Gamer Girls

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTeiCKjs51o

This shit again.  The reason she does these Blockbuster rental “reviews” is because the first such video she did performed well by her standards.  It’s currently at 58,000 views, which is about twice what she normally gets.  

But the second time she did one of these Blockbuster “reviews”, the video performed merely average.  It’s at 32,000 views at the moment.

I reviewed both videos here:

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/03/top-blockbuster-nes-rentals-in-1991.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2021/04/top-blockbuster-nes-rentals-in-1994.html

Here’s what’s happening.  When people initially saw this Blockbuster video, just from the title, they thought, “Oh, Erin is trying something new.  Let’s check it out.”

Then they watched the video and realise that it was the same old bullshit where she “reviews” games that she played for a few seconds, for the purposes of the video.  So they didn’t bother watching the second video.

You don’t get viewer retention by churning out crap.  People can only be burned so many times before they move on.  Erin needs to learn to put out GOOD CONTENT in order to get people to watch her videos.  She can’t seem to figure this out.  

The problem is that she’s completely incapable of producing good content.  Presumably, she wants to put out good videos.  She just can’t.  She knows nothing about video games and has no interest in this shit.  So this is what you get.  It’s a project that’s completely doomed to failure.  When is she going to figure this out?  Do something else with your life.

0:00 – “The year is 1995 and you already ate your stuffed crust pizza.”

Don’t tell me what I did, Erin.  Tell me what YOU were doing in 1995.  Was it anything?  Were you eating stuffed crust pizza?  No, you were eight years old and staring at a wall.

0:15 – “This list was a fun one for me because a lot of these games were a part of my childhood.”

Uh huh.  Which ones?  I’ll assume that Super Mario World and/or Yoshi’s Island are on the list.  If it’s anything else, she’s lying.  But let’s find out.  

0:30 – Killer Instinct.  Before I proceed with the video, Erin has indeed claimed to have owned this game for the SNES.  But she never played it.  This is one that she admits to never playing.  She owned it but never played it.

“The first violent video game I’ve ever played because it came with my Super Nintendo console.”

Yeah.  She talked about this in a video she did with John Hancock.

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/09/video-games-we-played-as-kids-what-did.html

That’s a bizarre video.  I encourage everyone to check it out.  Any video that Erin does with another person is always fascinating.  She always gets exposed as a liar and a fraud.

1:00 – “I’m getting flashbacks to playing Street Fighter 2 on the Game Boy as a kid.”

Uh huh.  Why is this the first that we’re hearing about this?  

And Erin played Mortal Kombat 11, I think, with Mike and it was absolutely shocking.  I can’t find the video now, I wouldn’t be surprised if Mike deleted it, but it was really something.  

1:15 – “So I never bothered to wonder about the storyline until now but here it is.”  

Then she just reads from Wikipedia.  Oh my god.  Can this be any lazier?  

1:30 – “The game is even enjoyable if you’re someone like me who can not do combos or pull off super cool fatalities.”

Erin has said many times that she didn’t play this game.  She didn’t like the game.  Why would she?  It’s a game for 14 year old boys.  But now she’s claiming that she’s all about Killer Instinct.

1:45 – “It’s often referred to as one of the greatest fighting games of all time.”

This sentence probably ended with “citation needed” on Wikipedia.  Who considers Killer Instinct to be one of the best fighting games?  But of course Erin doesn’t know any better.

2:00 – Power Rangers.  “Being a kid during this time was awesome and Kimberly was my hero.”

Why have we never heard about Erin’s love for Power Rangers before?  She’s so *nostalgic* for all of these children’s shows from before she was born but we’ve never heard about Power Rangers.  But now she’s all about Power Rangers.

“Remember Susie Q on the Disney Channel?”

No.  I don’t know what you’re talking about.  Why don’t you enlighten us, Erin.  Don’t just say, “Hey guys!  Remember X?”  Actually tell us about it.  What was Susie Q?  What did you like about it?  

3:15 – Judge Dredd.  Then it’s over to trusty Wikipedia dot com.

“It’s an action platformer that I have not played until I made this video.”

