Visit My Taipei Apartment (Tour) – KathleenMMS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=busXatZ8ulM

It starts with this woman getting defecated on by a hedgehog.  And she goes on and on about this.  Then she shows the hedgehog, still with a gaping anus, and says, “Do I look like a toilet to you?”

What the fuck is this?  I was excited for this video.  KathleenMMS is my favourite gamer grrl (even though I rarely watch her videos) and apartment tours are my favourite type of video.  But she starts it with this disgusting bullshit that would even make James Rolfe uncomfortable.

This woman is mentally ill, obviously, it’s something that she talks about a lot, but come on.  Mentally ill people are still accountable for their behaviour.

So after that unpleasantness, she starts talking about coronavirus in Taiwan (where she lives) versus “the States” (where she’s from).  The United States?  I guess so.  Which state in particular?  I think Texas.

I fucking hate this shit.  Dumb non-Americans will say “the States” due to their low intellect.  But REALLY dumb Americans abroad will also say “the States” as a way to ape these dumb non-Americans who say “the States”.  Take your fucking states and shove them up your ass.  You can’t say “the US”?  That extra syllable is too much for you?  I’d even accept “America”.  And fuck those Canadians who claim to be “Americans”.

3:00 – She shows off her collection of hedgehog statues and whatever.  Going back to that live hedgehog, how long do hedgehogs live?  Let me look this up.  Three to seven years.  That’s something of commitment.  Is she going to stay in Taiwan for another three to five years?  She’s teaching English.  A lot can change in three to five years.

I never got any fucking pets because I move a lot, I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, and it’s just a giant pain in the ass.  If you have to leave the country for whatever reason, that pet is as good as dead.  Do you want that on your conscious?  “Oh, I was lonely so I got a pet but now I have to give it to a shelter because I’m moving.”  Just be lonely.

I was in some terrible shared house in London, fucking…I don’t know…eight people in it.  There were a couple of married couples living there.  Imagine that.  Being married and living in a shared house.  And one of these couples was fucking…I don’t know…late 30s.  And the woman got pregnant and they were going to raise the child in this shared house.  That’s when I got the fuck out of there, for unrelated reasons.  But that’s fucking crazy.  I know it’s expensive in London but get your own place or go back to fucking Australia and raise the child.  The guy was from Australia.

Anyway, the other couple split up.  There was a lot of fighting and breaking of glass and shit.  They were from South Africa.  It was so fucking uncomfortable.  I hated every god damn second of living in a shared house.

So the dude leaves.  He moves out.  And this woman immediately gets a dog.  What the fuck?  She’s lonely because her husband left so she gets a fucking dog.  In this shared house with eight people.  Soon to be with a baby.

It’s disgusting.  It’s not that I don’t like animals.  I do like animals.  That’s why I don’t have animals.  I’m not responsible enough.  I’m not settled enough.  I’m not going to get an animal just to feel good about myself for a little while and then dispose of it when circumstances change.  Alternatively, you become a slave to this animal.  “Oh, I can’t go where I want and do what I want because of this fucking cat.”

Anyway, just a little pet *nostalgia* for you.  Kind of.

5:00 – She tries to pronounce “Krakow” like a native would.  Fuck off.

9:30 – She shows you more of her hedgehog.  By the way, this woman lives in a tiny studio.  I know it’s a hedgehog and doesn’t need a yard to run around in but space it at a premium and she has this fairly large cage on the floor.  It’s just…why?

She also showed her toy collection earlier.  It wasn’t huge but the whole time I was thinking, “YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO MOVE ALL THIS SHIT AGAIN SOON!  WHY KEEP ADDING TO YOUR TROUBLES?”

When I was living in shared accommodation, I never bought ANYTHING.  Everything I had fit into one suitcase and it enabled me to move easily.  The only thing I bought was a tv, and this was still when they had CRT tv’s but it was a small tv so not too much of a hassle.

When I got my own place, I bought a futon, a wardrobe, and a little stand for my computer.  That’s it.  My first place was part-furnished so it had a bed but I lived in other places that were unfurnished so this futon served the role of seat and bed.  And most of these places didn’t have built in closets so you needed a stand alone wardrobe.

