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Newt’s Racist Death Toll Omission – Malcolm-Jamal Warner
Newt will re-tweet the death of every celebrity, including bizarre choices like Angela Landsbury and Arleen Sorkin. But he neglected to mention Malcolm-Jamal Warner? Somebody who died in a tragic accident at a somewhat young age? A star on the biggest show of the 1980s? This was Newt’s era.
Instead, he tweets about that prostitute “friend” of his whose name I can’t even remember. Not even any fake name that I might have given her.
Is she eating a BLT? Way to splash out, Newt. He’s really at the bottom level of the prostitute hierarchy.
So Fart91 leaves a message saying, “Your movies suck.” I found this the most puzzling of it all. WHAT movies? I’m only aware of Swamp Zombies 2 and I’ve never even really figured out what his involvement was in that.
Why no Malcolm-Jamal Warner death tweet? Presumably racism. Newt enjoys talking about how awful white people are but there never seems to be a homey anywhere near him. You’re telling me that there aren’t any black prostitutes in “cosmopolitan” Philadelphia. The place is surely teeming with sexy sisters who will accept money in exchange for companionship. Put them in a video.
And there’s another connection. Bill Cosby, perhaps the second most famous Philadelphia native. Wait…Benjamin Franklin was born in Boston? Okay, then Cosby is the most famous Philadelphian.
Malcolm-Jamal Warner was from…New Jersey. The Ideas Man is from New Jersey. This is fucking disgusting. Surely, Newt knew about the death. Why no tweet?
He didn’t tweet about Hulk Hogan’s death presumably because of Hogan’s history of racist comments. But…Newt seems to share Hogan’s views. Newt says one thing but then behaves in a totally contrary way.
With the death of Malcolm-Jamal Warner, we’ll never know what, “Jamming on the one” meant.
Maybe the greatest mystery from the show. Stevie Wonder (close personal friends with Cliff Huxtable, I guess) asks Theo, “What would you say at a party?” Theo then says, “Jamming on the one.”
Now, I’m not saying that I’m the biggest party animal by any means. But I have never heard this phrase before or since in any context, before or after this episode was aired. Why would anybody say that at a party? You walk in, there’s music playing, beers are being consumed, and you says, “Hey, everybody. Jamming on the one”? It doesn’t make any sense.
And what about this?
Denise was taking some pottery class with her mother. Clair’s pot was all bent up and shit. So what does Denise say? “I figured out what that thing is. It’s a used teabag holder.”
How is a bent up pot particularly suitable for used tea bags? Was this an ad-lib? I don’t think so because they continue to talk about the used teabag thing and it seems scripted.
And then you get to Theo and Cockroach’s rap…holy shit. Cliff is unhappy with their initial rap (which isn’t included in this clip) and tells them to rewrite it. Three minutes later, they come back with…this.
One of the comments says, “Yep, sounds like they wrote that in 3 minutes….. It’s crap.”
And what about that episode where Cliff just kept saying “callaloo” like 150 times?
He says it repeatedly throughout the episode.
And what about that episode where Clair does that annoying song with her former classmate about Mr…somebody and it goes on for like five minutes?
And for that matter, fuck all of those episodes where there’s an extended musical performance.
How was this show popular? So much of it didn’t make sense. There was barely a narrative in some of the episodes.
Oh, and then there was that episode where Cliff gives birth to a sandwich. I have to look this up or else people will think I’m making this up.
I can only find a version where somebody adds their nerd “comedy” to it but there it is.
This was the number one show in America for like seven years. Let me look this up.
Five years. Seasons two through six. This complete nonsense. Although, surely this pregnancy episode was from a later season. Well, it was season six. The final season when they were number one.
Anyway, it’s a shame about Malcolm-Jamal Warner. The character was loosely based on Bill Cosby’s own son, who died, whatever, 30 years ago. And Cosby gave an interview after the death of Malcolm-Jamal Warner saying that it was like losing his son again.
But the Ideas Man? Can’t even pretend to care. Sorry, Malcolm, you were born the wrong colour to get a death re-tweet by Newt.
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Erin’s Parents Died
Like…YEARS ago. Never mentioned it. But then her DOG died yesterday, and this all came out.
How fucking insane is this? “My dog died. He’s was where my heart is. Oh, by the way, my parents are long dead too.”
I guess I can understand not talking about. Maybe? I had a similar situation a few months ago and I didn’t talk about it. But Erin is a big time celebrity. The horntards want to know. And it would have helped to put SOMETHING about her life on her Twitter or whatever, which is something I’ve talked about many times. Her Twitter is BORING AS FUCK because she never talks about anything even REMOTELY personal. It’s always just advertising her shitty videos and streams and comment-free re-tweeting of “cute” shit that she doesn’t care about.
And she always uses that fucking “I was out of town” comment when she talks about going to California. And it’s always after she’s returned. What is she so concerned about? People are going to ransack the Matei mansion when they’re out?
I can only be somewhat sympathetic. I mean, look at the way she responded. They’ve been dead for years. And from everything I’ve gathered about her parents, from the scant information we’ve been given, they did absolutely nothing with Erin. She stared at a wall her entire childhood. Look at how she turned out. No interests, no hobbies, unable to hold any semblance of a conversation.
But in some small way, as we’ve seen here, having shitty parents is a gift. When they die, you don’t give a shit. When my father died, I was a kid and I cried for months. It was devastating. It changed my life. I suddenly started doing poorly in school. Shit like this.
When my mother died, I didn’t shed one tear. I got a phone call from my weepy sister weeks later. “We couldn’t get in touch with you. There was a funeral.” I was sympathetic. My sister was obviously broken up. But as for me, I couldn’t give less than a fuck. Terrible old woman dies. Okay, let’s move on. It was a relief, frankly. I don’t have to endure her phone calls any more.
Part of it has to do with when the person dies in relation to your own life. All things being equal, parents dying when you’re a child should have more of an effect than parents dying when you’re middle aged. But also, when you have lousy parents, as I did (at least as far as my mother), and I suspect Erin did, it’s pretty easy to get over it. If my mother died as a kid, I don’t think that I’d be too crushed. “Who’s going to not-help me with my homework, not-cook, and not give a fuck about me now? Who’s going to sit on the sofa watching trash talk shows all day?”
So you see the way Erin handled it. She only brought them up in relation to her DOG. The ultimate “fuck you” to her parents. She places them below her dog.
It’s a sad situation and I’ve always been sympathetic to Erin’s tragic upbringing. Those parents created a monster in Erin. Somebody who uses people (Mike Matei, her retarded viewers), somebody who’s incapable of developing interests in anything, somebody who can’t communicate. She’s some sort of a sociopath who doesn’t care about anyone or anything. I don’t think that she was born that way, that’s the result of shitty parenting.
So she gets a bunch of replies. Generally, unlesss you have a Youtube channel, Erin isn’t responding back.
Look at this response from Justin Silverman.
- “Big fan of Pickles. Sorry for your loss.”
Doesn’t even mention her parents. I don’t think that it’s because he’s a giant asshole, I think it’s because he knows that Erin’s parents were lousy.
Oh, look at this. Newt “The Ideas Man” Wallen replied. Of course he did. He can’t resist the death posts. I wonder if he’s going to tweet about Erin’s parents and/or the dog later. He says, “Deepest condolences.”
GREAT STUFF, NEWT. Really heartfelt. What a piece of shit. Speaking of people who nobody will give a shit when they die, Newt Wallen.
But I mentioned in passing in a recent article that I believe that ShiShi is no longer with us. He hasn’t been seen on Twitter or any of his shit since February. He hasn’t posted.
I’ll tell you who else is conspicuous by his absence, JOHN RIGGS. What the fuck? He should have been the first to post. Trying to get into Erin’s pants when she’s all broken up about her dead dog.
Oh and Joe from GameSack, same motivation.
Well, it’s still early, I guess. She only posted this six hours ago. And it’s…well, it would have been like 9:00 pm her time so…like 6:00 pm Joe from GameSack’s time, maybe, and 5:00 pm JOHN RIGGS’ time. So they should have been up and on Twitter, trolling for booty. Although, JOHN RIGGS might still be in Brazil or in transit.
Erin should be in for a windfall, though. What kind of place do you suppose her parents had? They lived in Los Angeles. I assume that they had their own place. Even if it’s something modest, it should be worth a tidy sum. And nobody to split the inheritance with.
What did her father and/or mother do for a living? I’ve never heard her say anything about it. It couldn’t have been too lucrative. Her stories are never anything extravagent and she got a degree in English which is hardly prestigeous. Probably went to a state college.
Maybe Erin can start pulling her weight with Mike now in terms of supporting herself. Maybe it will be Mike leeching off of Erin for a change. That would be a delicious irony. Mike using Erin for money. And Erin is dumb as shit so she doesn’t know how to handle her money. And Mike has a history of manipulating retards for financial gain (e.g. James Rolfe).
Anyway, rest in peace to Pickles. No more pain for that little guy. He’s up there in Doggie Heaven living it up.
And as for Erin’s parents…it seems that she deems them unworthy of a mention. She knows them better than I do. So enjoy the money, Erin.
Or maybe Erin’s parents left all the money to charity.
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BAD GAMES! Every Color Dreams Game on NES – Erin Plays (Part 3 of 3)
21:15 – Secret Scout in the Temple of Demise.
“I think they definitely wanted this to sound like an Indiana Jones movie.”
Astute observation, Zombie Gums.
22:15 – “The first thing you see is the ugliest colour combination you could ever imagine. Just a mess of browns and greens.”
Great stuff, Erin. What a script this was.
Another review that went nowhere. I think that’s…all of them so far.
23:30 – Silent Assault.
23:45 – “The first thing that jumps out about this game are the colours.”
Incredible. What more can even be said at this point? She’s mentally retarded. How else do you explain this? Who the fuck talks about colours all the time to the detriment of everything else?
