her hair scrunchie.
Some other horndog suggests that the game is Bio Miracle Bukakke.
She says ‘”hello” to everyone like it’s Romper Room.
“Well that was an awkward start to the stream. You can always count on me to make things uncomfortable.”
That was all edited out. I thought there was another edit soon after this but I was wrong.
0:00 – “I only played it for like a little bit, you know, on that variety stream.”
Why doesn’t she do this all the time? Just be honest. What’s so hard about this? Nothing is easier than telling the truth. Lying is difficult. And she’s unbelievably bad at lying.
So we’re off to a good start. Maybe Erin turned over a new leaf and this is going to be an amazing stream. At least in terms of honesty. It’s going to be the same shit commentary and gameplay.
She got to the level 1 boss, didn’t know what she was doing throughout the level, and then died. Terrible gameplay. But I wasn’t raging. Because she started the video by saying that she only played the game briefly, on a previous stream, for money.
Is that all it takes? Just being honest with the viewer? Because I don’t care that she doesn’t know what she’s doing and that she’s bad at the game since she told us that she has virtually no experience with the game.
When she implies that she has experience with a game and then everything she does makes it plain that she never played the game before, it makes for uneasy viewing. Because you’re constantly trying to marry these things together. “She says that she played this before but then why is she surprised by how level 2 looks and why doesn’t she know the controls and why is her gameplay so horrendous” and so on. You question everything that she does.
This is just…somebody with no experience, knowledge, or interest playing a video game on stream, for money for the first and last time ever. I can accept that.
5:00 – Two pink fairies come out of a treasure chest after she defeats the boss. I expected her to comment on how cute they are. No. But she calls them “butterfly people.”
How can Erin possibly not know what a fairy is? Hasn’t this big time Disney fan ever seen Peter Pan? Don’t fairies feature prominently in girly stuff? Let’s just move on.
5:30 – “Hey Sergio. I am good. How are you?”
First of all, why does Sergio bother with such boring comments? Secondly, why does Erin reply to them? He’s paying five bucks a month or whatever so she feels obligated, I guess. She wants him to get the “girlfriend experience”.
6:00 – “So now we’re like…what’s it called…Yoshi when he turns into a car. Not a car. You know what I mean?”
The level is OBVIOUSLY like arcade classic Dig Dug. But Erin has no fucking idea what Dig Dug is. She never played it before. So instead she makes a bizarre Yoshi reference that not even she understands. Yoshi’s Island being a game that she played before, on stream, for money. Also a game that she used to cite as her favourite game of all time and one of the first games that she ever owned. “Remember when Yoshi turned into a car?” Frankly, no.
7:15 – Then somebody in the chat says, “The Dig Dug baby” and Erin repeats it, obviously not getting the reference AT ALL.
Then somebody else in the chat compares the game to Mr Driller and Erin says, “Yeah, it’s kind of like Mr Driller.”
I don’t even know what the fuck Mr Driller is. But somehow Erin knows. And yet she DOESN’T know Dig Dug.
Oh, I looked it up. I think The Price is Right used to offer this as one of their prizes. I’m so *nostalgic* for The Price is Right. Is Bob Barker still alive? Surely not. Oh my god, he is. He’s 96 years old.
14:30 – She mentions her fondness for the lemonade at Hot Dog on a Stick.
Hey guys! Remember Hot Dog on a Stick? No, me neither. It’s a small chain of hot dog restaurants in California. Erin is so *nostalgic* for California. Then fucking go back.
Holy shit. Do a Google image search of this place. These are the most humiliating uniforms I’ve ever seen. I would never patron such a place. These people are already getting paid peanuts. Do you also have to make them wear humiliating uniforms? It’s disgusting.
Then she’s talking about Red Robin. That’s another restaurant chain on “The West Coast”, I guess.
So I guess we’re doing this. Casual dining chain restaurant *nostalgia*.
Hey guys! Remember Bob Evans? You used to see them at like fucking rest stops and shit out in the sticks.
Or what about Medieval Times? They used to show commercials for his place all the time. It looked god awful. Some medieval jousting shit and kids wearing paper crowns. I didn’t even realise it was a restaurant.
I’m looking at some pictures online. There’s like tables set around a little arena and horses and whatnot are in the arena. There aren’t many people in the audience. This is just sad. How on earth is this place still in business? Looks unsanitary as fuck too. “Would you like some horse dung with your meal today?”
I went to some kind of farm with my girlfriend once and they sold food in the little restaurant area. So I suggested that we check it out. It was like they put sandwiches out under a glass display counter area and you could take what you want.
Everything was COVERED with flies. But you see people taking this food and eating it. So my girlfriend gets annoyed with me. “Are you really going to take this? Look at it.” And I said, “No, of course not. How would I possibly know that everything would be covered in flies?”
Anyway, that’s enough *nostalgia*. Let’s get back to the Erin goodness. I’m actually finding this stream…well, watchable would be too strong a word. But I’m not enraged.
18:30 – Then she dies. “What are my thoughts on Mountain Dew?”
NOBODY GIVES A FUCK. What is wrong with these people? She likes it. What are you getting out of this? “Oh yeah…Erin likes Mountain Dew. Me too. We were made for each other.”
Then she starts listing her fucking favourite fruits after some other horndog asks her some stupid question. “Oh yeah! Erin likes melons! Like boobs! Hot!”
Then even Erin acknowledges that these questions are stupid.
21:15 – Erin starts talking about how avocados give her diarrhoea. Come on. I have no doubt that there are people in the chat who REALLY like hearing about this but to a normal person, this is disgusting and we don’t need to know about this.
21:45 – She says that she plans on streaming Fall Guys. Mike did a stream of that recently. Where do you get your ideas, Erin?