You don’t say.  By the way, I think that the Power Rangers footage was from when Erin played the game for a Youtube video like three years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rm1DMUANmbg

4:00 – “Do any of you guys like this game?  Let me know in the comments.”

Why?  Are you going to play the game on the strength of some horntard saying that he likes it?  She doesn’t play games in her spare time.  Why the constant lies?

Then it’s NBA Jam: Tournament Edition.  Wikipedia dot com.

She refers to “wonderfully dated catch phrases” and “razzle dazzle” appears on screen along with the synthesised voice of Dick Vitale or somebody.  But no, people weren’t saying “razzle dazzle” in “the 90s”.  

Then she shows about two seconds of the commercial (maybe not even that long) to illustrate how “1995” it is.  I have no idea what’s so “1995” about that two second portion of the commercial.

4:30 – Donkey Kong Country 1 and 2.  Is she going to check out Wikipedia?  She is indeed.

5:30 – She claims to have owned Donkey Kong Country 2 as a child.  Uh huh.

Is she going to talk about how she liked Dixie Kong?  Oh.  I didn’t have to wait long.  Yes, she did indeed enjoy playing as Dixie Kong and whipping her hair around.  Cute.

6:30 – “1995.  That was a really good year, wasn’t it?”

You tell us, Erin.  What did you like about the year 1995?  Are you able to say anything remotely interesting AT ALL?

“Or maybe that’s just my *nostalgia* glasses talking.”

I’m ten years older than Erin so the arithmetic is always easy to do.  You know what I remember about the year 1985?  Not a single thing.  I was seven years old.  What grade are you in then?  Second?  

Let me think….second grade.  I mean, I remember stuff about school.  Going to school.  I remember what teacher I had.  I have maybe three memories of that year in school.

I was taught by a nun.  I stole a little plastic three-legged donkey from her class and I felt really bad about it.  The fourth leg had broken off.  It was just a little toy.  It was like clear, red plastic.  

Is this the woman who said that you should be happy when people die?  Yeah, it must have been because I remember my grandfather died, it was around this time, and I couldn’t understand why everybody was crying when the news broke.

What this woman said is true from a theological basis.  If you genuinely believe that when you die, your soul goes to heaven and there are dancing girls and whatever then you should be happy when people die.  These people are living it up now.  Life on earth is full of suffering but life in heaven is pretty sweet.

The reason that people aren’t happy when somebody dies is because they don’t actually believe any of that.  It’s just something that they say to try to feel better.  “He’s in a better place” and whatnot but they don’t actually believe it.

She also gave away her classroom possessions at the end of the year.  I think that she was retiring and she didn’t have anyone to give the stuff away to because she was a nun.  No family.  So I got a duck-shaped…what do you call it…a pot to put plants in.  It was like an Easter duck.  And yeah, my parents used it to put some plants in.  It might still be somewhere with a plant in it.

Oh, this woman also told a story about how she was once working in an office and then she heard God call her name so she got up and moved somewhere and a few seconds later, a giant light fell from the ceiling and had she still been sitting there, she would have been hit and possibly killed, I guess.  Maybe just badly hurt.  Perhaps this is what made her become a nun.  

Other than these things, I don’t remember anything about 1985.  I don’t remember what was happening in the broader culture.  I don’t remember anything about video games.  I don’t know if I was even playing video games.  Maybe Atari 2600 but it wasn’t a big interest of mine.

I don’t remember anything about Ronald Reagan at all.  I don’t remember watching any tv shows.  I don’t remember seeing any movies.  I wasn’t listening to any music.  I don’t remember doing anything with friends that I can pinpoint happened in 1985.  I don’t remember any of the toys.

So yeah.  1985 was a great year.  I guess.  The only thing I remember are stories that my second grade teacher told me.  

Presumably 1995 is similar for Erin.  Why the lies?  Why the fake *nostalgia*?  Why the shitty videos?  This was another absolute zero effort video from Erin.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=geILc-mUhmY

So this is two and a half hours of Erin playing Doom Eternal, on stream, for money.

