https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DcHrjl1x0KY
Erin and Mike play NES games. It’s a stream that Erin did.
0:00 – “I’m having him start because I’m drinking my coffee.”
She has no fucking interest in this. Right off the bat. Drink the coffee BEFORE you start the stream. Wouldn’t that be sensible?
0:30 – “Happy birthday BroomHatter. I hope you had a good Pokemon party.”
This guy is in every stream that Erin does and every stream that Mike does. Here’s a tweet he did about this party.
https://twitter.com/broom_hatter/status/1294100371443515393
He’s apparently a married man who had a Pokemon birthday party. He has two goldfish, according to his description.
Can we see the wife, please? She must be about 400 pounds to put up with this shit.
3:00 – “I like the barrels that the snakes are in. They look like honeypots so I think of Winnie the Pooh.”
Oh. X looks like Y. That’s really fucking hilarious. Thank you for that contribution. My sides are splitting.
3:15 – “When are we going to stream two-player Curse of the Moon? I keep forgetting.”
She sure does forget a lot of stuff. What is she so busy with? She must “work” about five hours a week. And by “work” I mean stream video games and do Youtube videos about video games.
4:45 – “I like Kung Fu but I am bad at it.”
You don’t say.
“I think I need to sit and play it all day and get in the groove and then stream it.”
Why does everything have to be with the end goal of streaming? How about playing video games for the enjoyment of it? This idea is totally foreign to Erin.
Then Mike says, “You should stream Kung Fu all day.”
Erin says, “I should. I like it. It makes me happy.”
She never fucking played the game before. Or if she did, it was briefly, on stream for money. Same kind of stream that she’s doing here where she plays a game for seconds. Or, in this case, Mike plays a game and she talks about things she sees which are “cute”.
I don’t know how Mike can just sit there and listen to this. He must know that she never fucking played this game before. And more than that, he must know that anyone who watches any of Erin’s streams knows that she never played this before. Her lies are incredibly bad. How can he sit there and not call her out on them?
Why not take her aside and explain to her that if she’s going to lie, she has to do a much better job of it? It’s like she can’t help herself. She’s just a compulsive liar. Even though she knows what she’s saying is something that nobody on earth can possibly believe, she’ll say it anyway.
5:30 – She says that she can’t stream for long periods because she “runs out of endurance.” So has she given up on the carpal tunnel syndrome lie? I mean, that would seem to be the first thing that she would have mentioned.
6:45 – They’re talking about Barbie games. Erin presents herself as an expert on the subject so Mike asks how many are on Gameboy. Erin says, “Probably 32”. This is obviously a joke answer because she doesn’t have the slightest idea. She doesn’t know anything about this shit. It’s a video game. She doesn’t know about video games. How stupid can Mike possibly be? Why ask her a question like this?
7:00 –
Mike: I would just like to say that I am now on the second dragon
Erin: Good job.
Mike: So I’m now on loop 3 of Kung Fu.
Erin: Loop 3?
Mike: We’re on loop 3.
Erin: Geez, you just keep going.
Mike: So look. I did it once, I did it twice, so now this is the third loop going.
Erin: That’s great.
It’s like a child bragging about his video game achievements to a totally disinterested parent.
Then Erin says that she wants to stream a Daria game that she wanted as a child but, of course, she never got.
What was she getting instead? What was she doing? Why is every story about things that she DIDN’T do?
Then Erin says, “He started watching Daria with me so I’m really happy.”
That’s just insane on so many levels. First of all, a 32 year old woman is watching old cartoons from “the 90s” out of some bizarre *nostalgia*. What exactly is she *nostalgic* for? She didn’t do anything in “the 90s”.
And then for Mike to go along with this…what the fuck? That’s even crazier than offering to buy her a car. To spend HOURS watching a show that you clearly don’t like just to appease your sugar baby. It’s madness.
I mean, this is not the way sugar daddy/sugar baby relationships are supposed to work. Mike is taking the submissive position even in a relationship where he’s PAYING for the woman.
Here’s how it’s supposed to work:
Mike: We’re watching the entire third season of Star Trek: The Next Generation today.
Erin: But I don’t like Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Mike: Okay. Then pack up your shit and go back to your parents in California.
Erin: I’ll be good.
9:00 – Mike died so now it’s Erin’s turn. Let’s see how many seconds she can last.
Oh my god. She clearly never played this before. It seems like she wasn’t even watching Mike play this. She’s surprised at the knife throwing guy even though Mike killed about 50 of these guys in his run at the game.
She also clearly doesn’t know that you’re supposed to move back and forth when the enemies grab you.