“Magentas, purples, and bright greens were not what I expected for an army-themed game but I’ll take it.”
Take what? You’re never going to fucking play this again. You didn’t even play it for the “review.”
24:45 – She doesn’t know how to interract with a health item and instead of doing any research at all, or playing the game more, she just asks the horntards to explain in the comments.
25:15 – “Sometimes you get invinsibility but look at the colours. It’s just so random and neon.”
Eugh. Fuck off.
26:00 – She’s describing a computer enemy. “He’s so angry. Look at him. It looks like he’s going chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.”
Cute. And boring. And stupid. And pointless.
“Look at the clowns.”
Cute.
“There’s even rides and a blue giraffe.”
We all love colours here.
“Then there’s this orange giraffe.”
Oh come on. Fuck the fuck off with this fucking bullshit.
She talked about that game FAR longer than any other game. And the reason is clear: it had a lot of colours in it. Can you fucking believe this shit? She got much farther in the game. This is the only game that she played for more than one or two levels and the ENTIRE reason is the COLOURS.
She should play games for toddlers. That should be her thing. Games with a lot of bright colours. Ideally, a game that teaches colours. It would be right up her alley. This seems to be the only legitimate interest that she has. Hues. Everything else is a lie. Video games is a lie. Disney is a lie. Britney Spears is a lie. Her Interest of the Week are obviously all lies. Colours is the only consistent thing that she seems to know about.
I mean, I can’t fault her knowledge about colours. She’s never mis-identified a colour. Well, except for that green urine thing, I guess. But presumably, that’s just the colour of her urine. It’s a medical condition.
But she’s never said, “Hey look at this purple giraffe” and I said, “Wait a minute…that giraffe is orange.” She’s always dead on. She’s mastered colours. She knows them all.
And I guess for Erin, somebody who knows absolutely nothing about anything, she finds comfort in that. “Hey, at least when it comes to colours, I know my stuff.” So good for her. She knows…colours. She’s successfully completed kindergarten.
27:00 – Galactic Crusader.
She had nothing to say about it. No interesting colours.
27:45 – Mission Cobra.
She has nothing to say about this one either.
I’m just looking at Erin’s necklace. One of them, anyway. And she has a crescent moon pendant. Did she convert to Islam in the past six months?
Does this explain the weird outfit? It’s like when the WWE goes to Saudi Arabia and the women wrestlers have to wear those full-body outfits. That’s what this reminds me of.
Has Erin got into professional wrestling? Like PVC Bondage Guy and what’s her name…Crystal “Horseface” Quin? I don’t think that Horseface ever followed through on that, “I’m going to join a wrestling school” thing, by the way.
What kind of videos can we expect from a Muslim Zombie Gums? Top Ten Video Game Infidels.
Are there any Islamic video games?
There’s an interesting discussion here. The original poster is playing Minecraft, which he deems halal but shirks at the idea of playing Rocket League if it forces you to play the Christmas update and use the Christmas cosmetics.
Somebody else suggests just regular mobile games like Plants vs Zombies or Angry Birds but with the music off because music is haram. I didn’t know that. Then there’s debate in the comments about whether or not music is haram.
Interestingly, somebody suggests Crusader Kings II, which is a game…well, it depends who you play as but the title suggest that it’s a game about the Crusades. About expeling the Muslims from Jerusalem. But you can also play as Muslim countries, which is what this guy is suggesting.
“I suggest crusader’s king II, it contain all of the above but you can expel the jew after asking money while conquering back spain as a muslim sultan.”
He’s not wrong. You can do that in the game.
Wow. Somebody else suggests Crusader Kings III. I had no idea that the game was so popular with the Muslim community. It’s also popular in the white supremacist community. That’s amazing that a game has crossover appeal like that. They’re both enjoying the game, ultimately for the same reason (propogation of your religion at the expense of another religion) but playing as different countries.
Looking at the comments, it seems that just about any game without a lot of sex or violence is allowed. Turn the music off just to be safe. And there’s loads of games like that.
A few people suggest Euro Truck Simulator.
What about flight simulators? I’m surprised that those don’t get a mention.
But anyway, I was looking for games that are expressly…Islamic. Anything like that?
Names of Allah Memory. A matching game for mobiles to help you learn the 99 names for Allah. Sounds riveting.
There seems to be a real gap in the market. Video games are apparently allowed in Islam. Why is nobody catering to this? There must be hundreds of millions of Muslim “gamers.”
Oh well. We can look forward to Erin wearing a full burka in her next video.
28:30 – Moon Ranger.
“There’s just not much to say.”
Good stuff, Erin.
29:15 – Tagin Dragon. The grand finale. Lay it on us, Zombie Gums.
“Between the changing colours of the dragon, the colourful logo, and trippy music, I’m not sure what I’m looking at.”
The clue is in the title. A dragon.
That’s the video. She had nothing to say about it. There was a bizarre comment about Yoshi’s Island and that was that.
The last 30 seconds are her talking about what Color Dreams are doing now. They’re making cameras, apparently. That’s all she said. I guess that that was the extent of Wikipedia’s information.
This was complete fucking shit. But this is six months of work. This is the result of multiple rewrites of a script. She’s proud of this video. She thinks that it’s one of her best.
How many fucking times can we hear about colours? She didn’t have one single, solitiary interesting observation about ANYTHING. She played all of these games, except for the one with all of the colours, for three minutes each, absolute maximum, solely to get the footage. She didn’t know anything about any of these games.
People are supposed to enjoy this? Well, let’s look at the comments.
- “Awesome video! Enjoyed this a lot. Color Dreams really made some strange titles Btw: Welcome back! :)”
- “Great to see you back and this was a belter of a video!”
- “Nice look at all this unique……stuff.”
Oh, Joe from GameSack replied. You know that he enjoyed it. He watched it with his pants around his ankles.
- “Did you know that Color Dreams originally planned to release a Hellraiser game on the NES? I believe this was the plan before they ever got around to releasing their first game. They went from Hellraiser to Bible Thumpers pretty fast.”
He knows full well that Erin doesn’t give a fuck about video games but he refuses to give up the facade. Erin replies, “I heard about the Hellraiser game but I didn’t know it was Color Dreams lol. That would have been great.”
Great stuff.
- “Mike said to check you out”
Oh. Did he? Is he promoting her on Cinemassacre again? I thought that Screenwave finally put a stop to that.
Is there not a “community” page any more? I can’t find it. Oh. They changed it to “posts.”
Nothing on Cinemassacre’s posts page. Or the Mike Matei channel posts page. He doesn’t seem to have tweeted about it but I’ll get to Twitter later. Maybe he mentioned it during a stream.
- “I like baby blue colour. Very cool”
- “bad ass shirt! Rad even! the colors and patterns sum up the late 80’s early 90’s to a tittle. 2”
- “yep.. I’ve seen those colors before.. that’s Contra on acid alright.”
Yeah. Retards are digging the colour stuff.
Oh, HornyGoriya replied.
- “Great video! I’ve always wanted a single-stop video for all these games and this was a perfect introduction to the whole bunch. Thanks so much!”
Wow. She is AGGRESSIVELY boring. I have NEVER read ANYTHING interesting coming out of that woman. It’s almost impressive. You think she’d slip up one time and say something slightly interesting. No chance. HornyGoriya is rock solid. You can always count on her for something unbelievably boring.
Not to be outdone, Erin, no slouch in the boring department, says, “I’m so glad you enjoyed it, thanks for watching!”
Not a single “negative” comment. So it must be me. Erin hit it out of the park with this one. She’s not scrubbing her comments, surely. I’m just not the right audience for this. I don’t share her appreciation for colours.
So keep up the good work, Erin.
But as a bonus, Erin did have an intersting tweet recently.
“Hey, @grok , who was the most famous person to visit my profile? It doesn’t need to be a mutual, don’t tag them, just say who it was.”
How embarrassing. Erin thinks that she’s some kind of a celebrity. She thinks that that faggot singer from The Strokes or something is going to her page because she mentions him a lot. She thinks that Britney Spears is keeping up with her fascinating tweets like…I can’t even find any. All I see are tweets promoting her videos and shit re-tweets of things that she doesn’t give a fuck about.
But Erin thinks that she’s the big time. With these HORRENDOUS videos. She must see the numbers. This video is at 10,000 views after two days. And that’s after six months of hype and Mike promoting it.
So who was the biggest celebrity who visited Erin’s channel? Mike Matei.
She even says that she was embarrassed to ask this. But fortunately, Joe from Game Sack was there to pick up the pieces. He said, “It takes a bit. I always ask in th emiddle of the night so fewer people see, lol. Now ask who is the most famous person to block you.”
Joe…she’s been with Mike for over five years. Give it up. Get some dignity.
But speaking of Mike, he also interjected because he didn’t want Erin to feel bad.
He asked the same question that Erin did.
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BAD GAMES! Every Color Dreams Game on NES – Erin Plays (Part 2 of 3)
Let’s go back to the exciting world of hues. I hope that red makes an appearance this time. We had a lot of blue, yellow, and green last time. No love for red? It’s one of the three primary colours along with green and blue, who were covered extensively in the first ten minutes of the video.
9:45 – “So you’re controlling a cute little robot…”
Good stuff, Erin. When you were writing the script, did you consider having a thesaurus next to you? You don’t have to say “cute” every time.
- adorable
- beautiful
- charming
- delightful
- pleasant
- pretty
Wow, that’s terrible. That was from Thesaurus dot com. Aside from “adorable” none of those are even accurate. Are you telling me there’s only one synonym for “cute”?
Merriam Webster’s website has a much longer list but…I’m not seeing any that are accurate. “Dollish” is okay, I guess.
“Junoesque”? “(Of a woman) imposingly tall and shapely. ‘a handsome Junoesque woman.’” That doesn’t seem accurate.
