https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47ev4s06jEY
Aw yeah. This is going to be some kind of State of the Union speech. 50,000 subscribers. Wow. She couldn’t have done it without you horny losers. But a special shoutout to horny loser Mike Matei who aggressively promoted her shit channel for two years. You’re the best, dawg!
0:00 – “Hey guys!”
Let’s not overlook Erin’s charisma, though. It was she who came up with the “hey guys” catchphrase. It really hooks in the viewers. She even uses this in text. Like for her descriptions. She is just bursting with charm and wit.
Ooh sleeveless. We can see that horrendous tattoo.
0:15 – “I started Erin Plays because not only did I need a creative outlet but there wasn’t a voice out there that was quite like mine when it came to retro gaming.”
Yeah. Where the fuck are the non-gamer gamers at? That’s what the world needed.
0:30 – “As many of you know, I don’t pretend to be an expert. I love researching and learning about things that are new to me.”
Yeah. Like video games. All of them.
“It’s just such an awesome little community we have.”
Oh yeah. Maybe a dozen hardcore nerds who regularly go to her streams and/or comment on her Youtube videos. Maybe not even that many. People with serious mental health problems who have never gone on a date in their lives.
I was reading a comment recently on Reddit that suggested that her “fans” are “young simps”. I’m not entirely sure what a “simp” is and by the time I figure it out, the nerds will be on to the next cool and fresh slang term. But no, I don’t think that’s right.
I think that these are mostly guys in their late 30s to about 50. Hardcore losers. A lot of them are like Shishi or NewWaveJunkie who just want to talk to a woman because they’re super, super awkward in real life and no women want to talk to them.
But then you also get these losers who are married with children and they also leave creepy comments. I guess that they want Erin to run away with them? I suppose it’s like John Riggs. The guy is 45 years old, 300 pounds, has three children, but he still thinks that he has a shot. These people are completely delusional.
And Erin takes advantage of these completely clueless imbeciles, many of whom obviously have mental health problems. It’s disgusting. Give her money and she’ll pretend to be your friend. Watch her play video games! It’s kind of like having a girlfriend who you play games with but…not really. But it’s the closest that these losers are going to get to this experience.
“The fact that 50,000 of you are still with me after talking about the Vectrex, Intellivision, or old toy catalougues really means a lot.”
Ummm…no. There aren’t 50,000 people still watching the videos. Doesn’t she look at the numbers? She gets 15,000 views on average. How many of these 50,000 subscribers forgot their password, or are fake, or died, or just don’t want to watch this trash any more?
1:00 – Oh, she’s doing a question and answer video. Where did she get that idea? Maybe from a recent review I did of a question and answer video wherein I suggested that Erin should do a similar video.
1:15 – Then…she just starts playing some game I’ve never heard of. And obviously she’s never heard of it. She said, “What better way to celebrate 50,000 subs than playing (whatever the name of this game is)?” What? What the fuck is this?
She puts absolutely no effort into these videos. She’s just playing a totally random game. How is this anything special?
Bobdunga offered to play video game music on her cello if she gets to 50,000 subscribers. Erin…what? She’s just doing a regular video. Actually, no. She’s doing a SHITTIER video than the ones she usually does. This is just game play of a totally random game. There’s no Wikipedia dot com, there’s no attempt at a narrative. This is fucking shit.
1:45 – “I’m going to be real here. I didn’t know what to do for a 50,000 video.”
Yeah. That’s obvious.
And why bother brainstorming ideas? Just…I’ll play some shitty game. Who’s she trying to impress anyway? She knows that these horny losers will watch whatever she shits out.
Oh…what? Her “friend” suggested that she play this game called 50 Caliber to celebrate 50,000 subscribers. Who the fuck was this idiot? Just because it has the word “fifty” in it? That’s the dumbest fucking that I ever heard of.
2:00 – “I never played this before.”
Oh…I’m so *nostalgic* for that. Some things never change.
Then she just starts describing what the character is wearing. Can you fucking believe this? Why would anybody watch this? What’s the erotic element to this?
I guess that it’s like people are into feet or something. It’s a phenomena that exists, we all know that it exists, but most people don’t understand it.
Watch this gameplay. Holy shit. It’s one of those games with weird controls where the shooting direction and the movement direction are two separate controls. She doesn’t have a fucking clue. She’s just spinning around constantly.
She describes the bullets as looking like Twinkies or baguettes. Oh. That’s really funny, Erin. X looks like Y. This is some of that hilarious commentary that got her to 50,000 subscribers.
Oh my god. I’m a few minutes in. I thought that she would get better with this. No. She’s still just spinning around. WHY DID SHE RELEASE THIS VIDEO?
This has to be intentional. She released a game with the worst gameplay ever as a way to “troll” the viewer. And she’s doing her usual stupid commentary. She’s saying “X looks like Y”. She’s making Disney references. She’s doing every idiotic thing that I talk about in my reviews. It’s like she went out of her way to make the worst video she can possibly make.
4:00 – “This is our first bossy boss.”
It has to be intentional. If she starts talking about colours, I’m done.
She’s continuing to spin in circles in spite of the fact that the boss is the only enemy on screen.
Then she references this. About how she’s bad at the controls and just keeps spinning around.
She has no fucking clue what she’s doing. She doesn’t know that you’re supposed to wade through the water. Then she gets confused when she moves to a different screen.
6:30 – “It kind of reminds me of my first time playing Guerrilla Warfare.”
Has she done a video or stream of this? She must have. Let me look. Well, I’m not seeing anything on her channels. Maybe it was a Twitch stream that she didn’t upload?
Yeah, this has to be a troll. This is the first that she’s mentioned a game that she apparently hasn’t done a Youtube video or a stream of. There’s even a graphic of this game that she puts on screen. I think that this was prepared ahead of time. Mike told her a game that she should mention.
Oh. Then she says that she streamed it with Mike and it’s on his channel. Okay. Everything makes sense again.
She’s still just spinning around. This is fucking shit.
8:45 – “He’s wearing no shirt under his overalls”
Yeah. That’s true. We can all see that. It’s not funny. It’s not interesting. It’s fucking stupid.
9:00 – She calls baboon type enemies “chimpanzees”. Not knowing her primates is one of her lesser faults but it’s still annoying.
Then she died to these baboons. Then there’s an edit. “Okay, I played through again and I’m trying again”. Yeah. I really, really doubt that she played though the game again. But again, she just keeps spinning in circles.
10:15 – “I didn’t realise when I started but this is obviously a bullet hell type game.”
It’s not. But let’s just try to get through this.
Then she dies after just horrendous, horrendous gameplay and the video mercifully ends.
The real treat here is that she’s wearing a “sexy” dress. Shishi is cleaning up right now.
That had to be the worst gameplay that I’ve ever seen. It’s intentional. It has to be. She intentionally released a video with horrendous gameplay for her “special” 50,000 subscriber video.
– “Here’s a question: How do you get 50K subs in 4 years? My Total Geekgasm channel has been doing retro let’s plays just as long and we only just passed 50 subs.”
Try sucking Mike Matei’s penis.
– “another game i gotta order CMON ERIN!!!!!”
When this guy finds out about emulation, it’s going to blow his mind.
Anyway, very few questions. The vast majority of the comments are just horny losers saying “congrats” or “congratulations.” It’s interesting to see which is more popular. I’d say that “congrats” outperforms “congratulations” by a 3:1 ratio. Fucking idiots too lazy to type out the full word. Or maybe they can’t spell it.