She originally discussed wanting to do this way back in April 2020.  These were the first blog posts that I made, I think.

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/original-doom-practice-stream-okay-let.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/doom-1-gzdoom-practice-stream-erin.html

https://gamergrrlsofficial.blogspot.com/2020/04/playing-some-original-doom-erin-plays.html

She played the original Doom (a modded version) in an effort to “get good” and “graduate” to Doom Eternal.  But she never managed that.  She was really, really, unbelievably bad at Doom.  She also made the remarkable confession that this was the first time that she ever played a game “with mouse and keyboard” before.  

Two and a half hours…well, let’s see how it goes.  If it’s good, I’ll do a multi-part series.  If it’s bad, I’ll quit after ten minutes.  If it’s somewhere in the middle, I’ll skip around the video looking for anything worth talking about.

0:15 – “I played this when it first came out and it’s like one of the only modern games that I’ve really….enjoyed.”

I thought that she was going to say “played”.  And she probably was.  But no.  She caught herself.  It’s one of the only modern games that she’s enjoyed.  Because she’s all about retro games.  That’s “where her hearts is.”  She only plays games on stream, for money, in case anyone is new here.

“It’s been about a year since I’ve played it.”

Yeah.  Over a year.  I mentioned the Doom streams that she was doing.  This was all just to prepare her for Doom Eternal.  She might have played it briefly, on stream, for money with Mike.  I don’t remember.  

Then she says that she probably won’t be very good at the game and she implies that it’s because she hasn’t played the game in over a year.  

First of all, if she has played this game, it was very, very briefly.  And on stream, for money.  So of course she’s not going to be good at the game.

Secondly, she has very little experience with video games AT ALL.  That’s why she’s bad at every game that she plays.  It’s not unique to Doom Eternal.

Thirdly, if you want to get better at games ACTUALLY START PLAYING VIDEO GAMES IN YOUR SPARE TIME.  

0:30 – She has a poll for the horntards to decide which “blind bag” she should open.  This is…stupid.  So she’s only going to open one of them?  What is she going to do with the other one?  Wipe her ass with it?  

The options are a cute banana bag or a Sailor Moon bag.  I just don’t get what she’s doing here.  Open both of them.  What the fuck?  What kind of idiotic chat interaction is this?  

And who cares anyway?  What do I care what’s in this bag?  

Then there’s an edit.  Let’s see what she’s hiding.

She’s talking to the chat.  Somebody says something that they’ve done.  Erin says, “That’s cool”.  That’s her usual response.

Some horntard says that he liked part 2 of her Castlevania 64 video.  Erin says, “It’s probably the most detailed review that I’ve done.”  Really.  I’ve noticed no difference between that video and her other boring as fuck videos.  In fact, that video was more boring than is typical for Erin.  I barely got through it.

That’s it.  Why bother editing this out?  Why go to the effort?

1:45 – She lacks the strength to open the bag so gets scissors.  Another edit.  

She gets the scissors, greets the horntards, and then says that she never streamed Doom Eternal but has played it in her spare time.  I’ll bet.  For how many minutes?

2:00 – She bungles the unbagging badly.  She’s holding the bag to the camera, she’s cut it open, she’s about to pull the thing out of the bag, then for whatever reason, she gets tripped up and drops her hands.  So we can’t see what was in the fucking bag.  We missed the great reveal.

Anyway, it’s Sailor Mars.  Erin says, “She’s cute”.  Great stuff, Erin.  

But now I’m curious about that banana bag.  What’s inside?  Some kind of cute anthropomorphic banana, I’d imagine, but what is he or she doing?  Or wearing?  

2:30 – “Maybe later we’ll open this one: banana cat.”

Oh.  Now THIS is going to make me watch the full two and a half hours.  It’s a banana cat.  I didn’t catch that the first time.  

Okay, so I’ve DuckDuckGo’d this now.  They’re keychains depicting semi-peeled bananas with a Japanese anime type cat face on them.  If you follow.  The tagline is “the cat who lives in a banana.”  There seem to be four possibilities but they all look the same to me.  Maybe that’s racist.  I’m being racist to Japanese anime cat bananas.