“Pulchritudinous”? Oh, this has got to be good. “A person of breathtaking, heartbreaking beauty.” Umm…would you use that term to describe a cute robot in a video game? Presumably no but nobody knows what “pulchritudinous” means so you could probably get away with it.
“Sublime”, I think would work. “You’re controlling a sublime little robot.”
“Resplendent” as well. I mean, I suppose a lot of these work given the fact that Erin puts the word “little” after the adjective. So even if you’re saying that something is “beautiful”, which is what most of these synonyms seem to be about, you have the diminutive right after it, which takes the edge off.
10:30 – So after that 30 second “review” where she barely played the game, we get King Neptune’s Adventure. “I remember stumbling upon this game years ago at a game store.”
More “stumbling.” Earlier, she talked about “stumbling” across some other game. Let’s check the thesaurus again since she obviously wasn’t using one when writing this script.
Well, these are all about literal stumbling, as in falling. Let me try “find”. Yeah. Any of these would work. “Discover”, “Hit upon”, “Hunt out”, et cetera. It’s just lazy script writing. If this was all off the cuff, that would be one thing, but she’s writing all of this shit out. Apparently. Multiple revisions. Six months of work. This is the best she can do? Everything is “cute”. Everything is “stumble”?
11:30 – “I couldn’t take any more of the music or the nauseating colour pallette.”
She’s talking about, I think, level one again. She never gets far in these games, let’s just say that. But another shout out to colours.
And then she just moves on. I thought that she was going to have more to say. No. That was the end of that “review.”
11:45 – “Master Chu & The Drunkard Hu has always baffled me by its existence.”
Oh sure. It’s keeping her up at night. She’s a big Master Chu & The Drunkard Hu fan. Played it once, for seconds, on stream, for money.
She doesn’t understand that plot, which features a drunken kung fu master, and chalks this up to the 1980s being “weird”. She’s clearly unaware of the long history of drunken kung fu masters in fiction.
Let’s look this up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drunken_Master
Well, there’s a 1978 kung fu comedy movie from Hong Kong. But does it go back further than that?
Oh. Indeed. By about 800 years.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wu_Song
A fictional character who was a practitioner of the Drunken Eight Immortals style of boxing. He claims that his “fighting ability is at its peak when he is drunk.” You can read his exploits in the Chinese classical novel Water Margin.
It’s not uncommon to find drunken kung fu depicted in video games. One of Erin’s favourite games for the “The PC Engine” as Erin calls the Turbo Grafx 16, bizarrely using the Japanese term, is China Warrior. Or as she calls it, again preferring the Japanese title, The Kung Fu. The final boss practices drunken style kung fu, taking swigs from his bottle of hooch to regain energy. I guess that she never got that far in the game. She never even got past the first level, which is her typical experience with video games.
12:00 – She describes some caterpillar enemies as “cute”. Great stuff, Erin. This script should be nominated for an Oscar.
12:45 – Metal Fighter. Barely played it. Had nothing to say about it.
14:15 – Operation Secret Storm. “Where do I start with this one?”
How about the colours?
She had nothing to say about it.
But it’s a game about the Gulf War, which presumably was released around the time of the Gulf War. That’s notable, surely. Let me look this up.
It was released in 1991. The Gulf War was 1990 to 1991. Yeah. How many games have there been even subsequent to this about the Gulf War? Not many, surely.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Gulf_War_video_games
Yeah, only a few. So this has some historical significance. But all that Zombie Gums could talk about was a camel who spits fireballs.
15:30 – The Pradikus Conflict.
“It starts you out in the menu of things you can purchase despite starting you out with no money. I hate when games do that.”
I can’t think of a single game where this issues arises. But Erin, being the mega gamer that she is, has apparently encountered so many games where this happens that it really bums her out.
16:00 – “There’s nothing much to say about this game besides it exists.”
Great review, Erin. The same description can basically be applied to Erin.
16:15 – After a brief (and boring) story about seeing some corporate mascot statue in sunny California, she starts her “review” of Pesterminator.
16:45 – Erin suggests, in jest, that this game was marketing for the pest control company whose mascot is the protagonist. And she gives the example of a parent calling this company when they have a “spider infestation.”
Really? Spider infestation? That’s what she thinks pest control companies do?
Mice, rats, cockroaches. To a lesser extent, hornets, bees, and ants. These are the sorts of things that pest control companies tend to deal with. Spiders? No.
I don’t think that landlords even have an obligation to deal with spiders. They don’t spread disease and is a spider infestation even a thing? They’re solitary.
I had slugs in one place I lived in. God, you talk about disgusting. Just seeing a three inch long slug creeping along the floor. It turned out that there was some leak under the kitchen cabinets so there was a bunch of water there. The pest control people cleaned up the water, they put slug pellets down, and the leak was fixed. It solved the problem.
17:15 – Then, from out of nowhere, Erin starts talking about the DARE program, which was an anti-drug program in US schools if you’re unaware.
“The 80s and 90s were all about telling kids how bad drugs were while at the same time introducing them to us.”
I thought that this was going to be some commentary about Ritalin or the rise in prescription drug use or the CIA controlling the crack trade or something. No. None of that. She then just shows that commercial comparing your brain to an egg.
HOW THE FUCK IS THAT INTRODUCING DRUGS? It’s REQUIRED to talk about drugs if you’re trying to discourage people from using drugs. What’s her solution?
I might have told this story before but it’s my greatest academic achievement. In the 12th grade, I had this weird, lazy as fuck teacher. “Eccentric” some might say. Some old woman who always had a bunch of pens in her hair. This was…biology class? Something. Some science. And I never took any complicated science class like chemistry or something so it had to be something basic like that.
Every week, we had to write like a ten page report on a different drug. It was bullshit. Writing ten pages every single week? Everybody knew that it was way too much work. She knew that it was way too much work. It was too much work for her. She didn’t even read these reports. She just looked at how many pages you wrote and gave you a grade based on that.
Armed with this information, I wrote a report on cocaine which was largely copied from my Encarta encyclopedia CD. I didn’t go all Newt Wallen on this, I had more sense than him, I changed words around, put things in my own words, shit like this. But it was basically a copy of the Encarta entry. This was before the internet, by the way.
So I got, I think a “B” on it. What wasn’t it an “A”? No idea. It was the ten pages and she didn’t even read it. But she just did whatever she wanted.
Fine. A “B” is good enough. So for the next week’s assignment, I decided to write about PCP. All I did was take that exact same paper that I wrote about cocaine, and did a “search/replace” replacing all instances of “cocaine” with “PCP”. I turned it in and got another “B”. She didn’t even read it. All of the information was clearly wrong. It was in relation to cocaine, not PCP.
I got so discouraged from that woman’s bizarre approach to education that I didn’t even bother doing the big science fair project at the end of the year. Actually, even with the best of teachers, I probably wouldn’t have done it. I was totally checked out by then.
So she said she was going to give me an “F” in the class. But she offered a solution. Buy $5 worth of candy from her. She would sell candy. It was in some kind of box. It would have only cost $5 to avoid failing the class. But I declined. Repeatedly. She’d ask me every few days. But it’s bullshit. Open bribery. Take that candy and shove it up your ass.
She ended up not failing me anyway. I got a D or D-.
17:30 – Erin suggests that she went to public school. It does somewhat explain things, I guess.
Public schooling in the US varies widely. It’s paid for by local taxes so if you’re in a wealthy area, it’s good, if you’re in a poor area, it’s horrendous. I don’t know what kind of school Erin went to but…listen to her for two seconds and tell me that that’s an educated person. She also went to college and has a degree in English but…we see the result.
I went to a Catholic school until the 10th grade and then a public school in a poor area. What a difference. Teachers openly not giving a fuck. Refusing to teach. It was rampant. I’d say half of them didn’t do anything. How can you live with yourself?
And I’m not saying that they were bad teacher or incompetent or couldn’t control the class. They would come into class, take attendance, and then sit there at their desk and do NOTHING. So we would just talk amongst ourselves or do whatever.
Some of the better lazy teachers would show an educational video or something. But there were some who would literally do nothing. Everybody knew. They didn’t get fired. Nothing happened.
In the 12th grade, there were students who couldn’t do long division. They couldn’t read. Some couldn’t even speak English.
Teachers refusing to teach absolutely didn’t happen in the private schools I went to. I couldn’t imagine it happening there.
18:00 – Raid 2020. “It’s nothing but some bottles of pills and a gun. This doesn’t look enticing at all.”
Speak for yourself, you square.
But I don’t think it’s SUPPOSED to look enticing. The game is anti-drugs, as she’s been suggesting this whole time by talking about DARE. They’re not promoting drug use.
19:15 – RoboDemons.
20:15 – “Level 2 is called the Level of Bone. I’ll let you make your own jokes with that one.”
First of all, I’m astonished that she apparently made it to level two. Secondly, GIVE US YOUR JOKE, ERIN. You had six months to come up with a joke. Do you have ANYTHING?
21:15 – “For now, that completes my journey with RoboDemons but knowing me, I’ll probably revisit it at some point.”
Oh, sure. You’re a real “gamer”, Erin. She’s chomping at the bit to play that game again. On stream, for money.
Less than ten minutes left of this god awful video. I was surprised that there weren’t any colour references in this middle section. Unless I mentioned one. No interesting colours in this batch of games, I guess.
-
BAD GAMES! Every Color Dreams Game on NES – Erin Plays (Part 1 of 3)
Oh my god. This? THIS is what she’s been teasing for months? THIS is her grand masterpiece that’s taken her six months to make? THIS is the video that she’s been talking about how great the SCRIPT is? This fucking cookie cutter, bland, bullshit from her tedious, lazy “series” that she stole from JOHN RIGGS where she just gives the Wikipedia descriptions of the games made from a particular developer for a particular console?