That’s how I lived for…fuck…seven years.  Something like that.  Whenever I moved, I’d have to disassemble this shit (it was all Ikea furniture) and move.  Sometimes, if I was just moving fairly nearby, I would carry that shit by hand over the course of…I don’t know…twenty trips.  That’s why I was so concerned about limiting what I purchased because it’s a giant fucking hassle to move everything and I didn’t want to spend the £50 to hire a mover with a van.

I also got another chair and a little end table at some point.

A couple of years ago, after like 12 years of living abroad, I finally bought a bed.  It really adds to the hassle of moving, I can no longer fit all of my shit in a normal van, I have to pay extra to get a larger van, but…I’m living in a bigger place now…it seemed ridiculous to have two empty rooms.  I barely even use that bed, though.  I still prefer the futon.  It helps with the ladies, I guess, but the ladies didn’t mind the futon.

Anyway, just some moving *nostalgia* for you.

10:00 – Then she shows her fucking hedgehog.  Are hedgehogs even domesticated?  This thing seems compliant not because it’s enjoying being handled but because it’s a tiny prey animal who’s petrified.  She thinks she’s going to be eaten.

Then she fucking lectures us about being a responsible pet owner.  Fuck you.  Some crazy woman in a tiny apartment in Taiwan telling us about the importance of…whatever.

Then she’s fucking waving this hedgehog around as she continues her tour of the apartment.  This thing looks terrified.  Would you want to be swung around like 80 feet in the air by some monster 100 times bigger than you?  A monster with known mental health problems?  One slip and you’re dead.

11:15 – She just has a hot plate.  No oven.  She claims that in Taiwan, people don’t cook because it’s cheaper to eat out.  Maybe.

No microwave either, as far as I can see.  Yeah.  I went like 12 years without a microwave because I didn’t want more shit to move.  Then I moved into a place where the previous tenant left their microwave so I decided to take it with me when I moved and I’ve had it ever since.  It’s a piece of shit but it does in fact microwave food.  But yeah, you don’t need a microwave.  Makes things easier, though.  Oh, but I bought a George Foreman grill early on so I’d use that for reheating food.  It has a griddle section.

12:30 – Now she actually addresses the issue of the difficulty of moving.  She says that she doesn’t have many books because it makes it difficult to move.  Yeah.  So if she knows this, why did she get this…I mean…she’s not doing too badly.  It’s just that fucking hedgehog, really.

13:15 – She talks about her book Gay Berlin.  We get it.  You’re gay.  Nobody gives a fuck about your gayness or Berlin’s gayness.  Move on.

15:30 – Then she lectures us about coronavirus.  Fuck you.  Wash your own fucking hands.  What I do with my hands is my business.

I mean really.  What the fuck?  I’m not a child.  I decide my personal hygiene regime.  Not some fucking crazy woman in Taiwan.

This is fucking dreadful.  “If your government is encouraging you to social distance, do that.”

Earlier in the video, she talked about how “progressive” Germany was before the Nazis took over.  It’s true.  Not just about the buttsex but generally.  And not two minutes later, she’s telling you to blindly do what your government tells you to do.

“If your government is encouraging you to put people in ovens, do that.”  No, I think I’ll do some independent thinking.

“Watch cat videos.  Turn off your brain”.  Fuck you.  Just roll out the red carpet for Hitler why don’t you?

Then she does some crazy dancing. Fuck off.

“Stay hydrated.  Stay safe.  And stay committed to the goals of lebensraum.”  Yeah, no.  I think that that’s all bullshit, thank you very much.  Is that still allowed?  Am I allowed to call bullshit on things or will the Schutzstaffel take me away?

Then she literally drapes herself in a “trans rights” flag.  What is this?  The fucking Nuremberg Rally?  I hope that they show Triumph of the Will.

Anyway, what a shit fucking apartment tour.  SHE DIDN’T EVEN SHOW THE BATHROOM!  She had two fucking rooms in her house, as far as I could tell.  There was a bedroom and there was a weird “kitchen”…I guess?  It was just a little hallway area.

What’s going on in that bathroom?  I wanted to see if she has a full bath or just a stand alone shower or a wet room or what.  Is it a squat toilet or a Western toilet?  What’s she hiding in there?  Josef Mengele?

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