Why doesn’t she stream Fortnight? She claims that she got first place the first time that she played the game and then again got first place when she teamed up with Mike. So it sounds like she’s awesome at this game. But, oddly, she’s never streamed it.
25:00 – “You know what boss fight reminds you of this? The only thing I can think of is like Birdo in Super Mario 2.”
Oh my god. She actually made an accurate “gaming” reference. And has she streamed Super Mario 2? She probably has. But still. Indeed, these boss fights are similar to the Birdo sections of Super Mario Bros 2.
25:30 – Then somebody makes a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles NES game reference and Erin actually gets it. She’s in an underwater level and she says, “It kind of looks like the TMNT level. Let’s see if I get electrocuted.”
It’s crazy. She’s really in the zone.
26:00 – “What NES games did I have as a kid? Well, I had Super NES games as a kid.”
That wasn’t the question. So we can assume that she had no NES games as a child.
Then she gives a vague, bizarre answer. The same stupid story that we’ve heard before about wanting to find out what came before the SNES.
Oh, she actually nails the timeframe down. She got an NES and a Nintendo 64 “right after high school.” And the two NES games that got were Super Mario Bros 3 and The Little Mermaid (which didn’t work).
So…the answer to this guy’s question was that she had ZERO NES games as a child and when she was in college/university, she had ONE working NES game: Super Mario Bros 3. And that was the ONLY NES game that she owned until she started the Youtube channel as a 29 year old woman.
Wait a minute. But then she says, “But I had Super Nintendo and Nintendo 64 games growing up.”
She’s vague about what games because it was just Super Mario All-Stars and Yoshi’s Island. But now she’s saying that she had Nintendo 64 games as a child? Not 15 seconds earlier, she said that she got the Nintendo 64 at the same time as she got the NES. So “right after high school.”
Whatever. It’s just made up as she goes along.
Then somebody asks if she likes any Nintendo 64 games. She says Mario 64, Yoshi’s Story, Bust a Move 99 (a game that she played on stream, for money) and then she struggles and gives up.
I never owned a Nintendo 64. I don’t even know what it looks like. But if somebody asked me for my favourite games, I could come up with a more convincing lie. Off the top of my head:
Ogre Battle 64
Virtual Pro Wrestling 2
Diddy Kong Racing
No struggling. No going to the obvious answers. No thinking of games that I played on stream, for money.
Then the horndogs just start prompting answers for her because they see that she’s struggling.
28:15 – “I was thinking of doing a video on my childhood game collection.”
Oh I can’t wait. “So here’s Super Mario All-Stars and here’s Yoshi’s Island. Please like and subscribe!”
But she claims that she had Gameboy, SNES, and Nintendo 64 games.
What about the PC games that she says that she had? Like some Barbie game and Revenge of Arcade? Maybe she’s just talking about console games.
29:00 – “I don’t know anything about Fallout. I just know the cartoon guy who’s on all that merchandise.”
This is believable. Why can’t she be honest about everything?
Oh fuck. Then she says that her mother is grateful that she’s not in “SoCal” because of the bad air quality. “With your asthma, you would not be doing well.” So we’re back to the lies.
30:30 – “Those look like little mangos. Don’t they?”
You know what Erin hasn’t said in a while? “X looks like Y”. And I don’t include this as an “X looks like Y” because I think she was giving a genuine attempt at trying to guess what these items are. Maybe she finally realised that “X looks like Y” isn’t funny.
31:15 – She’s talking about the weather on “The East Coast”. It’s 70 degrees. She considers that to be cold.
31:45 – She starts going on about “taking a dump”. Shishi has to go change his underpants now.
42:15 – “The owls, when you hit them, it looks like they turn into tacos.”
Oh. I spoke too early about the “X looks like Y” thing.
44:45 – “Do I have Erin Plays merchandise? I don’t actually, but it’s on its way.”
I can not wait. I want a t-shirt with a giant picture of her face on it.
In all seriousness, nobody is buying that shit. Come on. You need at least a million subscribers before “merch” becomes at all viable.
49:45 – Somebody asks what her favourite pizza toppings are. Cheese. Sometimes mushrooms. Sometimes she lives it up and likes a little pepperoni. But not too much.
She’s the most boring person ever. It’s like the time somebody asked what she puts on her hotdogs. Ketchup.
Okay, I’ve now watched an hour of this. That’s enough for me. Her poor gameplay has finally gotten to me.
But all in all, this is probably the best Erin Plays stream that I’ve ever seen. I think that simply being honest with the viewer helps a lot.
If she would approach the Youtube channel and the Twitch stream as somebody with no experience with video games, it might be watchable. The problem arises when she claims that she’s some long-time “gamer”. And she blatantly lies about her experience with video games.
Just say, “I’ve never played this before”. She’s perfectly capable of saying this. It’s almost her catchphrase.
But when she counts playing a game for 12 minutes, on stream, for money as having “played the game”, that’s disingenuous. Or when she gives nebulous details about her history with video games as a child. It’s intentionally misleading.
Just do a video where you come clean. “I’ve never played this shit before. I’m not really interested in video games. But I’m playing these games for Youtube videos and Twitch streams in an attempt to make money. And I sort of like playing on stream, for money. So check it out if you want.”
I could appreciate that. It’s not insulting my intelligence.
Here’s a comment:
– “Have you seen the movie Baby’s Day Out? If not you HAVE to watch that, you will laugh your ass off.”
Erin says, “lol no I haven’t”
In the video, she also mentioned how she saw the first Bill & Ted movie but can’t remember it and didn’t see the second or third.
What exactly was she doing in “The 90s” that makes her so *nostalgic* for it today? She wasn’t consuming any of the popular culture, be it films, television, or video games.