FUCK YOU!
No matter how low Erin seems to sink in terms of creative bankruptcy, she always seems to top herself. This is fucking unbelievable. Does anybody give a fuck about these games much less Erin’s mindless “opinion” on the games based on her playing these games for five minutes on stream, for money? NO!
But let’s check it out. And bear in mind that this is SCRIPTED. She tweeted about how she was working on the SCRIPT for this video. It went through multiple revisions. So it’s got to be good, right? This is six months in the making. This is going to be the best Color Dreams video of all time. For the six people who give the slightest of fucks about Color Dreams.
Maybe she just chose this because the company has the word “color” in it and she got excited. “Hey, there’s going to be hues. Let’s check it out.”
0:00 – What in the name of fuck is she wearing?
Before we continue, I’d like to reiterate my complete bamboozlement that Mike allows any of this to happen under his roof. He must see the videos before they’re released. He must see the process. Why doesn’t he offer to help? Does he offer but Zombie Gums refuses? Because he knows full well that this is all shit.
I’m not even one second in. All Mike had to say was, “Hey, Erin, don’t wear that. Whatever the fuck you’re wearing, go change. To anything. Just not that. For the love of Christ, what are you thinking?” Problem solved.
So…god fucking damn it. I don’t even know what she’s wearing. Some blue leopard skin full body suit. And a bunch of necklaces. How did she possibly think that this was a good idea?
She’s in her filming little…room. Garfield poster in the background about his contempt for computers. She’s a big Garfield fan, guys. A little Sears poster for some reason. And some Britney Spears fucking bullshit. Fuck off.
“Welcome back to another episode of Erin Plays. This time, I’m going to be looking at Color Dreams games and there are a ton of them.”
Eugh. Thirty fucking minutes of this trash.
0:15 – “These games always stuck out in the NES library because of the colour of the cartridges.”
Unbelieveable. Fifteen seconds in and she’s talking about colours. Like anybody gives a fuck. Mike…CHECK THE FUCKING SCRIPT OF THIS THING before it goes into “production”. “Erin, colours, we get it. Nobody cares. Maybe we can talk about something more interesting.” That’s all you had to say, Mike. You can’t keep this fucking moron under control?
“They either came in baby blue or black while most NES games were obviously gray.”
WHO CARES? FUCK OFF. YOU’RE A FUCKING RETARD.
Bear in mind that this was SCRIPTED. She wrote all of that out. She wants us to know about the colours. That’s central to this whole video.
0:45 – Wikipedia description of how the company called themselves Bunch Games for later titles.
1:00 – Menace Beach. “The colours are vibrant with pops of neon.”
SHE WROTE THIS.
Think about what’s happening here. Imagine yourself sitting down to review a game. Maybe for a school assignment or something because what adult does this? So you’re in the fourth grade and the assignment is to review a video game. Let’s say, I don’t know, Punch Out.
“Punch Out is an NES boxing game but interestingly, it plays kind of like a puzzle game. You have to figure out the patterns of increasingly difficult opponents and dodge and punch accordingly. You can punch high or low with an extra powerful uppercut punch being earned through skilled play. You face a variety of enemies from all over the world as you climb the ranks, eventually leading to a showdown against Mike Tyson himself.”
You want to know when colours would come into my review. NEVER. But it’s the FIRST THING that fucking retard Zombie Gums talks about. Because she knows absolutely jack shit about video games. She CAN’T do a review without mentioning colours because it’s ALL THAT SHE KNOWS.
“Of course you start out on the beach because it’s 1990 and everything was very…beach.”
THIS WAS SCRIPTED!
There’s a clip of a Barbie commercial where she’s on the beach to illustrate her point. Oh sure. 1990, where everything was “beach”. You remember 1990? You remember going to the beach?
No. I don’t, Erin. I grew up in the Midwest. 1990 was no different from any other year in terms of beachness. There was none. What the fuck is her problem?
There’s the commercial she used, by the way. 1989. Go fuck yourself.
Had she said 1989 was “very…beach” I’d be with her 100%. I was at the beach every fucking weekend. But by 1990? Fuck off. The beach was totally played out. Beaches were a fad. The world had moved on.
1:15 – “I even like the name of the name of the game: Menace Beach. Being a play on Venice Beach? It’s cute.”
Erin was sitting down at her computer, hunched over it, her fingers flying as she was writing this script. And THIS is what she came up with.
This is the script that she’s so proud of. Let me look for this tweet that she wrote.
“The video I’ve been working on 4ever is DONE! It’ll be out soon. I know I said I’d release smaller vids 1st to get “back in the algorithm” (if that’s even a thing) but fuck it. I don’t want to sit on it. I’m so proud of it and it was so much fun to make! so it will prob bomb lol”
In what universe would THIS video be at all successful? But she’s proud of it. She read that line about how the name Menace Beach was similar to Venice Beach and therefore “cute” and then gave a chef’s kiss and said, “Erin, you magnificent bastard, you’ve done it again.”
For the life of me, I can’t fathom a universe where ANYBODY would think that this is good. But she’s typing this shit, fully scripted, and proud of it. She thinks that this is going to knock everybody’s fucking socks off. “Boy, when the masses hear my views on colours, minds are going to be blown. This is some revolutionary shit right here.”
3:15 – After some absolutely bizarre bullshit that I won’t even get into, Erin says, “I just noticed that it says ‘Meanwhile at Demon Dan’s’. Who is Demon Dan? Anyway…”
And then she just moves on. Don’t bother doing any fucking research, Erin. Or, I don’t know, playing the game.
https://bootleggames.fandom.com/wiki/Menace_Beach
“According to the game’s instruction manual, the player controls Scooter, a skateboarding hero whose girlfriend, Bunny, has been kidnapped by Demon Dan.”
Done. Two seconds of research. Demon Dan is the antagonist of the game. Erin didn’t know this.
3:30 – “In this case, the main enemy is an Elvis impersonator, which, again, makes sense for Venice Beach.”
Earlier in the video, she said that ninjas and clowns, earlier enemies, aren’t seen at Venice Beach so it makes sense that they’d be at Menace Beach. That made no sense but am I supposed to comment on every stupid thing that Erin says? I’d comment on every fucking sentence. But here she’s saying that Elvis impersonators make sense for VENICE Beach. How? There are Elvis impersonators there?
3:45 – “That is where I almost always turn it off because it drives me absolutely insane.”
She’s suggesting that she plays this game regularly (clearly a lie) and turns it off because this Elvis impersonator on the second level just so enrages her. Does any of that make sense? This woman sat down and SCRIPTED this.
For a lark, let me look up “venice beach” and “elvis”. Maybe there are Elvis impersonators there. What do I know?
Well, there’s one. Is this a normal thing? I have no idea. We’re supposed to be familiar with the California beach scene? Fuck off.
And that’s the end of that “review”. She was so pissed off at this Elvis impersonator in the game, which she said MADE SENSE, at least in the context of VENICE Beach, that she didn’t want to play any more. And this is something that she regularly does. She fires up her NES, puts Menace Beach into the slot, gets to level two and says, “Elvis impersonator? That makes sense for Venice Beach. But I don’t want to play any more.”
4:00 – So we’re moving on to Baby Boomer. How much would you like to bet that she talks about colours, cute things, and then ends the game after the first level or two with some nonsensical excuse?
5:00 – “There also appear to be clouds of urine that you shoot repeatedly until you make a bridge made out of frozen urine. Seriously, could they have chosen a worse shade of yellow?”
Ding! Colours!
But let’s talk about colours. I would describe the shade of that cloud as green, not yellow. And to further illustrate my point that it’s green, when the cloud flashes, it clearly turns DARK green.
I wonder if there’s any way to prove what colour we’re all looking at. Like an app that detects colours.
Oh, I know what I can do. I’ll take a screenshot and then do a colour grab in Paint or something.
Hmm…Paint describes that colour as “dark yellow.” I’d like to get the RGB for this, though. Let’s get a second opinion.
194, 206, 1
Just so we’re all on the same page here, this is the colour:
Let’s see what Google describes that colour as.
https://www.htmlcsscolor.com/hex/CCCC00
They describe the colour as “La Rioja”. Where does that get us? I have to learn fucking Spanish now?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Rioja
A municipality in Spain. Do we need all of this? Is is green or yellow? That’s all I want to know.
https://encycolorpedia.com/cccc00
“Medium dark shade of yellow-green“
Fine. I’ll take it. My point stands. If you’re peeing that colour, see a doctor immediately.
Then she moves on after that revelation that she pisses green. I don’t even think that she played one level.
By the way, I’m not a doctor but dark urine is an indication that you’re not getting enough fluids. Urine should be fairly clear in colour. Maybe Erin has some sort of urinary tract infection. Does the urine have a strong odour? Shishi, were he still alive, would want to know.
5:30 – Castle of Deceipt. How much have I written so far? I got off track talking about Zombie Gums’ fucking disgusting green piss. Jesus Christ, I’ve already written enough for a full article. And that’s with me skipping a pretty big chunk. I’ll go to ten minutes. Do this in three parts. This is Erin’s big return to Youtube, after all. It warrants a multi-part treatment.
5:30 – “I’ve stumbled into playing this game a few times in my life.”
Yeah. On stream, for money. That’s not “stumbling”, you fucking smelly-pissed, zombie-gummed, retard.
5:45 – “Speaking of wizards, isn’t that Gandalf’s hat?”
What? Isnt’ Gandalf a wizard? She’s talking about a wizard character having a wizard’s hat. Gandals is a wizard, right? Let me look this up.
Yeah. He’s a wizard.
So Erin is surprised to see that a WIZARD has the hat of a WIZARD. She wrote this all out. It was scripted. Rewrites were made.
Wizard. Now I’m just thinking of “wiz” and Erin’s green piss.
