https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTVGafds8qY
Fuck, I don’t want to watch this. Well…let’s get to it.
0:00 – “It’s not that good but I appreciate the colour scheme going on.”
Oh fuck.
“It’s very late 80s/early 90s”.
It’s just bad. This is going to be horrendous.
0:15 – “I’ve played this in tiny, tiny increments over the course of my life because, you know, it’s not very good.”
Even this game…fuck. I just don’t want to. I don’t want to deal with this shit. It’s another game that she never played before. And it’s a game that she suggests that she had as a child. If that’s the case, why wouldn’t she have played it more than a tiny bit?
I had some god awful games as a child. Street Sports Soccer was probably the worst game that I ever had. It was for the PC. It ran in CGA graphics, for that four colour shit. You had cyan and…I don’t know…yellow and blue and black? Something like that. And this was on a computer that had 16 colours. I never even played a CGA game before. It was before my time.
And it’s fucking soccer. I had no interest whatsoever in soccer. Or sports generally.
And it was like three versus three. You picked a team of children. And allegedly all of the children had different stats (speed and…whatever…maybe something else) but they all seemed identical to me.
And it was slow.
And it was stupid.
So how many hours did I put into this awful game that I hated? Maybe 200.
And I had MORE games than Erin. Way more. She seemed to have had almost nothing. By the time I was 12, I had…I don’t know. 30 PC games? Then I had about 40 Atari 2600 games but I wasn’t playing that shit much by this time. Oh, and I probably had another 10 or 15 Gameboy games. So I had options. It wasn’t fucking Street Sports Soccer or nothing.
I still played it quite a bit. Because sometimes you want something different. And even if a game is bad, when you don’t have many options, you go for it.
Not Erin. She never fucking played this game. Wouldn’t her parents be annoyed by this? “We bought you this game and you haven’t even played it. We’re not buying you any more games.” Maybe that’s what happened.
“So then I looked up a playthrough of this. Just a few weeks ago, I was playing this.”
It’s just stupid. Why would Erin, as a 32 year old woman, suddenly start playing this game? For “content”, obviously. But she obviously has no experience with the game. There’s no *nostalgia* factor for her. So why do any of this?
Her loser fans don’t want to see this shit. So who the fuck is this for? Not Erin. Not her horny loser fans. It just doesn’t make any sense.
0:45 – “No, I did not have this one as a kid.”
What? She implied earlier that she did. That makes this all the more pathetic. So she only started playing this shit recently. For “content”. NOBODY wants to see this. And she has no connection with this game whatsoever.
“I had an NES after I got my SNES but I only had two games for it.”
What a gamer! It’s right there. She’s telling you that she never played this shit before. Any of it.
“I didn’t start getting into NES until late high school/college.”
This doesn’t even…I don’t believe it. It’s just a lie. First of all, why would anybody do that? Why would a 17 year old girl in 2005 suddenly start playing twenty year old NES games? If she had no interest in video games up until this point, why did it start now? And why with games that were released before she was born?
Secondly, just watch her play any of these games. She’s horrendous. And she straight up tells you at the start of every video, “I never played this before.”
So what does she mean that she got into NES games in late high school/early college? What’s her definition of “got into”? Became aware of their existence? She clearly wasn’t playing them. And why would she? No matter how you look at it, it doesn’t make any sense.
“I was a Super Nintendo/N64 kid.”
She claims to have had TWO games for Super Nintendo (Yoshi’s Island and Super Mario World). And this is the first time I’ve heard about her having an N64.
Why has she never done a stream or video about N64 games? The whole thing is preposterous. This is a total fucking fraud. Anyone with a brain can see it.
Then she starts thanking the horny losers in the chat for subscribing.
I’ve never looked into this. But surely, there are women on Twitch who ACTUALLY enjoy playing video games. Right? And surely there are better looking women on Twitch. So what’s the appeal? There are definitely women with more charisma on Twitch. There have to be. Erin is rock bottom in that department.
I guess if you have a very specific fetish for obviously fake gamer grrls, who are middling attractive at best, and talk about background shit and how cute everything is and colours then Erin is for you. I can’t dispute that. Erin is the go to streamer for faker gamer grrls who are middling attractive at best and give inane commentary. But how many people can possibly have that fetish?
1:30 – “I used to have that Barbie.”
She’s at the title screen. Apparently the Barbie in the game is modelled after an actual Barbie. I guess.
“I like how this is very 1991.”
What exactly makes it “1991”? Well, she’s looking at the copyright date. But other than that, I don’t know. What makes something “1991”? It’s just so stupid.
3:15 – “Isn’t the colour scheme great? I don’t know. I really like that. I appreciate that.”
Does anyone else? Is there one fucking person who wants to hear commentary about the colours?
3:30 – “Okay. I don’t know what to do.”
Yeah. It’s true. She doesn’t have a fucking clue how to play this game. We’re supposed to be entertained by this? How?
Then she just tanks a whole bunch of hits. That can’t possibly be how you’re supposed to play this game.
5:00 – “I never played Barbie Game Girl. I remember thinking, ‘Oh, that’s a cute name for it’ but I never played it.”
Oh great. Another fascinating tale about something that Erin DIDN’T do.
“There’s balls everyone but Barbie’s used to that.”
You know who really enjoyed that joke? Shishi. He left a comment about it. There’s no question that he’s jerking off to this. And it’s bizarre. Jerking off to a middling attractive 32 year old woman mumbling a bad sexual half-joke. THIS does it for him? When he discovers Pornhub, it’s going to shatter his brain.
6:00 – “Erin loves anything magenta or cyan. That’s kind of true.”
She’s reading from the chat. These losers are actually talking about the colours. “Maybe if I make a comment about the colours, Erin will go out with me.” It’s beyond pathetic.
6:45 – “Oh my god. There’s kites.”
There sure are. We can all see that, Erin.
8:30 – “Oh my god. Look at the shoe. Look at the shoe.”
We can all see it, Erin.
I’m done. This is total trash.
– “This was a real fun stream!! It’ll be one of my background working videos :D”
That was from Shishi. He was obviously in the stream. But he’s also going to watch it again on Youtube? As background for…what exactly is he working on? Maybe it’s best not to ask.
There’s just no way to improve these videos. Erin has to find something else to do with her time. She has to find something that’s suitable for her. This is not it.