Then there’s another edit.  

Some horntard gave her money and said that she’s his third favourite streamer.  She makes a face at this and says, “At least I’m in the top ten.”

What an ego.  Erin, who makes complete dog shit streams, thinks that she’s deserving to be people’s favourite streamer.  

He also says that she’s the most beautiful streamer and she says, “I don’t know about that but thank you for being honest…about the favourite streamer part.”  She’s still annoyed that the guy said that she’s his third favourite streamer.

Then other horntards say that she’s their favourite streamer.

She says that this isn’t on the “new X-Box”.  “What’s it called?  I always forget what it’s called.”

Yet another example of Erin “always” “forgetting” something related to video games. 

Now we’re back to the Youtube version.  

3:15 – Wow.  This is bad.  She’s at the beginning of the game and she’ll look at an enemy, line him up, take another second to make sure that he’s in her sights, and then shoot.  

Also, why is she playing this on a console?  Everyone knows that first person shooters are better played “with mouse and keyboard.”  I don’t even know how these games work on consoles.  I’ve never played a first person shooter on a console.  But my understanding is there’s some kind of aimbot that assists you.  That’s probably why she’s playing a console version.

3:30 – Okay.  So she killed the three zombies or whatever, then she tries to open a door but it was just her secondary attack.  She elbowed the door instead.  Then she looks around this SINGLE ROOM and says, “Did I do something wrong?”

She’s stuck in the first fucking room of the game.  Please explain to me how she could have possibly played this game before.  Or ANY game.  Of ANY genre.  

How is it possible that somebody could get stuck in the first room of the game?  Even if you’ve never played it before.  If that door is supposed to open, she obviously pressed the wrong button.  It’s just unbelievable.  Go back there and press all of the fucking buttons.

“Did I come in the wrong way?”

She’s already lost.  She’s lost in the first fucking room of the game.  How the fuck did she play this before?  It’s impossible.  It’s just more insane, ridiculous, obvious lies from her.

Then it turned out that she had to kill another guy.  But…that wasn’t actually the problem.  She wasn’t trapped in the first place.  She just didn’t explore the area.  She was running around in circles.  In the first fucking room.  In this game that she says she played before.

4:00 – “I’m playing this on X-Box because I really like how the controller feels.”

Plus, the aimbot.  Plus, she has almost no experience playing games “with mouse and keyboard”.

“I pay a lot more attention to controllers now, like how they feel, since I have such…umm…hand problems.”

Shout out to her fake carpal tunnel syndrome.

4:15 – Okay, we got the chainsaw.  It’s always fun.”

She’s never seen this before.  She never got this far in the game before.  

4:30 – After you get the chainsaw, a little tutorial plays, showing you how to use it.  Erin says, “I like this because they like let you have little demos to learn how to use it.  So I like that.”

So all this tutorial did was show you how to change weapons.  Specifically, how to change to the chainsaw.  You press “X”.  

Now there are three like dummy zombies for you to practice this on.  This is all part of the tutorial.  Erin doesn’t know what the fuck she’s supposed to do here.  She jumps and then just presses all of the buttons and then by brute force, she figures out what button she was supposed to press.

The game just fucking started.  She’s playing the tutorial.  And she doesn’t know what she’s doing.  Even when the tutorial told her exactly what to do not two seconds earlier.

5:00 – Then she starts looking for a “secret”.  “Isn’t there a secret here?  Like you get a little action figure?”

You tell us, Erin.  You’ve played this before.  Allegedly.

Then she immediately gives up and says, “No?  Okay, maybe it’s somewhere else.  Well, whatever.”

5:45 – Then she’s lost again.  “Chill out, Erin.  Which way are you going?”

She’s on the first fucking level.  The tutorial level.  Of this game that she says she’s played before.  There’s only way to go.  It’s completely linear.  

Then she goes back to where she started.  How is it fucking possible that she’s played this before?  Why is the chat not rioting?  

6:00 – “See, I’m too honest.  I’m telling you that I’m nervous to stream this because I don’t really stream newer games.”