“At least that’s what I’ve gathered from the amount of time that I’ve been able to stick with this game.”
Which is nothing. You played it, at best, on stream, for money. Briefly.
And she’s admitting, not to that specifically because she never does, but to the fact that she only played the game briefly. So…why should we give a fuck about her opinion about the game? She doesn’t know anything about it, as she’s clearly telling you.
6:30 – She’s talking about the doors in the game. Repeatedly. And the doors are green. Like the colour of a green crayon.
Now, she doesn’t mention the colour of the doors, somewhat surprisingly. But all I can think is, “What if somebody was peeing that colour? The colour of a green pea?” How green does your pee have to be before the average person says, “I better get this checked out”? For Erin, La Rioja isn’t quite green enough. She’s standing up after taking a piss, looking in the toilet, and saying, “Eh, it’s probably nothing.”
6:45 – Shout out to the “purple cigarettes up top”. We got a two for one in Erin’s repertoire of comedy. Colours AND “X looks like Y”. And in this case, Erin thinks that cigarettes have a filter on BOTH ENDS.
“And when you die, you turn into a vagina.”
Erin, please. I’ve thought about you urinating enough for a lifetime.
“I like how all of a sudden here I’m fighting a giant fly in a totally different perspective and that was actually kind of fun.”
Oh. So exactly like Contra. You remember Contra, right, Erin? It was your first video on Youtube, I believe.
In case you haven’t seen that video, it’s worth seeking out. She uses some GameShark or whatever code that gives her a life EVERY TIME SHE KILLS SOMETHING. Let me repeat this. She kills an enemy, she gets a life. So you quickly rack up lives with this ridiculous code. Because you’re constantly killing enemies. It’s basically an infinite life code.
Nevertheless, she was so fucking bad at this game that I thought she was going to run out of lives. She gets to a point where she dies REPEATEDLY without killing anything.
7:00 – The Adventures of Captain Comic. Oh, by the way, she only played that last game…well, she got to part that was a different perspective so assuming that was another level, she MAYBE got to level three. But I suspect that this was all just level one.
7:15 – “Bright green worms.”
I’m not doing it any more. Just insert your own urine reference here.
7:30 – “The music is the most generic bit of nothingness..”
Oh the irony. ERIN, the queen of generic nothingness, is calling out a game for doing the same. At least the people who made that game aren’t pissing green. Probably. I don’t know.
Let’s see what A. R. Henderson is up to these days. His named appeared in the credits in a lot of these games so far, a fact that Erin didn’t bother to catch. She was too busy looking at colours.
I’m not seeing anything. What about Michael Denio, the programmer.
https://www.angelfire.com/realm/thewarpzone/denio.html
There’s an interview on an Angelfire site from probably 25 years ago but they don’t ask any important medical questions.
Another site says that he works at Texas Instruments now but who knows how old that information is. He’s surely retired by now.
Here’s a project that I’d like to complete some day. Assemble a bunch of game designers, artists, and musicians of retro games. Rent out the banquet room at the Holiday Inn or something. Give them each an opportunity to talk about what it was like working in the industry back then, how their lives have turned out, what they’re doing now, et cetera. Have an audience. Film it. Put it on Youtube. Whatever. Let these people know how much their work is appreciated. Because these are all old men now. They’re not going to be around forever.
Then I’d get out a range of colour swatches, spread them out across the table, and say, “Gentlemen, which colour most closely matches the colour of your urine?”
8:00 – Challenge of the Dragon. Erin played almost nothing of that previous game. Again. That’s going to be a theme here. In fact, I’m not even going to say it any more. Just assume that she barely played any of the game unless I say otherwise.
8:15 – “It’s a side-scroller where you continuously walk right while fighting guys.”
So…like the vast majority of side-scrollers. What a moron.
8:30 – Extended idiocy about the character’s attire and how stylish it is.
8:45 – “The hearts up top are totally from Zelda 1.”
Maybe? These could be any hearts. There are only so many ways to make a heart given the limited pixel allowance. In any event, this was a Mike reference which only makes things more baffling. If he has a hand in these videos, why…why didn’t he rewrite the whole fucking thing? This is pure trash.
9:00 – “I wonder what the inside of Suzette’s looks like.”
She’s got absolutely nothing to talk about. It’s all colours, clothes, and background shit. And she plays these games for five minutes absolute maximum.
This took her SIX MONTHS to make.
9:15 – “Even the colour schemes get switched up, which I appreciate. This one features a lot of bright pinks and greens, which I wasn’t expecting for a game like this.”
Colour reference number…I don’t know…five so far. In nine minutes, she managed to talk about colours FIVE TIMES. Who is this for? Who gives a shit about colours?
AND THIS WAS ALL WRITTEN OUT. Mike was sitting there with his reading glasses on, casually swirling a glass of sherry with one hand, and nodding enthusiastically as he’s reading the tenth draft of this script as Erin sits nearby nervously awaiting his feedback. Mike says, “I love the colour references, dear. It’s sure to bring in the oft overlooked retard demographic. Butt sex later?”
I’m at the ten minute mark. Just another completely shit, pointless non-review from Zombie Gums.
It’s totally beyond me. She’s PROUD of this video. It’s six months of work. How is it any different from the trash that she’s been excreting for the past 5+ years? The shirt? Okay, the shirt is definitely different. But is that enough in her mind? “I’m really proud of his bizarre shirt that I’m wearing?”
-
Mike Matei’s Screen-Worn Shirt
I saw this on Reddit. The boys were talking about it, mostly in relation to Mike’s cock. You know how that goes. If you’re at all familiar with the homosexual community, anyway.
So there’s a shirt that was being sold on Ebay purporting to be from an episode of James & Mike Mondays. It was originally being sold for $130, I think, and then it was lowered to $100.
Mike then tweets about it. Or, BlueSkies about it.
“One of my twitch mods told me there is a shirt of mine for sale on ebay. I looked. Pretty sure thats not my shirt. I drove home after filming with my clothes on me. Theres no reasons it would have been in an auction. We did auction costumes like bugs bunny. But not my fucking clothes. Lol”
I find it odd that Mike has to make clear that he only learned about this through a Twitch mod. He wants to make it clear that he doesn’t go to Reddit, or at least not that homosexual subreddit. And I can believe that. I mean…why would Mike want to get all of the latest updates about that penis picture from ten years ago? But it seems a little pathetic that he’s at pains to say it was from his best buddy: a Twitch mod.
Anyway, Mike claims that the shirt isn’t his. But it clearly is. The story given on Ebay is totally plausible.
Offered here is a great find for any fan of one of the greatest podcasters of all time The Angry Video Game Nerd! This is Mike Matei’s screen worn shirt from James and Mike Mondays!
This was obtained from an auction which James Rolfe donated items from Cinemassacre & AVGN. This was part of a lot with some costumes and props from The Life of Black Tiger episode of AVGN. However this was clearly not used in the episode. After watching some clips this was matched to Mike Matei in the Kid Chameleon episode of James and Mike Mondays. It’s possible this was used in other skits/episodes as well as I imagine AVGN likely has a wardrobe selection they pull from as needed.
This is AWESOME! It is very rare to find props or wardrobe from Podcasters as most of their items are privately owned and only surface when they’re donated. AVGN/Cinemassacre are easily some of the most iconic podcasts ever!
If you want this great piece act fast!
I find it astonishing that somebody went through the effort to match this shirt to an episode of James & Mike Mondays. And for a $100 shirt. This was clearly done out of passion, not for profit.
The Ebay account also has 100% positive feedback, they specialise in movie props, and they’ve sold over 2000 items. This is all legitimate. They (or somebody) won an AVGN auction and this shirt happened to be in there, probably be accident. These James & Mike Mondays videos were filmed in batches, on the same day, and they would change shirts after each episode to simulate it being on different days. The shirt somehow got left behind and ended up in this auction lot.
But Mike is adamant that it’s not his shirt. What kind of a lunatic would go through the effort of finding a vintage shirt from SIX YEARS AGO that exactly matches the shirt that Mike wore and sell it for a hundred bucks?
So anyway, the fags on Reddit are all like, “Who would pay $100 for one of Mike’s old shirts?”
How much do these people think that shirts cost? That shirt probably cost…I don’t know…$30 new. That seems like a reasonable price for a Walmart shirt, which is probably the type of place that Mike got the shirt from. Let me look this up.
Jesus Christ. The price for button down short sleeve shirts range from $7 to $30. Who the fuck is buying $7 shirts?
The shirt that Mike is wearing is thin and probably not any kind of designer shirt. So let’s say that he spent $25 on it. Still, $100 for a new shirt, from a semi-reputable brand, isn’t unreasonable. But these fags think that it’s crazy money to spend on a shirt.
This is a piece of history. The Kid Chameleon James & Mike Mondays shirt.
Joe from Gamesack left a comment. “Wait, so that underwear I bought wasn’t really screen-used by you?” Oh, you witty devil. Keep trying to steal the love of Mike’s life from under him.
But yeah, clearly his shirt. And it got me thinking, these “Youtubers” are leaving money on the table by not selling their clothes and whatnot.
How much money could Erin get for the Powerpad in that video? Or her fucking clothes from that video? Those tiny shorts that kept riding up and she had to constantly re-adjust? Shishi, were he still alive, would empty his bank account for that shit.
You wouldn’t even have to wash them. Advertise them as unwashed and you’d get MORE money.
Or what about that black and white striped shirt that Erin wore for a few videos and was the basis for my banner? Or that “retro” jean jacket that she wears a lot? Or any of those shitty zero-effort Halloween costumes that she wears?
But it doesn’t even just have to be the “iconic” episodes and outfits. Somebody paid a hundred bucks for a shitty shirt worn in some throwaway episode of James & Mike Mondays. You can sell ANYTHING and people will buy it.
