Gamer Girls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDAmqbwzM8g

Five minutes long.  Hey guys!  Remember when Erin put effort into these things?  No, me neither.  And I guess five minutes of trash is better than ten minutes of trash.  So I welcome it.

Just recently, Erin was looking through an old catalogue and gave the most basic of information about Game Gear.  “It’s in colour and it’s more expensive than the Gameboy!”  That’s all she knew about this thing like three or four week ago.  But now she’s a Game Gear expert and is going to tell us all about it.  Rare variants?  Tell me more, you retro gaming goddess.

0:00 – “We’ve all heard about the ultra rare, Japan-only, Pepsi Man game.”

Yeah.  From that awful AVGN episode last year or whatever.  At least, that’s where I heard about it.  I’m sure that Erin has been playing this thing since it came out.  She imported it.  In 1999.  As an 11 year old.

“But did you know that Coca-Cola also had their own Japanese-only mascot character in the 90s?”

No.  Because I didn’t care enough to look this up on Wikipedia like you did.  I don’t earn my living through churning out shit “content” on Youtube so it wasn’t something that I sought out.

Then she reads the Wikipedia article for this game.

Then she talks about the fucking particular shade of red on this thing.  She compares is to the Target Gameboy Advance, which is something that she did a video on, of course.

0:45 – She compares the game to Final Fight.  She recently did a video on Final Fight.

It’s just ridiculous.  How can anyone buy this shit?  She never makes a reference to something that she hasn’t done on Youtube or on Twitch because those are the only games she knows.  She doesn’t do this shit in her spare time and she never played a game until 3 years ago when she started this shit Youtube channel.

1:45 – There’s “wall jumping” in the game so she references Batman and Ninja Gaiden, two games that she did Youtube videos on.

I don’t understand why Mike doesn’t fucking help her with these.  An easy thing he could do is give her OTHER GAMES that she could reference.  That way it wouldn’t be so fucking obvious that she has zero experience with video games.

She refers to an obvious kickboxer or thai boxer as a “boxer”.  Way to exercise that knowledge of Japanese culture.

Then she complains that the enemies aren’t cute enough.

2:15 – “I always end up falling off the skateboard pretty quickly whenever I get one.”

That’s what happens when you play a game for five minutes.  Put the time in, Erin.  You’ll get better.  Maybe.

2:30 – “I didn’t end up beating the game.”

No shit.  Because you played it ONCE.  For five minutes.  For the purposes of making this shit video.

Then she Googles other Coco-Cola related video game consoles.

3:00 – Then she plays some Power Rangers game.  Why?  It has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of this video.  But she only had three minutes of material.  So she had to pad this out.

“I love the SNES game of the same title, which I also did a video on.”

Of course.  You don’t have to fucking say it.  It’s taken as read that any game you mention, you did a video on it.

3:30 – “In kindergarten, I really wanted to be Kimberly for Halloween”.

You see how out of place this is?  The only time she has any *nostalgia* to share, it’s about NON-GAMING shit.  It’s because she has no experience with video games.

Also, her *nostalgia* is always really shit.  It’s always about things that she DIDN’T do.  What the fuck did she do?  Give us some *nostalgia* of things that you actually fucking did.  That’s how it normally, works right?  Her *nostalgia* is all regrets of things that she didn’t do.  That’s really, really sad.

Then she says that at least she can be Kimberly now.  But she isn’t.  Is she?  Is she dressing up for Mike as a Power Ranger?  Why?  Maybe that’s what he needs to get off.

But what grown woman wants to dress as a Power Ranger?  And I don’t even think that she is doing this.  So again, this is some kind of *nostalgia* for things that she DIDN’T DO.

“When I was a kid, I didn’t play video games.  That was so awesome.  I miss that.”  Don’t worry, Erin.  You can still not play video games as an adult.

3:45 – Then she makes some kind of weird noise out of nowhere.  Shishi has already clipped this section and added it to his spank bank.

4:00 – Then she mentions that fighting games on handhelds were inferior to their console brethren.  Oh, gee.  I didn’t know that.  Thanks for that bit of video game information.

“The first version of Street Fighter II was for the Gameboy.  Maybe that’s why I never got into that particular franchise.”

Well, that and the fact that you’re not interested in video games and never have been.

Then the video just abruptly ends.  What the fuck?

This is such absolute trash.  WHO’S WATCHING THIS SHIT?

She never even appears on screen during this review.  So…what?  You’re jerking off to bad gameplay?  I don’t get it.

– “Too short and not enough Erin.”

Yeah, this is what I’m talking about.  This is what people are watching the videos for.  This guy wants to jerk off to a middling-attractive 32 year old woman.  I don’t know why but that’s his thing.

– “‘Well… Thats interesting’ -Erin”

Yeah.  Some of that biting wit from Erin.

– “You so thicc and that’s good”

Literally, the only thing you see of Erin in this video are her hands.  That’s enough for this guy.  “Oh yeah…look at those thicc hands.”

– “That Game Gear is really cool, Erin. Almost as cool as you.”

He actually thinks that he’s going to get a date from this.

– “Interesting! I never heard of this (or the Pepsi game).”

Speaking of riveting “Youtubers”, that boring as fuck comment was from Pam aka CannotBeEntertaining.

Honestly, look at her comments.  She replies to a lot of comments on her channel.  THEY’RE AWFUL.  It’s the most boring fucking generic shit that you’ve ever read in your life.

– “Thank you for doing the ‘Putty Noise'” Really made my week!!”

Yeah.  That guy is jerking off over this.  No doubt about it.  What kind of bizarre sexual fetishes do these people have?  “Oh yeah…a fake gamer grrl did some nerd thing…hot!”

They don’t even care that it’s fucking fake.  It’s enough to have a woman pretending to like nerd shit.

– “Yeah the Japanese are pretty kinky….Haha and yeah, wow that is one beautiful game gear. Are you selling it?”

This guy actually wants to buy a game simply because it was owned by Erin.  You know what she should do?  Start selling her used panties.  That would be a good way to make some money.  And people would fucking buy it.  $50, whatever?  Could probably get more if they had some skidmarks in them.

– “Wall jumping you say?? Watch out Mega Man X & Zero, too!!”

She hasn’t played those games, you fucking idiot.  Did you see a video of them before?

 – “;..and then plows your face into her tits.’ Tremendous”

This is what an earlier guy was referencing, by the way.  Yeah, people get off simply from Erin saying “tits”.  

– “Mikes giving away hand me downs now…..tough times at the mateis”

A rare negative comment.  That guy will be banned soon.  But yeah, this is probably Mike’s Game Gear and/or game.

– “You are beautiful awesome girl …..May I give you a proposal”

– “Hitting like for that Putty impression!”

– “Erin Plays you can’t say tits! You’re pure and innocent! Lol”

Then Erin suggests that she’ll say “bzaoongas” (sic) next time and that REALLY gets this loser excited.

– “.. I wanted to see your face :(“

– “The red Target GBA is pretty cool. But I need to get my hands on the brown Kohl’s Wii bowling ball.”

That was from Mike.  He’s not using the Cinemassacre account today.

– “I wish we had seen you in the video”

– “Erin is a Gangsta keep it”

This is all that “she” does.  “Her” name is Ashley.  Could be a guy’s name, I guess, so maybe they aren’t trying to fool anyone.

But yeah, “she” also makes the same comment about Mike in this video.  And in a previous video, “she” spammed this comment about several people involved in Cinemassacre.  Why?  It’s fucking stupid.  What do these idiots hope to achieve with these comments?