These are both things that you figure out your first time playing the game.
10:00 – And she’s dead. While Mike is singing the America’s Funniest Home Videos theme song. She couldn’t even make it to the first boss. This is absolute shit tier gaming.
10:30 – “I don’t even know how I did that jump.”
You pressed up, Erin. I mean…what the fuck…it’s unbelievable. She claimed to have played this game before. It’s absolutely impossible.
Then she dies because she’s just randomly jumping for some reason. She doesn’t know the controls. She doesn’t know that “up” jumps. I mean honestly, how can somebody not know this? Even if you’ve never played the game before, wouldn’t you quickly figure out that pressing “up” jumps?
And naturally, jumping is not a good strategy in this game. So if she’s intentionally jumping, she clearly hasn’t played the game before because that’s just a recipe for a quick death, which is what happened here. She actually did worse in her second attempt.
So then she said “boing” which is funny to somebody. Earlier in the stream she went on a long diatribe about how “boing” is like her hilarious catchphrase.
10:45 – “Which is better? The punch or the kick or doesn’t it matter?”
This is day one Kung Fu. The kick has a longer range but the punch is worth more points. You know why Erin doesn’t know this? Because she never played the game before.
I mean, it’s fucking obvious. Why does she lie like this? It’s ridiculously obvious.
And more baffling, why does nobody else seem to pick up on this? Am I like a super genius for seeing through her lies or is everyone else a total moron?
12:45 – Game over. Mike says, “Let’s concentrate on level 1 here. Let’s get you through level 1.”
He knows that she’s bad at games. He knows that she has no experience with games. Or knowledge of games. He must know all of this. He must know that this is all a sham. She’s trying to perpetrate a fraud. She’s a total fake.
And yet…he continues. He continues being with her, he continues showering her with gifts, he continues promoting her shit channel. I don’t get it.
Let’s say that she’s a nice person and he likes being with her. She isn’t. She’s a horrible person. But let’s just for the sake argument say that she’s a nice person.
Here’s what I would say. “Erin, you have to stop making these videos. They’re terrible and you’re embarrassing yourself. You can get a job or you can not get a job. It doesn’t matter. I have enough money to support both of us. But please stop with the videos. It’s not going to work.”
Why isn’t Mike saying that? That’s what somebody who cares would say.
14:00 – She again asks how you jump.
Let’s stop and think about this. One button is for kick, the other is for punch. There are only two buttons. So what else can it be? In many games, “up” jumps. Right? We all know this. But Erin doesn’t. Because she doesn’t play video games.
Then she dies. “Is it going to start me from level 1?”
No. Of course not. Haven’t you played this before? She said that she played this before. But just listen to this shit. There is no conceivable way that she’s played this before. And she does this CONSTANTLY. The constant lies about having played a game and then it’s blindingly obvious that she never played it before.
Then Mike is explaining what the various enemies do. Erin says, “That’s a lot to remember”. She should know what the enemies do if she played this before, which she obviously has not.
14:45 – “Little kids coming after you? Oh my god.”
She’s surprised by the midget enemies. How? Hasn’t she played this before? Wasn’t she even watching when Mike was playing? He killed about 100 of these midgets. What the fuck was she doing when he was playing?
Then she dies to the second boss.
“I guess we can move on. I do like this game, though.”
Well, obviously. You demonstrated such a deep understanding of this game.
So the stream goes on for another 2 hours and 15 minutes. How can anyone possibly watch this? It’s exhausting. It’s exhausting having to listen to Erin’s ridiculously bad lies and watching her unbelievably poor gameplay.
Shishi leaves a comment.
– “It’s a good thing you cleared up the fart controversy because there are Fart Compilations for other streamers D:”
Uh huh. Shishi sure makes a lot of disgusting sexual comments. But he’s sending Erin money every month so whatever. She allows it.
What a pathetic life Erin leads. Just one day she heard that fake gamer grrls can make a lot of money so she said, “Hey, I can do that!”. And we see what happened. She’s playing these games for a handful of hardcore nerds. For pennies.
The problem is that these fake gamer grrls she read about were hot. They showed their titties. They HAD titties. So horny losers would send them money.
But even in the fake gamer grrl golden age, when Twitch allowed this shit with impunity, what percentage of fake gamer grrls were actually making decent money? It had to be a tiny percent of the overall fake gamer grrl population.
It’s like professional sports, I guess. Yeah, the top guys are making a lot of money but only a tiny percentage reach that level. The overwhelming majority of athletes don’t make it to the professional level at all.
Erin is pure bush league and she’s never going to make it to the Majors.