Sure, people would get bored of it pretty quickly. The novelty would wear off. You’d get fewer bids. But there would still be diehards. And as long as you sell it for more than the item cost, you’re making a profit.
These are people who give Erin (and Mike) money for NOTHING. The subscriptions, the gift subscriptions, whatever. How much more would they pay for something? Even if it’s just a shitty shirt.
What about that Pac-Man shirt that Mike wore in a video years ago that he says Erin got for him that looked like a woman’s blouse? I mentioned it in some article but I think it was on Reddit and it’s gone. People would pay a hundred bucks for that.
Oh, breaking news. Mike responded to a tweet as I was writing this. Somebody said:
- “Have you tried looking for the shirt? I looked extremely close and compared it to the one in the J&MM and it’s identical. Plus it’s from a legit source.”
Mike responds with, “That was probably 5-10 years ago. I dont think i have ANY of the same clothes.”
Oh sure. Mike is a real clothes horse. He’s always wearing the latest…plain black shirts. He has to keep up with the plain black shirt trends, after all.
But the fact that he claims to throw all of this shit out or give it to Goodwill or whatever is all the more reason to sell it. You too can get one of Mike’s black shirts.
Oh, he mixed it up in his latest video. He’s wearing some kind of…jacket I think? Must be an unseasonably cold July in New Jersey.
But after a break, he takes the jacket off and you see that he’s wearing a white t-shirt. Maybe a five pack from Hanes? Total cost: $10. That’s $2 a shirt. How much would Games & Movie pay for that shirt? Games & Movies “gifts” like $50 every stream. This is a mentally challenged man, bear in mind. Fifty bucks in exchange for NOTHING. He’d surely pay at least twice that for the shirt.
I don’t know why people aren’t doing this. Mike will sometimes draw something on stream or if he’s playing a game where it helps to draw a map, he’ll draw a map. He could sell those too. People seem really interested in those maps.
He probably doesn’t need the money but it would surely help. He might be able to pay for Erin’s twice-monthly trips to Disneyland just with this shit. Erin might be able to pay for her own trips if she did this. She could start pulling her own weight somewhat.
As for the investment value…I don’t know. Are movie props generally a good investment?
I remember the Mystery Science Theater 3000 auction when that show ended and I wanted to get something but I didn’t have any money. But I’ve looked up those props subsequently, and it’s a lot of “This shit fell apart shortly after I got it” or “It got destroyed during a house move” and shit like this.
I was looking at Propstore dot com a few months ago but it’s just a lot of overpriced trash from forgetable recent movies that nobody would give a shit about. Nevertheless, this company has been around for a while. People are obviously buying. And movies today must sell absolutely everything that they have to companies like this, no matter how inconsequential the item is.
But as far as resale…surely, the item has to be somehow iconic from a popular movie to have any hope of getting a return on your investment. The American flag jacket from Easy Rider. Ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz. Shit like this.
I can’t imagine the guy who bought Mike’s Walmart shirt hanging on to it for ten years and then selling it for even $200. But I suppose it’s more personal than that. The guy who bought that just wants to have something of Mike’s and maybe rub up on it at night. Not everything has to be about money.
-
Erin’s Complete Lack of Knowledge About Disney
You know how Erin never shuts the fuck up about Disney? And she goes to Disneyland every two weeks when she’s visiting her parents?
Well, just like the rest of her made up interests, she knows NOTHING about it.
56:30 – A horntard asks which she prefers: Dumbo, Pinochio, or Fantasia. Three of the most well-known classic Disney movies.
“I don’t know. Pinochio was traumatising to me when the kids turn into donkeys and it makes me feel bad because I’m like does that mean they treat donkeys really bad?”
Good stuff, Erin. Moving on.
“I also don’t like…I don’t think that I ever finished Dumbo because I think his mom dies or they get separated or something horrible and I just can’t.”
She’s a big Disney fan, guys. Never watched Dumbo. Even as a 37 year old woman, she can’t handle it.
“Fantasia, I guess I’d pick Fantasia…because I think that was the least…uhh…disturbing to me.”
Oh sure. She loves the racist depictions of centaurs.
She’s never seen any of this shit. It’s obvious. NOBODY would pick Fantasia over ANYTHING. Racism aside, the movie SUCKS COCK.
I saw it as a kid on a field trip. Third grade maybe. It was big news because our school has a pretty strict “All field trips have to be educational” rule. So we went to a lot of museums.
But this is a movie. Disney. Cartoons. It’s going to be awesome.
No, it’s fucking shit. Classical music throughout. That’s how we were able to see it. The “educational” part was the classical music.
I still remember sitting there thinking, “Man, this is going to be awesome. It’s a Disney movie. I enjoy cartoons. Bring it on.” And then the absolute horror as NOTHING HAPPENS. It’s just fucking classical music for 90 minutes. EVERYBODY was pissed off. We were sold a cartoon and we got fucking Beethovan. Fuck Beethovan.
There’s simply no way that Erin knows ANYTHING about Disney for her to pick Fantasia out of those options.
I’m not saying that Fantasia is the worst Disney cartoon movie of them all, I know that there are some exceptionally shitty ones, but from the ones that I’ve seen, which is a pretty small list, Fantasia is FAR AND AWAY the worst. There’s not even a fucking narrative. It’s pretentious “I am an art-eest” bullshit.
1:00:00 – “Alice in Wonderland, Sword…Sword in the Stone or Cinderella?”
She can’t even pronounce “sword”. She pronounced it with the “w” at first. Unbelievable.
“I’ve never seen Sword in the Stone.”
You don’t say. What a Disney fan.
“I’d probably pick Cinderella.”
“But Alice is cool too, it’s just so wacky. I don’t know.”
Great chat, Erin. You’re really demonstrating your lifetime of knowledge about the Disney filmography.
What a fucking lying bitch. Is she genuinely interested in ANYTHING? Maybe her Britney Spears interest is fake too. Maybe she’s been lying this whole time about liking colours. I bet that she doesn’t know jack shit about the different shades of pink.
“I have to be in the mood for Alice. It’s just so…nuts.”
That’s it. That’s all she has to say. People are asking her Disney questions specifically because they’re trying to get her to talk. So they’re asking her shit about things that she professes to enjoy. But you see the responses. IT’S NOTHING.
I probably saw Cinderella as a small child. I don’t remember it. I’ve seen Alice in Wonderland probably five times as a kid. I think that I saw Sword in the Stone too. Alice in Wonderland is clearly the best of the three. Cinderella is boring bullshit from the 1940s, Sword in the Stone is shit from the 1970s, and Alice in Wonderland is drug-fueled greatness from the 1960s.
Wow. I was way off. Cinderella was from 1950, Alice in Wonderland from 1951, and Sword in the Stone from 1963. It’s insane that Alice in Wonderland is a contemporary movie to Cinderella. Alice in Wonderland is action-packed. Cinderella…less so. And Sword in the Stone is shit.
So what did Erin pick? Cinderella. And just by the process of elimination. She didn’t know jack shit about any of them.
1:00:30 – “Sleeping Beauty? I just remember as a kid like I really liked the end when her dress kept changing colours and I would just rewind that part and watch that over and over because I had issues. I was like, ‘I like the colours.’”
Un-fucking-believeable. Here’s an opportunity to talk about your extensive knowledge about Sleeping Beauty and she talks about COLOURS. Could this be any more fucking retarded?
When she’s playing these fucking games, all she ever talks about is colours. And I thought, “Well, it’s because she knows nothing about video games so she has to talk about something.”
As it turns out, this is how Erin talks about EVERYTHING. Because she knows NOTHING about EVERYTHING.
1:01:00 – “Live action Alice in Wonderland? Like the series? I loved that series when I was really little on the Disney Channel. I remember watching that, like, all the time in the morning.”
And? Memorable episodes? Anything AT ALL that you care to say about it?
No. Just that she remembers watching it. ANYBODY could have said that. It’s not adding ANYTHING to the conversation.
“It was weird. Looking back, it was pretty strange.”
Yeah. It’s Alice in Wonderland. This isn’t adding anything. Then she just moves on. It’s incredible. SHE’S RETARDED.
And were they even talking about the fucking series on the Disney Channel? I assumed that they were talking about that movie from the 1980s or whenever. Let me look this up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alice_in_Wonderland_(1985_film)
Yeah, that’s what I was thinking of. It surely wasn’t made by Disney. It was pretty disturbing. The Jabberwocky terrified me and I had to stop watching. Then I overheard my mother mocking me to my father saying, “It didn’t even look real” and my father defending me saying, “It looked real to him.”
What a fucking piece of shit mother I had. But there’s a little story. It’s something that I contributed to the discussion. I didn’t just say, “That’s cool” or “I liked the colours” like fucking retard Zombie Gums over here. Because I actually saw this shit and have things to say. I’m not just making shit up based on movies that I never saw.
What even was this Disney Channel live-action thing?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adventures_in_Wonderland_(1992_TV_series)
I never saw it. I was too old.
1:01:45 – “The Goofy Movie? I remember liking it, I just haven’t seen it in so many years and it’s so popular. Like, a lot of people in their 30s and 40s love that movie and I’m like, ‘I need to rewatch it’ because I don’t remember a lot of it.”
You don’t say. This is her entire existence. She “forgets” EVERYTHING. Because she’s never fucking done anything. This is all entirely made up. This is why she gives generic non-answers to everything. She has no interests, no hobbies, and has never done ANYTHING.
So that’s what she had to say about the Goofy Movie. A Disney movie from her era. “I saw it but I don’t remember it.” Great stuff, you fucking moron.
This is somebody who claims to be all about Disney. WHAT does she know about Disney? Name ONE Disney animated feature film that you can have ANY kind of conversation about. I think that we’ve hit most of the big ones. And even some rather obscure ones. She had nothing to say about any of them.