Oh yeah.  Erin is “too honest.”  

Maybe Erin can in all honesty explain to us how it’s possible to get lost in the first level of a game that she’s played before.  It’s nothing to do with playing the game, on stream, for money.  ANYONE would be able to navigate this level without any difficulty, on stream or off stream.  Even if they’ve never played it before.  

How is it remotely possible that she’s played this before?  

You had to punch something.  You had to punch a wall.  I guess.  Erin didn’t know this.  Even though a tutorial popped up when you got near this breakaway wall.  How did Erin not know that this is what you’re supposed to do?  She’s played this before.  Or so she says.  THIS IS THE FIRST FUCKING LEVEL OF THE GAME.

And when the tutorial for “punchable walls” came up, Erin said, “Punchable Lunchable.”  Hey guys!  Remember Lunchables?  

I do, Erin.  I remember them.  Now focus on what you’re doing.  Show us what a pro you are at this game.  At least get through the fucking tutorial level.

6:15 – “Oh, that’s why it didn’t work.  I didn’t have the double jump yet.”  This was another tutorial.  She didn’t know about this double jump thing.  From the tutorial level.  In spite of the fact that she’s played the game before.

7:00 – “Sorry, I’ll look at the chat.  I just got into this.  (reads)  I do like this game.  It’s really fun.  It’s like I said earlier, it’s really like one of the only modern games that I’ve really enjoyed.”

Oh sure.  You’re a real pro, Erin.  You’ve clearly put a lot of time into this.

How can she possibly expect anyone to believe this?  All she does is lie.  Everything she says is a lie.  

7:15 – “I played this when it came out.  I didn’t get super far in it.”

She didn’t get past the first fucking room of the first fucking level.  How far is she actually claiming she got to?  Because so far, absolutely everything has been a surprise to her.  Everything has been a struggle.

“But I did play it when it came out.”

For how long?  Seconds?  It’s probably literally a matter of seconds that she played this game.  And she has the audacity to sit there and say that she not only played the game before but that she LIKES it.  It’s the only modern game that she likes.  And look at this.  Look at this fucking gameplay.  She doesn’t have the foggiest idea what’s going on.  She got lost in the first fucking room.  

8:00 – “How would I rate it?  Well, I’ve only played like Doom II, Doom 64, stuff like that.  Like it’s totally different from Doom II.”

Well, obviously.  But how do you rate it?  Compare it to other first person shooters.  You’ve played other first person shooters, right?  

Of course she hasn’t.  And she only played those games on stream, for money.  And it wasn’t even Doom II that she played.  It was Ultimate Doom, which, from my understanding, is an expansion for the original Doom.  It added levels.  And then she added a mod to it called GDoom or something that lets you look around and aim using the mouse.

“Like I would play like Brutal Doom and stuff and I really liked those.”

I don’t think that she’s played Brutal Doom.  Show me the stream.  Mike streamed it, though.  That’s how she knows about it.

She thinks that what she played before, in the links that I’ve provided, from over a year ago, were Doom II and/or Brutal Doom.  She doesn’t even know what any of this is.  She doesn’t know what a mod is or all of these expansions and shit.  I don’t even know what they are and I’ve played the fucking games.  There’s loads of this shit.  

I played Final Doom as a kid.  Which one is Final Doom?  I have no fucking idea.  It’s something.  

“I like it.  I can’t really…ummm…compare it to that.”

Why not?  I haven’t played Doom Eternal but I’ll compare it to the older Doom games.  It sucks ass.  I don’t want to play this shit.  I don’t even want to play the original Doom.  Or whatever I had.  They all look the same.

8:45 – Then she mentions some modern games that she allegedly likes (upon the prompting of the horntards, who had to remind her what games she likes) and then she says, “I don’t know.  I just like my retro games.  I’m sorry.”

What proof exists for Erin liking retro games?  Every fucking game, “I’ve never played this before.”  Or on the few occasions where she says that she has played the game before, she knows absolutely nothing about the game and gets completely lost on the first fucking level.  Just like she’s done here.  Everything is a surprise to her.  Everything is new.  