34:15 – I’m going back in time now but this is remarkable. “Does that say ‘Shreks’? I’ve never seen Shrek. I’ve never seen any of the Shrek movies.”
I guess that she was too busy not-watching Disney movies to watch any Dreamworks movies.
And this was her era as well. Zombie Gums was like ten when the movie came out. She had no interest. She was just staring at a wall all day, every day.
“They just never appealed to me and it makes me feel like an outsider on this earth because everyone, apparently, has seen Shrek and everyone loves Shrek.”
What HAS she been watching then? It sure as fuck wasn’t Disney movies.
Even I’ve seen Shrek and I have no fucking interest in any of this bullshit. It’s just something you encounter in daily living.
34:45 – “Like I’m some crazy, evil person for not seeing Shrek ever. It’s like, I don’t want to. Do I have to? There’s like five…how many are there, like four movies? I don’t want to fucking watch it.”
Then don’t watch it. But this is somebody who claims to be interested in Disney fucking cartoon movies and “cute” shit generally but she seems to have seen NONE of this. And she has no interest in it. So…what the fuck is she doing at Disneyland every two weeks? Why maintain this bizarre facade of being interested in something that you know NOTHING about and don’t give a fuck about?
This is the exact same thing that she does with video games. She clearly doesn’t give a fuck about video games and doesn’t care about them but she’s there fucking streaming video games every couple of weeks. She tried to make a living out of this. WHY? Why try to base your life on things that you DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT?
It’s the most bizarre, mentally ill bullshit I’ve ever seen.
I guess that this is what happens when there’s a human being out there with absolutely no interest in anything. I’ll give her colours. Maybe. But how much can you do with colours?
What is the psychological explanation for how a human being can end up being interested in NOTHING?
Perhaps this goes to my autism theory on Erin. Heavy_Sleep6750 sounds a lot like old Zombie Gums. She has no interests and just goes from one superficial “interest” to the next, much like Zombie Gums’ “today I like Alf, yesterday I liked Popples, tomorrow I’ll like Match Game and I don’t know jack shit about any of this nonsense.”
I also saw a scholarly article just about “boring people.”
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/01461672221079104
Maybe it’s as simple as that. She’s a bore. It talks about the “merging of identities” in boring relationships. That’s certainly accurate. Erin, despite being interested in nothing, will pretend to be interested in whatever Mike is interested in. Her stream ideas are entirely stolen from Mike. “Variety streams” is a term that he uses and Erin just stole. Mike drags Erin to a Star Trek convention, suddenly Erin is talking about her love for Ensign Chekov. Mike makes her watch an episode of the Price is Right, Erin is (erroneously) suddenly talking about what a dick Bob Barker was to the contestants.
She just never does anything and she’s never done anything. It’s to be pitied.
-
Celebrity Encounters with Erin Plays
“YEARS ago at the ArcLight on Sunset (RIP,) Andy Dick sat two seats away from me and every once in a while I’d hear him laugh or say something and it was so fucking surreal. I’m going to be accused of lying because I don’t remember what movie it was, but it happened.”
Let me get this straight. She was seated at the cinema with Z-list star of News Radio Andy Dick. News Radio is a show from 30 years ago, by the way, a show that nobody watched, least of all Erin. And Andy Dick said some stuff. She doesn’t remember what. I guess. Was he with somebody or by himself. She doesn’t remember. I guess. And she doesn’t remember what the movie was, a detail that she, inexplicably, seems to think is crucial to the story.
THIS IS NOTHING. “I was at the movies and Andy Dick was saying some stuff. Isn’t that wild?”
You really paint a picture, Zombie Gums.
And then look at these fucking responses.
- “I’m guessing living in California this kind of celebrity sighting is slightly more normal than Indiana.”
Erin says, “Well yes lol”
SO FUCKING REGALE US WITH SOME STORIES THEN, YOU FUCKING CRETIN. She doesn’t have any. She’s never fucking done anything. Look at this amazing Andy Dick story that she gave. NOTHING HAPPENED.
Was Andy Dick just talking to himself and Erin, at the movies with her dad, was just looking away nervously? She didn’t seem to have any interraction with him. How the fuck is that a story worth sharing?
- “In 2008 I actually worked there at the arclight! I believe cause it was surreal to see so many stars up and about. I remember serving popcorn to zach braff and anne Hathaway. Zach was a right prick lol”
Erin says, “lol i believe it”
It’s unbelievable. She has no idea how communication works. The guy tells a story, only slightly better than her own, he at least mentions that Zach Braff was a jerk, and then Erin does her old standby, “That’s cool.”
Erin. If you- have stories to tell about all your big Hollywood encounters, FUCKING TELL THEM.
She’s got nothing. And she doesn’t even know how to speak to people who possibly do have stories to tell.
Why does she behave like this? It’s the same on her streams. She’s incapable of saying ANYTHING even REMOTELY interesting. Colours, “X looks like Y”, cute things in the background, and her response for ANYTHING that ANYONE says EVER is always, “That’s cool.”
Does she have autism? There’s something definitely not right with her.
This is like how for years people thought that James Rolfe was just playing a wacky character and then the autobiography came out and he talked about going to special education and there were all of the stories demonstrating his peculiar behavior and thought processes and you realise, “Oh my god. This wasn’t an act. This man is legitimately mentally retarded.”
Is this Mike’s thing? He’s drawn to the mentally impaired?
Let’s try to salvage this horrendous tweet. ArcLight. What the fuck is this and why should anybody care?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinerama_Dome
A movie theatre in Los Angeles. Who gives a shit?
So that didn’t get us anywhere.
How did Erin even recognise Andy Dick? I assume that she went there with her father because she doesn’t seem to have done much between the ages of 18 and 29 or so, which is when she moved in with Mike, other than throwing up after eating at an establishment called Pink Dog and a separate incident where she was served a bowl of ranch dressing with friends.
It’s not like Andy Dick was ever popular. What did he do besides News Radio?
According to Wikipedia…nothing. Drug addiction. That’s it. Was Erin a big News Radio fan? It was on between 1995 and 1999. And bear in mind that this is somebody who says that she’s never seen Seinfeld. Erin aka CyKill86 aka Zombie Gum would have been between 9 and 13 years old. She wasn’t watching that shit. NOBODY was.
It’s just unbelievable. There’s something seriously wrong with her. This might explain all of her made up physical complaints as well like the zombie gums and the phantom carpal tunnel syndrome. Mentally, she has problems.
She also threatens us with releasing that long-delayed video.
“The video I’ve been working on 4ever is DONE! It’ll be out soon. I know I said I’d release smaller vids 1st to get “back in the algorithm” (if that’s even a thing) but fuck it. I don’t want to sit on it. I’m so proud of it and it was so much fun to make! so it will prob bomb lol”
How would it not “bomb”? Your videos are shit and it’s gotten to the point where she releases three videos a year. She hasn’t uploaded in five months.
Oh, would you look at this. Creepy beta orbitter Joe from Gamesack is the top comment.
- “If you enjoyed making it and are proud of the end product, 100% it will bomb.”
Oh, he’s such a card. Chicks like funny guys, right? How’s that working out for you so far, Joe? He’s been trying to get into Erin’s pants for YEARS.
So what’s Erin’s variation on “that’s cool”?
“lol I’m trying to prepare myself.”
Good stuff, Erin. Really interesting.
Maybe she can make a video on News Radio. Who’s your favourite character? The Joe Rogan character? The Phil Hartman character? I’ve literally never seen the show even once so I don’t know the character names.
Maybe I’ve been missing out. Let’s check out a “best of” video on Youtube.
Contemptible. New York-centric trash. Why is it that people from New York think that the rest of the country gives a shit about New York?
Here’s another one. Thinly-viled veiled Jewish bullshit. Who doesn’t like Jews? Come to New York to see lots of money-obsessed Jews.
So yeah, I didn’t miss a thing by skipping News Radio.
There’s no city I hate more than New York. Los Angeles is number two.
Vinnie: Hey, the bodega on 38th street is the best place to get a slice in the city.
I don’t give a shit, Vinnie. Take your pizza and shove it up your ass. Why are you telling me this?
And you’d hear this sort of shit from people NOT CURRENTLY LIVING IN NEW YORK. Dude, fucking move on. I couldn’t give less of a fuck about rent control in your Brownsville tenement.
-
Looking for Brazil Exclusives at Mr. Games – John Riggs
He’s still in Sao Paulo but THIS time he’s at…another video game store.
WHO GIVES A SHIT? The is the world’s most boring travelogue. The same fucking games that you can get in the US but the “bonus” here is that the proprietor of the store doesn’t understand what the fuck you’re saying.
I’ll watch at 2x speed.
2:00 – Some fat guy makes an appearance. No, not John Riggs. Not John Hancock. Not that third fat guy from the previous video. A DIFFERENT fat guy. They’re all fucking fat guys.
I just don’t get it. You’re a big fat guy, right? And you like video games. I’m with you so far. Big fat guys often like video games.
But here’s the part that trips me up. You’re going to Brazil. And instead of going to the beach or the museums or taking a bus tour or checking out the night life or eating in the restaurants or doing literally ANYTHING ELSE, you say, “I’m going to spend my time in fucking video game stores talking to other fat American nerds.”
WHAT’S THE FUCKING POINT? You could have stayed home and talked to obese nerds in video game stores. Why go all the way to Brazil for that? Who goes to Brazil for the fucking video games stores?
John Riggs’ idea of what Brazil is like is going to be “Everybody’s a fat American in a video game store.”
13:45 – So after nearly 14 agonizing minutes of showing shitty bootleg games that looked like somebody dug them out of the trash, we get John Riggs randomly showing a table full of confectionary and the proprietor of the previous video is suddenly here. Why? Nobody knows. Nothing is explained. But John Riggs makes a “joke” asking “What game is this” and pointing to the confectionary. The proprietor, who has limited English abilities, doesn’t understand. John Riggs doesn’t understand how to speak to people with limited English. Jokes can be confusing. Especially lame ones that even a native speaker would respond with, “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Then some other fat guy, John Hancock as it turns out, says, “What’s on top” in reference to the sugar, an obvious cocaine “joke”. You know…Brazil being a big supplier of cocaine.
Let me look this up. Colombia, sure, but Brazil?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_prevalence_of_cocaine_use
Well, the US has the highest cocaine usage of any country in the world. That’s interesting.
“Colombia is the top coca cultivator in the world, producing 60% of the world’s cocaine, followed by Peru and Bolivia.”
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-66784678
I found another site that again only lists Colombia, Peru, and Bolivia and they give the statistics as 65% Colombia, 27% Peru, 8% Bolivia.
If you look specifically for “Brazil” and “cocaine”, you’ll find some stories but it’s not a joke that I would make about Brazil. Who associates cocaine with Brazil?
14:45 – This is what giant nerds in Brazil look like. They’re not obese, they just grow handlebar moustaches. You see this shit in the US too. GIANT nerds grow the handlebar moustaches.
So that’s the video. Holy shit was that boring. SHOW THE FOOD, YOU FAT FUCK. That was the only good part of John Riggs’ videos. When he’d show what he was fucking eating. Here’s a perfect excuse to do it, you’re abroad, the food is different, SHOW IT. Who gives a shit about these fucking bootleg games, Woody “the” Woodpecker Brazil exclusive games, and games that are identical to the US versions but for the fact that the name of the company on the game is different?
- “stay safe in brazil”
WHAT CAN HAPPEN? He’s not going anywhere other than these fucking video game stores.
Besides, is Brazil any less safe than the US? I’ve been assaulted by random people in the US, had guns pulled on me, lunatics chasing me in their cars. I genuinely believe that I’d be safer in one of those favelas in Brazil with the scrap tin shacks than I would in my home town.
-
Brazil Game Store tour! A Casa do Video Game – John Riggs
John Riggs is in Brazil trolling for booty, as usual. Some of that big, Brazilian booty.
He’s there with John Hancock.
Look at that thumbnail. The guy who owns the store has lighter skin than John Riggs, who is red, presumably from years of alcohol abuse. That strikes me as peculiar. Although, I suppose Brazilian people, like South and Latin American people in general, come in a range of shades. They’re a very mixed people, after all.
A Spanish professor from somewhere in South America (I think) once said that in her country, people decide what their “race” is, based on skin colour. So if you’re light-skinned, you’re white, if you’re dark-skinned, you’re black, and I suppose there’s a middle range for brown. And this can vary even within families.
Furthermore, light-skinned is preferred, but that’s perhaps well-known. Being of Spanish descent, or Portugese in the case of Brazil, is preferred to being a descendent of American Indians and/or African slaves.
But imagine John Riggs travelling all the way to Brazil just for booty. The levels of desperation. I know that he’s saying that he’s going there for a nerd convention, but in what universe would you travel nearly 7,000 miles for a nerd convention? He doesn’t even speak the fucking langauge.
I used to live with Brazilian guys. There were…four of them. I had to share a room with one of them. Biggest asshole I’ve ever known? Umm…possibly? There are some contenders. I talk about it here:
I used to be more open-minded back then. I’d live with Indian guys, Sri Lankan guys, Eastern Europeans, French, Brazilians, whatever. I didn’t give a fuck. Broaden your horizons, you know?
Then you live with them. Oh. This is why stereotypes exist. They’re true. Not everybody thinks and behaves like I do. Some people have WILDLY different ideas on how to think and behave.
0:15 – They’re in Sao Paulo. I know that’s the capital, but aren’t there ghettos there? There surely must be, as there are in the large cities of most countries. But I’m thinking that back in…the 1980s…1990s…there were roving police fighting with gangs in Sao Paulo. This was back when Brazil had some dictator. Let me look this up.
Oh, maybe I’m thinking of Rio De Janiero.
History of Brazil…military dictatorship. Here we are. 1968 to 1985. Supported by the US, of course.
Which country had those planes that they would fly out, fill with political dissenters, and then open the cargo bay over the ocean?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_flights
A few of them, apparently, but I was probably thinking of Argentina. Brazil not among them.
So John Riggs mentions that it’s a house. That is strange but it’s something I’ve seen in the UK too. In small towns in particular. There will be a shop, like a convience shop or something, and it’s just somebody’s house in a residential neighbourhood. How do they get the zoning for that?
John Riggs immediately shows the chocolate that you can get at this store, possibly for free. Garoto. Let me look this up.
Founded by a German immigrant in 1929 and acquired by Nestle in 2002. So it’s probably shit now.
“Today, Garoto is one of Brazil’s largest chocolate manufacturers in the world.”
Way to go, Wikipedia. That doesn’t make any fucking sense. Is it the biggest in the world or the biggest in Brazil?
Are there any reviews on Amazon or something?
“Muito bom produto, excelente qualidade”
Look at this. I don’t even speak Portugese but I think I can figure this one out. “Very good product. Excellent quality.”
“Essa marca de chocolate sempre supera as nossas expectativas. Chocolates excelentes!”
Umm…”It’s (something) of chocolate sometimes super and exceeds expectations. The chocolates are excellent.”
Oh, here’s a negative review. Only two stars. “Prezzo esagerato molto caro ho comprato a Milano nel supermercato brasiliano per 11 euro non comprerò più.”
Ummm…I think he’s just complaining about the price, the chocolates being cheaper at the supermarket. But why is he giving prices in euros? Oh, he’s from Italy and the review is in Italian.
0:45 – John Riggs is there for Retro Con, or as he calls it Booty Con. Behind him is some fat white chick. What a disappointment. You go all the way to Brazil hoping to get some Brazilian booty and the only people who show up for your meetup are fat Americans living in Brazil.
And it’s soooooooo loud in there. People are speaking English so these are people there for this weird John Riggs/John Hancock meetup. And they’re just Americans living in Brazil.
1:15 – John Riggs shows a game that this guy is selling. John Riggs doesn’t even know the name of the currency. Or at least he was unsure on the pronunciation. He clearly does no research before he travels.
So the guy is selling an N64 game called Stunt Racer for 16,000 BRL. That’s Brazilian real, of course. We all know about Brazilian currency. That would be…$2871 according to my current calculations and…yeah, exactly the same according to this guy’s calculator. So he’s giving the real exchange rate. But is that possibly the price that this game goes for? Let me look this up.
Maybe it is. Some price guide lists it at $2,300, complete in box. And there are a lot of posts on Reddit talking about the price explosion of this particular game.
The video is 30 minutes long and I’ve scanned it and NO EATING. What the fuck? I’m supposed to watch half an hour of John Riggs just showing the merchandise in a video game store? Who gives a shit? SHOW THE FOOD. Go out on the street and show the fucking Brazilian women.
This is brutal. Why am I watching this? This is no different from him showing fucking…what’s that store near to him…Pink Gorilla. He goes all the way to Brazil and then makes the exact same fucking video that he always makes.
Unbelievable. This guy couldn’t make an interesting video to save his life. He’s in Brazil but everyone around him is an American (except for the owner) and he’s just showing the fucking games. WHO CARES?
There are minor differences between the names of the games in Brazil compared to the US and shit like this. It’s…I don’t give a fuck. This is not worth travelling to Brazil for.
And it’s all fucking fat guys. John Riggs is fat, John Hancock is fat, and Keith (or whoever the third guys is) are fat too. This is embarrassing. These are the American ambassadors going to Brazi representing the nerd community. I mean, it’s accurate but it’s still embarrassing.
14:30 – John Riggs is looking at the inflated prices of the official games and says that he should be brought his games from home to sell them here at inflated prices.
It reminds me of a story that a teacher told me in the 7th grade or so. It was a religion teacher, I should mention. She talked positively about how Americans would go to the Soviet Union and sell their jeans for grossly inflated prices, even covering the entire cost of their flight, American jeans being a popular commodity in the dying days of the Soviet Union. Apparently. And this highly-religious woman was encouraging this exploitive practice.
John Riggs is going through a bunch of bootleg games. Who cares?
I’m 18 minutes in. I don’t get this. Why travel to Brazil for THIS?
21:00 – I skipped ahead. Finally, we see a woman who isn’t 300 pounds. She’s there with her boyfriend or something. Dmarcal90. Let’s look this up.
https://www.youtube.com/@Dmar%C3%A7al90/videos
Some Brazilian nerd with seven videos, none of which feature this woman. Last video uploaded nine months ago. He seems to have only uploaded stuff for a month. But surprisingly he gets more views than fucking…what’s her name…Zap Cristal.
John Riggs asks them who won some game they were playing but I don’t think that either of them speak English.
I just skimmed through the rest of the video. NOTHING HAPPENED.
Well, that was…that. I think that I’ve already expressed my disappointment in the lack of sexy ladies in the video. What else can I say? It’s shit.
In other news, I don’t think that Shishi is with us any more.
https://twitter.com/ShishiVids
He posted multiple times a day, every day, usually about apes and anime, sometimes about Erin, and then suddenly stopped on the sixth day of February. His Patreon is gone. His Youtube channels haven’t been updated in over a year. And I haven’t heard Erin mention him in a long time.
I don’t suppose that Newt tweeted about his death. But no shoutout from Erin either. This was her number one fan. She doesn’t give the slightest of fucks. Erin will talk about Michelle Trachtenberg dying, somebody who wouldn’t give Erin the time of day, but ShiShi, somebody who devoted years of his life and untold thousands of dollars to Erin…nothing.
There’s a guy who knows how to make a video about Sao Paulo. Not a video game or fat American in sight. Just a bunch of creep shots of women. Actually, it’s also pretty boring.