“I don’t know a lot about Dragonball.  I’m sorry.”

Maybe that can be her next fake interest.  The horntards are really into Dragonball, Erin.  Watch a few episodes.  Then make a video about it.  Maybe buy some of the toys.  Put them on your shitty shelf next to Skeletor.

After she misses a few zombies, really, really badly, she says, “This game is really satisfying to play.”

Yeah…

Is she even going to get through the first level?  I don’t want to watch this any more.  I’m at ten minutes.  That’s enough.

10:00 – She takes loads of damage from these level one enemies.  “One thing I got to get better at is looking around and moving a lot more than I move.”

Umm…I don’t even know what she’s saying.  But I’m not sure if that’s the problem.  You suck, Erin.  Work on that.  Try to suck less.

She keeps going back and forth over this bridge and I think that enemies are respawning.  And she just keeps missing her shots and taking more and more damage.  Why is she just pacing up and down this bridge?  Go find the fucking exit.

“Like I said, it’s been a year since I’ve played this so I’m not going to be too hard on myself.”

She’s clearly never played this AT ALL.  But if she’s afraid that she’s merely a bit rusty, why didn’t she play the game a bit before she streamed it?  You know…in her spare time.  Like a normal person.  A normal person who enjoys video games.

10:30 – She’s lost again.  She just keeps going back and forth to the same place.  I have no idea why.

God, this has to be the worst Doom Eternal footage ever recorded.

11:30 – “Low ammo?  Well, we better find some.”

So she retraces her steps yet again.  It’s ridiculous.  She has no idea how to play the game.  

“I know there’s ammo here unless I already got it all.”

Unbelievable.  She’s been in the same little room for ages now.

12:00 – “Am I going the right way?  I’m not going the right way.”

Are there even levels in this game?  I just want to watch her get through the first level.  But not if it’s going to take an age.  

And just look at this fucking game.  How many women would want to play something like this?  You’re in a gritty, zombie-filled space station or something.  There’s nothing “cute” about this.  Why the fuck would Erin play this?  Erin has absolutely no interest in this.  I can’t imagine ANY woman wanting to play this.  I can’t think of many adult men who would want to play this.  This is a game for 14 year old boys.  

“That’s why I’m telling you that I’m nervous because then you’ll be like, ‘Why can’t she get her surroundings?’ and I’m like, ‘I’m nervous.  My nerves are getting to me’”

That does not even come close to explaining what I’m seeing here.  This is somebody who says that she’s played the game before.  Can you not navigate the tutorial level?  

12:30 – She finally starts going in the right direction and she says, “This part’s funny.”

So she has seen this before.  Apparently.  In some capacity.  At least once.  Maybe somebody else’s playthrough.  Maybe she saw Mike playing the game.  Mike streamed this, by the way.

12:45 – “That’s right.  You do get ammo from chainsawing the monster.  Yeah, that’s right.”

She was reading from the chat.  So why was she looking for ammo?  This was also in the tutorial.  The tutorial explained this.  So instead of looking for ammo, why didn’t she just look for an enemy and do a “glory kill” or whatever it is?  You apparently get ammo from that.  Because she didn’t know about this.

13:15 – So I think that’s the first level over.  She killed the guy.  I don’t know.  There wasn’t a boss fight, it was just a cut scene.  

That’s as much as I can do.  This is some real shit.  She has no clue what she’s doing.  This is absolutely atrocious gameplay.  

There’s also a fucking map.  I guess that Erin “forgot” about the map.  She “always” “forgets” about the map.

Two and a half fucking hours of this.  How can anyone do it?  And you have ShiShi and the gang jerking off over this.  “Oh yeah.   This is a real gamer!  A hot gamer grrl!  She plays Doom!  I want to shoot my space marine jizz in her face!”  Complete fucking retards.

– “You did great for not having played this in a while. I need to finish it myself. I got to the final boss but I just never finished it.”

Are you out of your fucking mind?  First of all, he’s enabling her lies about having played this before.  Secondly, what part of this was at all “great”?  Do you mean the part where she got lost in the very first room of the game?